"Guess I forgot to take my meds, too."
"Don't hurt me." He squealed, crying, stepping back. Gerard breathed in deeply, watching Frank with horror for a moment, before dropping to his knees. He hated himself. He reached out for his brother, taking his now broken, fragile body in his arms. Mikey's eyes flickered a little, his fingers reaching out for Gerard's cheeks. He groaned in pain. The pedestrian knelt beside them, but didn’t interfere. He tried at first, tried to pull Mikey away from him, but Gerard simply hissed and held onto him.
"It's okay, Gee, It's okay, calm down." Mikey choked, blinking furiously, his glasses smashed on the floor beside him. The pain in his side was blinding, along with the sharp pain in his jaw. He knew his head was bleeding but he was so – drowsy, he couldn’t care less. Frank sat on the bench, out of the way, shaking, sobbing. He just wanted someone to hold him. He wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his small frame. Gerard watched Frank from afar, still tending to his little brother.
"Guess I forgot to take my meds, too." He whispered, quietly, running his hands over Mikey’s bruising cheeks. Mikey sniffled through the blood and bruising, which had settled on his face. His facial expression was calm, woozy- he winced in pain.
“You’ve got to let go of him.” The pedestrian reminded. Gerard glared up at him, before refocusing his gaze on Mikey. He was shaking through the pain, his lips trembling and his eyes welling up. His breathing was uneven and shaky.
"You’ve hurt me worse than this.” Mikey whispered quietly, his hands grazing Gerard’s cheek. “I forgive you. I love you.” He cooed, quietly, shaking his head in pain.
“God, I don’t deserve it.” Gerard cried, pressing his forehead into his younger brother’s chest. “I’m so awful, and you’re so good to me.” He pressed. Mikey nodded, wriggling slightly on the uncomfortable, icy ground. Gerard entwined their fingers together, their hands shaking.
“I understand, you.” Mikey gazed, groaning, the pain taking a toll on him. “But damn, I wish we had some medication,” He whimpered, tears dripping from his eyes.
“I didn’t.. I just lost it.. I didn’t want you to come because I didn’t want this to happen.” He mumbled, crying. Mikey nodded, squeezing his brother’s hand.
“I know.” Mikey said, quietly. “You’ve got to go see Frank." Mikey whimpered softly, glancing in whatever direction he thought Frank could be. He was practically blind without his glasses.
"Mikey." Gerard paused, gazing down at him. "You're lied on the floor, bleeding. I can't just - leave you." Gerard cried, feeling incredibly ashamed. He knew if they had followed him then someone was going to get hurt. He just didn’t know when. Mikey shook his head softly.
"Yeah you can." He pressed. “Just.. I don’t know, put me on that bench, I’ll sit with uh, this guy.” He mumbled, attempting to get to his feet. He groaned, and fell back. Frank hugged himself tighter as he watched, sobbing, confused and scared. Gerard lifted Mikey into his arms, disregarding the blood which soaked off of Mikey and onto Gerard, and carried him over to a nearby bench, laying him down. The random pedestrian sat beside him, feeling for pulses, brushing his forehead for his temperature. Mikey didn’t particularly like it but he was getting to weak to bother putting up a fight. Gerard leant in to Mikey and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.
"I'll be right back, okay? I'll check you over, make sure you’re alright at the hotel." He pushed his finger against his lips, and Mikey mirrored him, feebly. They shared in the moment for a little longer before Gerard nodded and made his way over to Frank, cautiously. He didn’t want to scare him. He was surprised Frank hadn’t already run away in fear of his life. Frank looked up, his arms wrapped around himself, he smiled weakly and sadly at the sight of Gerard.
"I'm scared and confused and I just don't know what to do..." Frank cried again, sniffing. He hunched up his legs and stuffed his nose between them. Gerard sat awkwardly beside him.
"I just tried to kill my brother.” He replied, quietly. Frank glanced, though he didn’t seem too frightened, to Gerard’s surprise. He actually found it a little upsetting, that Frank didn’t even seem to care about Mikey, who could be incredibly hurt right now.
"I can see that." Frank looked at him, his eyes begging for a hug.
"I don't want to kill you, Frank." Gerard stared absently into the road. He knew what Frank wanted, but there was always the chance he could lash out again.
"Thanks, I wouldn't really want my boyfriend to kill me." He frowned, leaning his head on Gerard's shoulder. He wasn’t taking this very literally and it annoyed Gerard – he was physically frightened for Frank’s life, he knew what he was capable of and Frank just ignored him.
"I'm serious." Gerard replied, his facial expression baron. "I could do it, you know. You’ve seen me.”
"Please, don't." Frank sighed. "I just want us to cuddle and watch shitty TV back home again."
"You don’t get it, do you?” Gerard sighed, flatly. “I wish it were that easy." Gerard exhaled, pushing an arm around Frank. "But I had forgotten. For so long. That wasn't me back then.. Just a chemical drugged teen. Who can't stop himself once he's started." He said, ashamedly, glancing to Mikey.
"I know. But it will get better, just trust me, okay? I don't care how many flaws, conditions, and trauma you've got up there. I still love you." He sighed, looking up at Gerard, kissing his nose.
"I know you do. And I know, that you always will." Gerard replied, tossing his head from side to side in a slightly sarcastic manner. "I need my meds. I need to get Mikey his meds too."
"Okay, oh yeah, sorry about that early phone call. I couldn't sleep and I just got so worried." Frank sighed, smiling slightly, but sadly. "I also understand if you don't want to come home.. And thanks for not telling us to piss off." Frank smiled, looking up at Gerard. He knew he was troubled, but he didn't care. He sighed, keeping his knees to his chest as he spoke softly.
"It's alright." Gerard replied, softly. "You understand, why I didn't want you here now, don't you?" He held his face in his palms, digging his fingertips into his scalp.
"Gee, I would rather be here with you, with you hating me, than me be at home, with you here, still loving me. I get so worried." He sighed, looking at his knees, his hands shaking slightly.
"I don't hate you!" Gerard hissed, shaking his head, calming himself down. "Stop assuming that and listen to me!” He roared, pressing his hands against the bench, furiously. “But look what I did to Mikey. This - this is who I am. Destructive. I don't want to beat you until you're bleeding, like him. I just didn't want you to get hurt. I did warn you." Gerard sniffed, trying to find Mikey with his eyes through the darkness.
"You won't hit me, I know you wouldn't." He sighed, sobbing slightly. "Mikey will be fine, we have all been hurt from one time to another."
"Try me." Gerard pushed, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I've hurt him worse, you know. Way worse. If I lash out on my brother, I’ll lash out on you."
"Gee, you're sounding like you're threatening to hit me." Frank looked up, "I've hurt myself more than anyone ever could. Mikey will survive." He gulped.
"I'm not!" He whined, erupting into sobs, standing up. "I know he'll survive! Alright? I /know!/" He yelled, attracting attention. "I've punched and kicked him, hurt that poor little boy until he couldn't breathe anymore, and they stabbed needles in me until I couldn't either, and he’s still alive! I'm just frightened that I'll do the same to you, and never see you again! I can't fucking think straight, telling me he's going to be fine doesn't make me feel any better!" He screamed, holding into his temples. He shook his head and fell back down to his knees, crawling absently. Frank sighed, opening his arms.
"Gee, get your ass back here, please." He was dying inside to hold him and tell him everything will get better.
"Don't you fucking get it?" He hissed, pushing his forehead against the cold, icy sidewalk. "I can't help you right now! I want to, but unless you haven't noticed, I'm not really capable, because I just tried to kill my own fucking brother!" He sobbed, punching the floor.
"You punched him, you didn't try to fucking murder him!" Frank started to cry, hugging himself again. "I just want everything to be okay again." He spoke softly, crying into his knees.
"I kicked him. I slammed his head against the pavement. He's not fucking dying, but if you hadn't dragged me away, he would be." He huffed, breathing deeply through his mouth, begging for medication. "I want every thing to be okay again, but you're not.. You gotta help me get back there!" He yelled, his throat giving out. He curled up in a fetal position on the icy ground. "I might be older, Frank." He whispered, quietly. "But I can't look after you anymore."
Frank knelled beside him, stroking his hair, playing with it.
"Then I'll look after you." He smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Gerard, pulling him close to his chest, "You've looked after me, it's just my turn now." Gerard groaned, sobbing quietly.
"We've gotta leave." He said, paranoid. "We gotta go."
"Explain, if you can." He sighed, holding him close, rocking back and forth slightly, "Where do we need to go?"
"Away from Clinton." He sat up, crawling from Frank's grip. "Newark. Even further from Belleville. Almost out of New Jersey. Away from November Juliet. Don't wanna come back." He mumbled, pushing himself up. Frank took his hand.
"Any ideas? New York? Or is that to big?" He asked, softly, looking at Gerard, smiling slightly.
"Newark." He nodded. "November Yankee is a no. Too many people. I'll lose Mikey."
"Oh, I think I understand." He smiled, standing up, helping Gerard. "Do you want to go now?"
"You need to go back and get Mikey's medicine from your hotel room and check out. I'll take Mikey to mine, but I won't really be able to do much until you get over to my hotel with the medicine. Mikey always has the right things in that box of his." He looked worriedly to Mikey, who still resided on the bench, panting softly through the pain and bleeding, now alone.
"Okay, I'll be as quick as I can, okay?" He kissed Gerard's cheek, running to the hotel, checking in, going up to his room, and looking around the bedroom.
Gerard picked up Mikey's broken frame in his arms, supporting his head carefully and holding his hand through the bleeding. He removed his jacket and held it to the back of Mikey's head, stopping the bleeding, if only just. Mikey was drowsy - awake, but very unresponsive, as he lay on the thin motel mattress.
Frank grabbed a box, marked 'MIKEY!', running to the other hotel, knocking on Gerard's door, still slightly jittery from running so much.
"Come in," Gerard said quietly, still crying softly as he knelt beside his brother, clutching his hand. "Did you bring our medicine?" He asked, hopefully. Frank nodded, handing the bag over to Gerard, knelling beside Mikey, close to the older boy as he panted, out of breath.
hope you're all still enjoying this c: