Hayley’s lips parted but no words fell out as ultimate surprise struck her silent.
“Only when you’re gone.”
She rolled her eyes, as I knew she would. “You’re actually hurt, physically hurt. Let me look at your hand. We probably have to go to the hospital and have it looked at or something. Does it hurt terribly?”
“Yeah.” There was no use lying. My hand was bleeding, and looked quite a mess. It was like a mirror image of what I expected my heart to look like.
Hayley inspected it, touching it as gently as she could- it still hurt. “Fuck.” I breathed out, “It hurts.”
Hayley sighed, “Come on then. We are going to the hospital but you need to be dressed.”
I frowned, “Dress me?”
She let out yet another sigh, “You’re hopeless.”
“I am.” I agreed, as she began dressing me.
It was awkward but it was sweet.
It was a memory that I would make sure to keep.
The ER was pretty busy, as expected. There were parents with crying children, and older couples who seemed confused. There were younger people but they all seemed drugged out- or maybe I was just judging them unfairly, probably not though.
Hayley and I had chosen a pretty crappy time to come out. It was a little after five in the morning. We obviously hadn’t gotten much sleep at all. The motel room made things seem different though. We seemed safe there, even from time.
“You okay?” Hayley asked, leaning close to me.
I was going to respond but then, “Brendon Urie?” I stood up.
“Please stay and wait for me.” I muttered the pathetic words before leaving Hayley out in the waiting room. I could only pray that she would wait for me.
“All better.” I smiled at Hayley. She was nearly asleep on the chair in the waiting room. She blinked up sleepily.
“You have- a cast!” She barely got the words out.
“I only have to wear it for three weeks.” I assured her. “And they gave me some pain pills so you’re going to have to drive.”
Hayley smiled, “For the next three weeks?”
I nodded, “Looks like you’re going to have to stay around to take care of me.”
“Looks like.” Hayley agreed, much to my surprise.
The truck seemed forever away and I was starting to get tired again. “We aren’t going back to that shit hole, are we?” I didn’t want to. It was like the walls were going to cave in on us there. I wanted to be somewhere beautiful with Hayley- somewhere worthy of her.
Hayley shrugged, “Where would you prefer to go?” Then she groaned, “They are so going to bill my debit card with the cost for the damage. I’m screwed.”
“I’ll pay for it.”
She gazed at me, “You will?”
“I’m the idiot that punched the hole, and puked everywhere. I’ll call them once we get to my hotel room. You’re okay staying there, right?”
“You make a good point.” Hayley grinned, “Sure. I don’t remember how to get there though.”
I gave her directions, resting my hand on her thigh.
I could clearly remember the night we’d shared in her truck.
It still smelled like sex.
It still smelled like us.
“I’m going to call the motel babe, do you have their number?” I walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist. It really sucked showering with a cast on. I felt clean now, something that had evaporated the moment my fist went through the motel room wall.
“Uh, yeah.” Hayley grabbed her purse off of the bedside table. After a few seconds in which I watched her closely she pulled a card out and handed it to me. “There is the card for the motel.”
I grinned, knowing she had an obsession with collecting cards everywhere she went.
“I need to call Amy so I’m just going to step outside, okay?”
I nodded, punching the number in to my cell phone. She headed towards the door and I caught her attention and handed her the card to get back in the motel room.
The phone rang and then I was patched through to the receptionist.
(Third Person POV)
Hayley took a deep breath and let her cell phone connect her to Amy. She had some explaining to do… and a lack of words for the event. Sleep still made her vision fuzzy and the world seemed alive with light, as usual. This time it was too bright though, and it illuminated her confusion regarding everything that was happening.
All she now knew was that she couldn’t leave Brendon.
Not if that meant she risked his life in the process.
He was her best friend first, and best friend didn’t walk away when they were needed. “Hayley! Where the hell are you?” Amy’s voice was high pitched.
“I’m with Brendon.” Hayley waited for the shriek and it came quickly.
“Again? Explain! Damn it, you’re so fucking confusing.” Amy seemed to be holding her breath as she suddenly went silent.
“I stumbled upon him last night.” Big lie, try again. Hayley shook her head as she tried to shake the thoughts that kept her in line. “After I went out looking for him. I was just worried about him. So then I found him pretty drunk and got him back to my motel room… and now we are at his motel room and… Do you know if the school has called my parents? Do you have the work I’ve missed? I will be back as soon as I can. I really need to play catch up.”
“You’ll have to play hard.” Amy answered, “But I talked to your mom the other day. I told her you were staying at my place and I doctored a note that I gave to the office. You’re pretty damn sick Hayley.” Hayley could hear her grinning.
“You’re a genius.”
“I know, I know. I’ve been forging your writing and turning in your work with mine but… you’ve been getting lower marks because I’m not you. I’m not an actual freaking genius, so you need to come back before someone figures it out.”
“I’m sorry.” Hayley sighed, “I just need to fix what I broke.”
“Romance really does turn people in to fortune cookies.” Amy commented.
Hayley smiled, “It does.”
“I’m worried about you Hales.” Amy’s tone conveyed the concern but Hayley didn’t know how to convince her that she was okay… when she wasn’t.
The motel room door closed loudly behind Hayley.
Brendon was lying on the bed, watching her intently. “The motel room is taken care of.” He finally spoke, breaking the silence.
Hayley moved away from the door hesitantly. “I need to head back home soon.”
“Today?” Brendon asked softly.
“Not today. We really need to talk.” Hayley responded. “I owe you that much.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” Brendon shook his head.
“Okay, you do.” Brendon agreed, “But I don’t want that to be the reason that you stay.”
“Why do you want me to stay then?”
“I want you to stay because you’re my best friend and I need you. I’m in a cast and that’s just the tip of my problems. I need you to stay Hayley, but more than that… I need you to want to stay.” Brendon breathed out deeply after his admission.
“I never expected to hurt you the way I did.” Hayley admitted, feeling the honesty sting the tip of her tongue as the words rushed out, “I didn’t think I had that kind of power.” She shook her head, laughing bitterly. “I don’t want that kind of power. I thought I was hurt. I thought if I stayed that you’d hurt me more. Your emails and phone calls were all I had Brendon. They were everything that kept me sane… but they were just words- and words I can do. When you’re here… I’m on display in a way I’ve never been before. You can see me for who I am, and I’m not much of a person at all. I was so afraid you’d see that so I tried hiding, and I tried running… but I can’t hurt you in the process of saving myself. I never wanted to do that.”
Brendon’s eyes widened as he listened to the words, replaying them in his mind. “So, it’s not because of who I am?”
Hayley shook her head, “It had nothing to do with you. It sounds so stupid to say it’s not you, it’s me but… this time it really was. It really was me Brendon; it wasn’t you.”
“Shit.” Brendon sat up, running his fingers through his hair.
They each went silent once again.
Finally Brendon spoke, “I always thought you were smart Hayley.” Hayley looked at him, eyes narrowing in confusion. “But you’re really fucking stupid.”
The words hurt and Hayley nodded, feeling crushed.
Brendon stood up as she stayed frozen in place.
Once Brendon reached Hayley he spoke again and she winced at the words he spoke, “You’re really fucking stupid-“ He leaned down, crushing his lips to hers.
Hayley was caught off guard and stumbled but Brendon’s arms wrapped around her waist, holding her in place. When he pulled away all she could do was stare as he continued speaking, “You’re really fucking stupid if you thought I’d leave after seeing you for who you are. Seeing you just brought all of your words to life. It just made me care so much more for you. I already knew who you are. I’ve always known you Hayley, and you’ve always known me… Ever since our original greeting we’ve had each other, and I don’t want to let go and I won’t let what we have go because you’re afraid.”
“You’re a hopeless romantic.” Hayley whispered, staring at Brendon with surprise.
“I am.” Brendon replied, “It wouldn’t be so hopeless if you just gave in though.”
“What would that make me though?” Hayley asked.
“My girlfriend.” Brendon answered.
Hayley’s lips parted but no words fell out as ultimate surprise struck her silent.
Brendon’s proposal hung in the air between them.