FicWad

~Flashback~

'Lilly, get your fucking ass down here!'

Mommy is screaming at me! Why is she screaming at me?! Was I a bad girl at school today? Obviously.

This was when I realized that the kind and lovable mother I used to have was slowly morphing into a monster from the fiery pits of Hell, and that our relationship would never be the same...ever!

My body quivers and shakes; A thick sheet of sweat forms along my brow line. Mother waits in the kitchen, downing a bottle of vodka. I hold my hands close to my chest, scrunching my body as tightly as I could together. I looked like a cowering dog about to get whipped. Mother drunkenly storms toward me. I watch as the palm of her hand makes its way towards my cheek. The impact of her slap catches me off guard and I stagger backwards. Immediately after the palm of her hand makes contact with my flesh, she punches me in the stomach. I crumple to the floor.

~End Flashback~

I open my eyes. It was only a nightmare. Mother is not here. If she were, there'd be yelling; the clanking of glass. The thought makes me shudder. Mother got so angry with Dad that she threw a chipped dinner plate. It nearly was inlodged in Dad's throat.

I stare across the kitchen where I must have passed out. Made and Ryan left a few hours ago; school's tomarrow. The clock reads a quarter to midnight. I look about the kitchen in a daze. How am I going to continue on with my life when my Dad is on the verge of suicide? When my life has crumbled into a black hole? I don't think my friends can help me. It's wonderful that they love me, but can they actually change what has happened? No. No one can. Death feels like my only escape, but am I willing to end it? Eventually one of the two of us will end our lives. It will be me, not my Dad. He can't give his life away. A good man like him deserves to be happy, I'll just be his burden and weigh him down.

Thoughts of my suicide drift away into a cloud of fog. I hear footsteps descend from the darkness of the bedroom and into the living room. I bolt to my feet and turn my body toward the entrance of the kitchen. I wipe my eyes tiredly just as Joel enters. He smiles at me.

'Hey Lil.' he says softly.

'Hi.' I yawn. 'Is Dad alright? He told me earlier that he wanted to talk to me, but I kind of had some company.'

'Was it about your cheek?' he asks. I hesitantly nod my head.

'He'll talk to you about that tomarrow. But I need to know how you're doing.'

'Alright, I guess.' I shrug. But I was definately far from 'alright'. I was thinking of suicide for christ sakes!! Does that sound 'alright' to you?

'Lil, don't lie to me. You're not alright, you're miserable. Your dad has been bawling for hours.'

I look to the floor. It scary how Joel can read my mind like a book sometimes. I rub a hand over my eyes to stop the tears. I wish I could bawl like a baby again, I'd feel better, but I can't bring myself to do it.

'Hey, things will get better baby, I promise you.' Joel assures me. More like tries to assure me because I'm not assured at the moment.



Sorry it's been a long time. But hey, I updated, be happy people =).