Chapter 2: It Makes It So Hard Not To Cry
I had no idea why these things were happening to me. I would never wish them upon anyone else, not at all. But why me? I never really believed in karma before now but what had I done to deserve this?
I faintly opened my eyes and Gerard rushed to my side, clutching my hand tightly in his. "Hey Mikes." He said breathlessly, smiling sweetly at me. I groaned and looked around, instantly realizing where I was. A hospital room. Very cheerful, great. But why? Why was I here? Out of all of the places in the world, why here? Why now?
"W-Why am I here?" I asked quietly, it sounded much more faint and weak than I intended it to and I mentally cursed at myself for putting myself forwards as weak. I wasn't weak...Was I? I turned to the heart monitor that was beside me and I squinted without my glasses on, frowning. Whatever it was saying wasn't good, I wasn't exactly the best scientist in the world but the slow beeping would be a bad sign to anyone. A sign that told you to run, before something hurt you like a truck and it would never go back to the way that it was before.
"You blacked out?" Gerard said it as if it was a question, clearly wanting to know whether I could remember anything and I went through all of the thoughts that I could remember and nothing about passing out came to mind. The only thing that I could remember was waking up and drinking coffee...Why would I remember anything else? Why should I remember anything else anymore? What was the point? What was the point in anything!?!? God I just wanted to scream it out at the top of my lungs, just scream it out to everyone just to let one God damn person know the truth about me, because not one person did anymore. I was so done, so fucking done with everyone, with everything.
Gerard was suddenly shaking me furiously on the bed and my eyes shot open and he gasped when I came back to reality. "Shit, Mikey! STOP IT!" He shouted, tears forming behind his eyelids that looked like they were about to spill at any moment. It seemed like someone had just shot a panda bear right in front of him, instead it was because I shut my eyes for a mere few seconds.
"Wh....whut?" I murmured barely even audible, all of a sudden nurses were running in, checking the monitors and it was then that I realised that the heart monitor was going through the roof. Not literally. But it was beating a mile a minute and I turned to Gerard with terrified eyes. "Make it stop, make it stop!!" I screamed at him, feeling my heart pounding against my chest so hard that it was painful. I screamed out in pain, tears streaming down my face and a few minutes of the agonizing pain my head rolled to look at Gerard and I stared at him for a few seconds.
"Mikes..." Was the last thing I heard before my heart stopped beating entirely and everything that had mattered before didn't, nothing mattered, not anymore. Nothing...
I didn't think that anything could be worse than seeing my little brother laying in a hospital bed battling for his life. But this? This was monstrous. Horrific. No one deserved this, especially not Mikey. Not him...God, why didn't I pay more attention to him when I noticed that things were getting bad? Why didn't I just open up my eyes a little wider and just see what was happening under my nose!? Why!? Oh that's right, it's because I'm the worst brother in the world. I always have been, I just didn't realize it until now.
Frank tried to help me up from my permanent state of horror on the floor but it just wasn't working, it wouldn't ever work. It felt like there wasn't a way that I would ever be able to get out of this permanent spiral of hate and self-destruction. It was my fault that this was happening ot him, I pushed him too far, I always pushed him too far.
Frank held me closely into his chest, hushing me but nothing would calm me. I pushed away from him and jumped up to Mikey on the bed, shaking him impatiently. "M-Mikey..." I cried, my face was soaking due to tears and so was Frank's shirt. Frank was never really one to cry but right now he had a few tears running down his face.
"Gerard...I....I don't want to tell you this..." Frank said quietly, barely even able to speak himself. I continued to shake Mikey.
"You're not dead, you're not dead! No! You're not! What about me, Mikey!? What about all of those things that you said that you would do!? That we were going to do together! But none of that matters any more! None!!" I screamed at him and by now all of the nurses had run out of the room due to fear, trying to get others to come in and hold me down by the looks of things. I wasn't having any of it. I turned to Frank and shook him too, grabbing his shoulders hard in mine.
"You trust me, r-right?" I asked, not even trusting myself right now, especially not in the state that I was in.
Frank started to shake his head but he nodded, "I trust you." He said quietly back to me and I ran to the door and shoved something in front of it, making sure that nobody could get in. We were on the bottom floor so my crazy-wacky plan should work. However most of my plans didn't work...But here we go anyway.
I had Frank and that was all I needed right now.
The nurses had already took out his needles and IV's, so I threw him over my shoulder, shuddering at the fact that he was so lifeless. I gestured for Frank to open the window and he did so, climbing out first and waiting for me. I shifted Mikey so he was laying in my arms, so that when we got outside it was like he was sleeping, or that was what I was hoping anyway. We wouldn't be out in public for long, New Jersey was hardly a place where dead bodies were a new thing.
I climbed out of the window, manouvering Mikey so that he would fit, he was only slightly taller than me but his legs were much longer. I brushed the back of my hand over his cheek. Frank called a cab and I hoped he had money.
The journey back to mine and Mikey's apartment wasn't long, just under ten minutes and each second was agonizing. I just clutched him to my chest, combing my hands through his mousy brown hair that was just starting to grow over his eyes. A whimper escaped my mouth when I thought about the fact that his hair was never going to grow again, that he would never wake up in my arms again. That there was never going to be a single spark of life left in him.
Frank helped me to carry Mikey into the apartment after he payed the driver who gave us a concerned look at my state. I shoved my way through the door, carrying Mikey into my bedroom, laying him down on my bed as more tears fell down my face, just more and more and more tears. It seemed like they would never stop...
Frank walked up behind me and he wrapped his arms around my waist and stomach, pulling me off the bed and jeez, he was short, but he was stronger than me. I let him drag me out of the room. He slammed the door shut and dragged me into the living room, leading me to the couch and he sat me down before cradling me in his arms, holding me close to his chest as I sobbed my heart out, not even breathing that well anymore as more sobs and coughs came out from me.
* Okay by this point I'm nearly crying myself...
There was no way that I could explain this. No words to even start a sentence to try to explain what was happening to me. It was like I had fallen asleep, only I hadn't. I had...Died. I was dead. Yet my eyes were struggling to open, the dim light from the windows making my eyes sting and instantly become irritated. I found myself sitting up slowly and running a hand through my hair, wait, my hair was wet before wasn't it? Slightly wet at least. Now it was dry and it was like I had only just washed it.
I held my hands out and they were a lot paler than normal, I ran my fingertips over my face and realized that my jawline was now more prominent and I swear that my lips weren't as soft as they were now, before. I took a deep breath and went to Gerard's mirror across the room, gasping when I saw myself. I was a shade lighter than I was before and I clasped my hands over my mouth when I added everything together.
My skin tone, my slightly cooler temperature, coming back to life...
It was as if all of Gerard's fantasies were coming to life...
I was a vampire.