FicWad

A/N: Don't hate me...but you will so freaking confused by the end of this chapter. And that's okay. You are supposed to be. Also I was in tears when I wrote the ending of this. SO MUCH FUQING EMOTIONAL SHIT AT THE BOTTOM. FAIR WARNING.

Disclaimer: This story was supposed to be a solution to the sasunaru-have-baby-but-no-mpreg problem, now its an emotional rollercoaster for the author. (don't own lyrics)

So About Last Night...

Naruto opened his eyes and squinted as the light burn his irises. He groaned and turned onto his side. His body automatically moved closer to the warmth that was on the other side of the bed. He snuggled up to mass and sighed pleasantly.

One of his eyes opened. He stared for a good five minutes at the dark hair on the other pillow. Naruto's fingers weaved themselves through the soft dark locks. "Why is Menma's hair always so fucking soft," he muttered before falling back asleep.

Naruto woke up later and found Menma missing from the bed. The blond groaned while stretching out his limbs. He slowly got up, threw on a t-shirt and walked out of the bedroom.

"Oi! You up ki-," Naruto choked on his words at the sight before him. He gawked from the hallway at his boss who was wearing his clothes while eating toast in the kitchen.

"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" Naruto blurted without thinking.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at him. He swallowed the bite of toast he was chewing before replying. "This," he gestured to the room, "is not a house." The raven leaned up against the island counter. "Hell, it's not even an apartment," he scoffed. "It's a shed."

"Well no one asked you to live here!" Naruto snapped as he sauntered into the kitchen. He grabbed a pot from one of the lower cupboards and filled it with water. Naruto looked up from what he was doing and glared at the bastard. "You didn't answer my question, Bastard."

Sasuke just shrugged. "I woke up here."

Naruto paused at that. He looked at the raven funny. "We...We didn't do anything, right?" He asked hesitantly.

"When I woke up we both still had our boxers on." Naruto raised an eyebrow at the raven as if to say, "what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"So, unless our drunk asses decided to clean up and put our clothes back on, that's a 'no.'" Sasuke clarified. Naruto nodded and turned off the faucet. He placed the pot on the burner and left it to heat up.

Naruto walked over to the window and paused. "Um…" He tried to make sense of what he was seeing. "There is a man in your car, asshole," the blond stated.

"There better be," Sasuke snorted, moving to stand by the blond at the window.

Naruto's brow furrowed at that comment. "Didn't you drive us here?" he asked, confused.

Sasuke shook his head. "I had my driver take us here. I was a little buzzed at the time."

Naruto slowly nodded his head, as if he understood.

"Tch," the raven grunted and rolled his eyes at the blond. "What do you remember from last night?" he asked after a brief silence stretched between the two.

Naruto frowned at the question. "My name wasn't on the list, then I started pole dancing…."

He ruffled both his hands through his hair as he tried to think. "Ugh! I can't think with this headache!" he yelled with frustration. The pounding was slim when he first woke up that he didn't even notice it until the bastard asked him to recall last night's events.

Sasuke suddenly appeared on his left, holding two pills and orange juice. "When did you get this?" Naruto asked taking the pills from the raven.

"While you were having," Sasuke gestured to all of Naruto, "your episode."

Naruto took the pain meds and swallowed them. He drank the juice while staring at the raven.

"Remember anything else?" the raven interrogated. Naruto narrowed his eyes at his boss for split second. He was trying to get the blond to spill about something. The question was...what?

"Things get fuzzy after that. I remember throwing up in the bathroom and you helping me walk up the steps to my apartment," Naruto answered truthfully. "Sorry, I mean, 'shed,'" he mocked the raven with a grin.

Sasuke snorted at his snide remark. "That's all?" he questioned again.

"Yep!" Naruto lied with a smile. He did remember making out with his boss in his bedroom. The raven must have been fishing for that tidbit that happened last night. As long as Naruto refused to acknowledge it he could probably keep his personal promise of keeping his work and private life separate.

"Hn." The raven went silent after that.

"Shit," Naruto muttered noticing the pot was already boiling. He pushed himself past Sasuke and headed back into the kitchen. He grabbed a cup of instant ramen of his stash and poured his hot water into it.

"That can't be healthy," Sasuke commented. Naruto shot a glare at the jerk sitting at his island table.

"This happens to be the best damn ramen in the world, asshole." The blond covered the lid of the cup and glared the raven down. "And I'll eat it when I want to eat it," Naruto said, sticking his tongue out at the Uchiha.

"Wow, so mature," Sasuke taunted, taking another bite out of his toast.

Naruto grinned at the raven as though he just received a compliment. He opened up a drawer and grabbed a pair of chopsticks. The blond grabbed his ramen and sat on stool next to Sasuke.

Sasuke watched as Naruto took a pitch of noodles and shove them in his mouth. Cerulean eyes stared back at him.

"Can I help you?" Naruto asked, his mouth full of noodles.

"How do you do that?" Sasuke inquired. Naruto gave him a blank look.

"Uhh…"

The raven rolled his eyes and let out an irritated sigh. "Use the chopsticks, you dumbass," Sasuke exasperated.

"Oh…" Naruto turned on his stool and offered the sticks to the raven. The bastard just gave him a skeptical look. Naruto rolled his eyes. "If you want to learn how, this is how you do it."

"Tch," Sasuke grunted and put his half eaten toast on the counter. He grabbed the chopsticks from the blond. He sat there and waited for the blond's instructions.

Naruto laughed at the raven. He received a glare from his boss instantaneously.

"You don't hold like that," Naruto chuckled, grabbing the pale fingers and readjusting them so they weren't a fist around the sticks. "You want to hold them like a pencil."

Sasuke's hand held the chopsticks as Naruto had placed them. It looked awkward and probably felt awkward to the raven.

"Here," Naruto said as he got up and grabbed another pair of chopsticks. "Like this." He showed the raven his hand and how he held the sticks.

Naruto wanted to chuckle at the concentrated expression on his boss's face. "Fuck it," Sasuke glowered, dropping the chopsticks.

"What!? But you almost had it!" Naruto pouted. Sasuke stood up and headed for the door.

"Yeah, well, I have to get to the office," Sasuke snipped, opening the door. The raven winced as the door creaked open. Naruto winced as well, knowing full well the Uchiha was displeased with his living quarters.

Naruto watched as the raven whipped out his smartphone and called someone. The moment the phone quit ringing, the Uchiha was speaking.

"Transfer twenty-five thousand dollars into Naruto Uzumaki's bank account," Sasuke said. Naruto gaped at the raven. "Also have a laptop shipped to his shed-, I mean, apartment," he smirked at the stunned blond, "along with a Sony 32" flat screen."

Sasuke slid his finger over the screen as he ended the call.

"What the absolute fuck, Sasuke?!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke shrugged. "Think of it as a small investment. I'm giving you money so that you can improve your lifestyle, thereby improving your work ethic." Sasuke smirked again. "Can't have my personal assistant living in a dump."

"Okay, but I don't need a flat screen or that much money," Naruto argued back. The raven frowned at the blond.

"That thing," Sasuke pointed at the old tv, "is a box. I couldn't even find a channel on there that wasn't staticy."

Naruto opened his mouth only to be silenced by the Uchiha. "Your couch has springs in it that look like they are about to burst through the fabric and your toilet, I swear to fucking Christ, gurgled at me as I was taking a piss earlier."

Naruto couldn't argue with that. It freaked him out the first time he went to the bathroom after he had gotten the place.

"I expect you to have a new address or this place to liveable the next time I drop by," Sasuke clipped as he walked out the door. Naruto sat on his stool as he processed the raven's words.

"Next time…?" Naruto's cerulean eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He practically scrambled to the door to catch the raven before he left.

"What do you mean 'next time', bastard!?" Naruto shouted from the top of the stairs as Sasuke walked off the last step.

Sasuke turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Exactly what 'next time' means, moron."

Naruto huffed and blushed slightly. Not that he really had a problem with seeing Sasuke again outside of business…

Naruto's eyes widened as he remembered something crucial. "SHIT!" he shouted as he recalled he had left Menma with Tenten last night and she normally gave him back around ten o'clock…

"What?" Sasuke asked, concerned.

"Uh, I..er...forgot to turn the stove off!" Naruto hollered as he ran back into his apartment, leaving the Uchiha completely confused.

The blond glanced at the clock and gasped. 9:52 a.m.

"Did you need me at the office too?" Naruto stammered, coming back out into the entryway of the complex.

He could easily get the raven to leave quicker if he went with him. Tenten had a spare and she could leave Menma in front of the tv until he got back. Surely his boss wouldn't need to be a the office all day on a Saturday.

"Normally I would say yes, but since you've got a hangover, I wouldn't want your Lame-ass screwing up critical documents," Sasuke justified with a smirk.

"Oh YEAH?! Well you can…!" Naruto let out a groan as his head throbbed. "Ugh, fuck me," he grunted in pain, pressing his palm to his forehead.

Sasuke mumbled something as he groaned. "What was that?" Naruto hollered.

"Go lay down, dumbass!" Sasuke scolded as he left. Naruto slouched against the railing.

"Jesus, what were in those shots?" he grumbled as his head continued to pound. Not even a minute later the door to the building opened and a small person came running up to him.

"DADDY!" Menma shouted as he latched himself to the blond's thighs.

"Hey, kiddo!" Naruto grinned through his pain and ruffled the boy's soft spiky raven hair. "Huh, kind of like Sasuke's," he said absentmindedly as he felt his son's hair.

"What? I don't even get a 'thank you' for taking care of your child, Naruto?" came a familiar voice. Naruto's face lit up as he saw Tenten. "He should be 'our' kid after all the sleepovers he's had with me," she teased.

"Tenten!" Naruto walked down the steps with a child clinging to his leg and hugged the brunette. "It's been way too long, girly," he laughed.

"Oh pft!" Tenten giggled. "You were so much more girlier than me, don't even lie, Naruto." Naruto rolled his cerulean eyes at her.

"Says the one who still does her hair every day," Naruto said, pointing at her two buns in her hair.

Tenten laughed and picked Menma up off his daddy's leg. "This little guy would not stop talking about 'shushi.' Since when did you start eating seafood, Naruto?"

"A coworker of mine wanted some for lunch and Menma just so happened to be with me," Naruto said, giving Menma a kiss on the cheek.

"Stop it, daddy!" Menma said, trying to rub off what remained of his daddy's lips off his cheek. Naruto just laughed at the kid's response. "Now can tell him?" Menma asked, looking to Tenten.

Tenten smiled, but shook her head. "Maybe later? I still want to talk to Naruto about his new job," the brunette tried to reason with the preschooler, but Menma shook his head.

"No! I want to tell Daddy, now!" Menma persisted. Naruto looked at the brunette and child, anixously.

"Tell me what?" he asked, slightly frightened yet excited. Tenten smiled at the blond.

"I'm pregnant," she said softly. Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Oh my God, you're serious?!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Tenten laughed as Naruto picked both her and Menma off the ground in a big hug.

"YES! FU-, I MEAN HEL-, SH-," Naruto stopped altogether and laughed. He couldn't express how happy he was without cursing and Menma was in the room…

"I'm so happy for you," Naruto finally said, his eyes starting to get watery.

"Naruto, are you crying?" Tenten asked, surprised, but happy.

"What? NO! Guys don't cry, what the heck are you talking about?" Naruto laughed as he wiped his eyes.

"Aunt Tensy! You said I could tell Daddy!" Menma pouted. The spiky raven haired boy's lip hung out as he wallowed in his own self-pity.

"Okay, then why don't you tell your Daddy the other big news?" she cooed. Menma's face lit up and he turned his attention solely to the blond.

"They're gonna be twinz!" Menma squealed. Naruto's eyes widened and Tenten panicked slightly.

"There is a slight chance they will be twins. Like five percent chance," Tenten clarified.

"Neji knows about this, right?" Naruto asked.

"Of course!" Tenten shook her head at the blond. "He was the first to know, you idiot. That's how these things work," she scolded.

Naruto laughed, "Yeah, well I'm not really educated in that field. You want to come in?" He opened the door to his shed-, damn it, apartment!

"Can't," Tenten said, setting Menma on the ground. "Neji is taking me on a business trip to Kumo. I have to leave right now or he's going to fret about missing our flight." She gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you when we land!" Tenten called as she left the complex.

Naruto waved as she left. Menma tugged on his boxers. "Daddy, why do we live in a shed?"

A blood vessel nearly popped on the blond's forehead.

"Oh YEAH?! Well you can…!" Naruto let out a groan as his head throbbed. "Ugh, fuck me," he grunted in pain, pressing his palm to his forehead.

"With pleasure," Sasuke mumbled as the idiot groaned.

"What was that?" Naruto hollered.

"Go lay down, dumbass!" Sasuke scolded the hungover blond as he left. The moment he took his first step outside he was assaulted by the cold November wind. "Jesus!" he cursed as he walked to his car.

The raven got into the vehicle and slammed the door shut. "Office," he snapped. Zabuza nodded and shifted the corvette into drive. Sasuke's phone buzzed and he grumbled as he answered it. "What?"

"Good Morning to you too, little brother," Itachi's voice greeted his ears.

"What do you want, Itachi?" Sasuke sighed, his headache coming back dully. That waitress at the club must have spiked their drinks or something. Normally it took the raven three shots to feel a buzz and four to get somewhat drunk. She must have wanted to get Shikamaru alone, so she added something to their drinks-

"How's your headache?" Sasuke's obsidian eyes widened slightly.

"Damn it, Itachi, what did you do?" the raven groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"A little birdie told me you were going out for once, so I had to make sure things went smoothly," Itachi said calmly.

"What do you mean 'smoothly?'" Sasuke asked, irritated. Itachi always had to get into his personal business. It was one of his few flaws.

"I had a hunch you liked that Uzumaki kid. So I figured adding a little something to your drinks would get you to open up about your feelings." Sasuke cursed under his breath. "A few minutes later, and you two are making out on the dance floor. That would have taken you two months if I didn't get involved," Itachi chuckled.

"Fuck you too, Itachi," Sasuke retorted.

"Just returning the favor, little brother," Itachi replied swiftly before hanging up.

"Tch," Sasuke grunted in annoyance. Yes, he did set Itachi and Hana up. But that was because his brother was following her around like a lost puppy and it drove the raven nuts. Plus, Hana would get Itachi out of his...bad habit.

"Jokes on you Itachi, Naruto doesn't remember our little makeout session," Sasuke muttered. He could recall everything that happened up to entering the blond's apartment. That bit was fuzzy, probably because the moment he got there he ended up crashing.

Sasuke slid the open his phone and called Nara. "Yes?" came a groggy voice.

"Did you do what I asked you last night?" Sasuke asked. He heard shuffling on the other line.

"It was troublesome, but I did find something else on Naruto Uzumaki," Shikamaru yawned. Sasuke waited anxiously for the results. He had Nara do a background check on the blond after he first met. After last night, he made him look into the blond again, some things the idiot was saying didn't match up to what they found.

"Well?" Sasuke snapped.

"All his information was submitted by the Anbu. If I had to guess, I'd think Naruto was a former agent and would advise you to stop digging into this, Mr. Uchiha, sir."

That...was not what the Uchiha was expecting.

"I'll see you at work, Monday," he clipped, ending the call.

Was Naruto a former Anbu Black Ops agent? Sasuke's brow furrowed. That would explain the story he was spouting off about the other night. Nowhere in his records did the blond get a name change or ever work as a stripper.

"We're here, Mr. Uchiha," Zabuza announced. Sasuke looked up from his phone and found that they indeed were at the office. Perplexed, Sasuke exited the corvette and headed inside the building from the parking garage.

He stood in the back of the elevator, contemplating. There was no way Naruto was a former agent. The idiot was living in a rundown apartment building for Christ's sake!

The elevator dinged multiple times before it was the raven's floor. Didn't those people make millions of dollars in their line of business like Sasuke?

"Good Morning, Sasuke!" Sakura batted her eyelashes at the raven the moment he walked out of the metal doors with Zabuza behind him.

"Sakura, since when were you given permission to talk to me so formally?" Sasuke gritted out.

Damn it, did he hate that bitch's guts! He could tolerate her before, but after she had her hands all over his dumbass of PA he was completely fine with firing the bitch.

"Sorry, Mr. Uchiha. It was a slip of the tongue," she responded, her green eyes averting his glare.

Well shit, he hoped she would have flustered so he'd have a reason to fire her. Maybe once Naruto starts getting familiar with the way he works, he could fire Sakura and give Naruto her position.

Sasuke snorted to himself as he entered his office. He eyed the room before taking a seat at his desk. Come to think of it, Naruto would need a desk when he comes to help the raven with the Hyuuga contract along with the Sunagakure contract too.

"Kakashi should be back on duty at noon, inform Haku." Zabuza nodded and touched his earpiece. He spoke quietly in code then waited further commands. "Update Kakashi on all that has happened in the time he was off. Just because he wanted to switch his side job doesn't mean he's no longer your superior," Sasuke stated.

As Zabuza talked quietly on his earpiece, Sasuke's mind wandered.

Naruto was hiding something...and he wanted to find out what it was.

"Also get someone to put another desk in here. Right over there will do," Sasuke said, pointing briefly at the other end of the room. Zabuza nodded and left the raven to his work.

1 week later…

Naruto opened his first paycheck on the couch while Menma watched Ninja Pals on the flat screen tv. "Small investment my ass," Naruto muttered as he eyed the amount on the check.

Naruto went to work the day after Sasuke had left his place and came home to find a brand new laptop on his counter and his tv replaced by a flat screen.

The first day back at office was awkward. Naruto knew the raven remembered kissing him before he passed out. He tried his hardest to act oblivious, but with all the looks Sasuke kept giving him was making it extremely difficult!

Naruto had walked into the raven's office and froze. The bastard gave a fucking desk! He was planning on avoiding the asshole the whole day, but obviously the raven had different plans.

"Is there a problem, Uzumaki?" Sasuke asked, faking innocence.

"Nope, this is actually better! Now I don't have to keep running back n' forth all day!" Naruto faked enthusiasm. Yes this is a problem, you bastard!

Naruto gritted his teeth remembering the events that followed the next couple of days.

"What the fuck is this, Uzumaki?" Sasuke slammed the documents on the blond's desk.

"That is the proposal you asked for, Mr. Uchiha," Naruto gritted out through his fake smile.

"Really? Cause to me it looks like shit. Redo it and do it right this time," Sasuke snapped. Naruto clenched his fists and screamed mentally.

He didn't know how to do this shit! Yes, he took a course in it at college, but that didn't mean he was a pro! Naruto didn't turn the proposal in until the end of the day when he was sure there was nothing the raven could criticize.

Naruto was still pissed with the bastard's response when he turned it.

"Took you long enough, Lame-Ass," Sasuke had grumbled as he received the late document.

Naruto didn't believe there was a God until the week was over. He never wanted to see the Uchiha so stressed out because he became an absolute ass!

"What did you want for Christmas, Menma?" Naruto asked, eyeing the check. At least he got a pretty good deal out of the hell week.

"SH!" Menma shushed him. Naruto chuckled quietly as he realised he had spoken during the show. He stared at his son with a smile. Just to think Menma wouldn't be in his life if… Naruto froze. His heart rate started to pick up.

"M-Menma?" Naruto stammered his voice shaking. Menma turned his attention from the tv to his daddy. "Baby come to Mommy," Naruto whispered his throat developing a knot. The spiky raven haired boy scrambled off the ground and onto Naruto's lap.

The blond's tan fingers weaved themselves into the soft raven locks and Naruto pressed his child to his chest. Tears threatened to pour and he sniffled.

"Hitotsu, hito yori inemuri, Shukaku," Menma sang softly as he snuggled closer to his Daddy's chest. Naruto let out a hoarse laugh. Normally he would sing his mother's lullaby to Menma to comfort him, not the other way around. "Futatsu, faiya moete-ru, Matatabi," Menma whispered.

Naruto cleared his throat and joined in. "Mittsu, mizu nara makasero, Isobu. Yottsu, yogan atsui ze, Son Goku," they both sang softly. Naruto started rocking the preschooler, his breathing starting to even out.

"Itsutsu, itsudemo kake-ashi, Kokuo," Naruto's voice rumbled on the last note and Menma laughed as it tickled his ear. "Muttsu, muri sezu awatezu, Saiken. Nanatsu, nanafushi sora tobu, Chōmei."

"Yattsu, yappari-," Naruto sang as Menma shouted, "WHEE!," "-da ze, Gyūki!"

"Kokonotsu, kokon to saikyō, Kurama!" They shouted, laughing. "Dodo sorotta biju no nakama."

"Choi muzu da kedo ii namae," Naruto sang, picking up the laughing child and swinging him around. "Minna rippa-na namae da ne," He threw Menma up in the air and caught him.

"Minna suteki-na namae da ne," Naruto sang softly as the boy started to calm his laughter.

"I love you, my Menma," Naruto whispered and kissed the spiky raven haired boy on the forehead.

"Menma loves you too, Mommy," Menma kissed Naruto on his nose. Naruto sat them back on the couch and they snuggled and watched Ninja Pals.

"For Christmas," Menma started then went silent.

"Yeah, kiddo?" Naruto asked, playing his son's soft locks.

"I wants to meet my real daddy," Menma asked hesitantly. Silence, apart from the tv, stretched across through the apartment. "Not you Daddy, but my other-," Menma started to explained but was hushed by Naruto.

"It's okay baby, I know what you mean," Naruto whispered, pressing his head into the soft locks. Shit, he didn't think Menma would ask such a question so young. "Do your classmates have two parents?"

"Yes! I tell them that I have you and you are my Mommy and Daddy, but they don't believe me. They says Mommies and Daddies are two people, but I told them!" Menma huffed.

"Sh, baby, I know," Naruto whispered over the tv. Naruto watched the screen anxiously. "I would let you meet your real daddy, if I knew who he was," he lied.

He would never let Menma met him. Even if he knew who the man was, it would be over his dead body.

"Mommies and Daddies love each other, Konohamaru says," Menma said while playing with the drawstrings of his pajama bottoms.

"Most do," Naruto agreed.

"Did you love my real daddy?" Menma asked, nescient. Naruto stiffened at the question.

"No," Naruto choked. He quickly cleared his throat. "No, I didn't."

"Why not?" Menma looked up at his daddy with big cerulean eyes.

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, but closed it. This wasn't the time for this discussion. "Because he didn't buy me ramen first!" Naruto joked.

Menma sighed and rolled his eyes at the blond, reminding Naruto of a certain raven haired man. "Okay, enough questions for tonight. Time for bed!"

Menma groaned and slumped over on the couch. "But it's only seven thirty," he drawled.

"Santa only gives presents to good girls and boys who listen to their parents, so march!" Naruto commanded, standing up with his hands on his hips. Menma groaned loudly as he slid off the couch and crawled to his room. Naruto chuckled at the kid as he waited for the little rear to disappear behind the door.

Once the boy was in his room, Naruto whipped out his phone and dialed a well memorized number. The phone rang for a long while and Naruto started to mentally beg for him to pick up.

"Yamato Tenzo," a man's voice answered.

"Hey Yamato, it's Naruto," Naruto responded.

"Naruto? Why are you calling so late? Did you have another attack?" Yamato asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Naruto whispered. "Menma was with me so I was able to calm down relatively quickly."

"That's good, anything else happen? Did you want to squeeze in another session before your monthly visit?"

Naruto shook his head, "Nah, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes is all."

"Okay then, what's up?" his therapist asked.

"Menma just asked if he could meet his real daddy," Naruto whispered, his voice starting to shake.

"Oh.." Yamato said. "What did you tell him?"

"If I knew who he was I'd let him," Naruto gritted out.

"Did you mean that?"

"Fuck no! Why would I want that? I refuse to remember anything that happened five years ago!" Naruto shouted angrily.

"Are you sure? Have you ever lied to Menma before?" Yamato asked.

Naruto clenched his jaw. He hated it when Yamato did this psychological shit.

"No," the blond bit out.

"So why lie to him now?" Yamato inquired.

"Because I don't want him to get tangled up in that shit! I want him to be safe!" Tears started flow down his scarred cheeks.

"...are you crying, Naruto?"

"No," Naruto sniffled, wiping away the tears.

"Uh-huh. It's getting late, I was about to leave my office when you called. Did you want to continue this discussion tomorrow or wait till the twelfth?" Yamato asked.

"I'll wait," Naruto choked out.

"Okay...Tell Menma I said 'Hi,'" his therapist requested.

"Sure," Naruto grumbled. "Bye." He hung up before he could hear the other's response. Naruto turned around to find Menma standing behind him.

"H-Hey kiddo," Naruto stammered.

"Sing me the rest of the song?" Menma asked with his arms up. Naruto chuckled, shaking his head. He picked up the four-year old and carried him to his bedroom. "Hitotsu, hiddoi kuma da yo, Gaara. Futatsu, funyan to neko nade, Yugito."

"Mittsu, Mizukage Yondaime no, Yagura," Naruto sang as he placed his son on his bed and started to tuck him in. "Yottsu, yonjunen yonbi to, Roshi. Itsutsu, ikatsui pawa no, Ha -ah, ah- n," Menma laughed at the last name.

"Muttsu, mukuchi-na kinagashi, Utakata. Nanatsu, nagomasu kunoichi, Fuu," They both sang, Menma singing only a whisper. "Yattsu, yabai yo rappu no, Killer Bee," Naruto sang softer.

"Kokonotsu, Konoha no, Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto sang.

"That's you Daddy," Menma murmured before drifting off. Naruto nodded as he continued to hum softly. He hummed as he closed the door, leaving a crack open for light to come in. Naruto sang the remaining lyrics to himself as he sat on the couch.

"Totemo tsuyoi jinchūriki no minna, Bijū to naka-yoku nareru ka na," his voice faltered. "Minna rippa-na shinobi da ne. Minna suteki-na shinobi da ne," Naruto sniffled as tears threatened to pour again.

"They all have splendid names", he whispered hoarsely, "They all have fantastic names."

"I miss you so much, Mom and Dad," he cried, burying his head into his knees.

Okay Answers to your buttload of Questions

1. Naruto is not an agent

2. Naruto has no clue about Sasuke being daddyo (his face was hidden at the time)

3. Naruto's parents are dead (jiraiya being guardian should have made that obvious)

4. Itachi and Hana because they are the same age and were both ninja in the series

5. Why is Sasuke being an ass? Because he's stressed and pissed Naruto is hiding something from him

6. Ninja Pals because Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals is a cute cartoon for Menma to watch

7. Naruto was named after the character in the lullaby (for the fic's sake)

8. The chopsticks are going to be their cute thing if I just remember to work with it later

Are you less confused? No? Yeaaaah, neither am I...