Lola goes home with Patrick and has an interesting conversation with Pete.
(#) luckysgc921 2006-12-10 05:03:07 AMfirst off the title is from That Thing You Do. Best. Band. Movie. Ever.
secondly--amazing chapter. Pete really is an ass. I fully believe it. Its the main reason if I ever break into the business end of things I think I might refuse to work with FOB.
Poor Patrick, his smurf mug went poof. I also loved their DVD Collection and Joe's way of leaving notes (my mom does that to me a lot..)
Author's responseDING DING DING DING DING! Yep, it's from That Thing You Do. We are officially soulmates. :) I love how you hate Peter, it makes me smile for some reason. Since you're my first reviewer AND you got my little piece of trivia correct, I'll throw you in the story and you can...I don't know, kick Pete in the nuts or something. Sound good?
(#) whatkatydid 2006-12-10 09:27:35 AMFirstly, That Thing You Do , is the most amazing film ever and will, as stanrd procedure, always make me cry when Faye says those words. It is also a classic because of the following line: I.....am......Spartacus
Anyhoo, on with the review - Kyle, you are super amazing with icing sugar and hundreds and thousands on top. This was a great update. I love how Patrick is and always will be the underdog. He's just such faithful friend and you write that so well in this chapter.
Pete's character is so complicated and I totally respect you for being able to write it so well and realistically, not many pull it off but you do and you do it with class.
Take me to the next chapter please....holds out hand
Author's responsegently grasps hand Aw, how can I say no? I'm such a pushover. As always, thank you for the amazing review!
(#) kissxthexbullet 2006-12-10 10:46:46 AMWow.
I am completly speechless.
Wait...I just said wow?
This chapter + Pete = Bad, bad Pete.
Let's make babies.
Author's responseI must have tons of illegitimate kids running around all over this site, but I'm totally up for procreation. Though I have to warn you, I'll deny I'm the father and I won't pay for Pampers. You'll probably have to take me on Maury.
Thanks for the review, love.
(#) pixied_secrets 2006-12-10 01:01:55 PMyou proper usage of "hoebageler" made laugh. hard. really hard.
lola is really concerned about letting joe in on the fact that pete is a major douchebag. but didn't joe see pete with jeanne at the party? as an older brother, wouldn't that piss him off too? he seems a little oblivious.
i wish the smurfs mug didn't have to be broken in vain. now, had she actually pelted the sonofabitch with it, there would be proper justification. but damn.
you deserve a rating point for that thing you do. because your writing is fantastical.
Author's responseThat, my friend, is what we call a plothole. Let's just pretend that Joe was far too busy smoking weed and scoring with girls of legal age.
P.S. I knew I'd make you proud with the use of hoebageler.
(#) patrickdance4me 2006-12-10 03:11:56 PMpete= uber asshole
me= newfound lisp has arrived. and i like it haha
lola= damn. i have read too many stories today, so if i get the names wrong, forgive me. i am feeling slightly intoxicated. anways...
lola= poor chicka. i would kick pete in the balls and laugh when he feel to the floor. then be like, how's your dick feeling now? seriously. damage his ass to where he cannot have children!
haha i am hyper. oh yeah:
patrick= sweet awesome and cool. i just wanna kiss his cheek and hug him tight :]
and joe= funny funny funny haha. ok i am gone now carry on!
Author's responseCasie=amazing. End of story. Now go to bed and sleep it off, you silly girl.
(#) Jessi 2006-12-10 07:32:07 PMHey ive been reading your story and it is really cool. Keep writting.
Author's responseHello, Jessi. Thanks for reviewing. I really appreciate it. Your assignment for this week is to actually join the site. It's quite fun and everyone's very nice.
(#) howshesews 2006-12-11 02:28:17 PMno...shame on me for not reviewing until now. i suck. really. suck. suck. suck. i'm sure the computer viewers's heads are spinning at the sight of these stories i'm reading. either their really pissed or please with the small amount of entertainment i'm providing for their job. hey, just thought i'd spread the love.
okay, so. this chapter made me...i don't know. angry at pete and the loss of the smurf mug, but happy with lola for not letting that prick rub his wonderfully disgusting hands all over her. i hate him...the fiction him, at least. good god.
you're incredibly amazing and it's why i love reading this story so much. seriously. you probably own the world of pete and his ex stories. really. i tried to write one and quit...probably cause i could feel a story like this coming....glad i stopped when i did.
way to be amazing. ready for the next chapter, hot stuff. buh-ring it.
Author's responseIt's all good, Sarah. You can review whenever the hell you feel like because you are a fellow DoJer and an awesome writer as well. So there.
(#) FrostedGlass 2006-12-11 11:50:04 PM"Sorry, the elevator is out." He mumbled sheepishly as he pulled out a key from his pocket. With clumsy, hurried hands, he fumbled with the lock, continuing to act contrite and offer apologies. I found it unnecessary and quite frankly, annoying but his nervous mannerisms worked in his favor. It was kind of endearing. -> Exactly.
"Wow. This is...this is disgusting." He chuckled nervously before rubbing the back of his neck. Ha! ;) Patrick really is a lot like a Japanese cartoon character. So the neck-rubbing works perfectly. Thanks for all the Patricky-ness, Kyle!!!
/"The Lion King?" I repeated, a smirk upon my face. He turned and frowned at me.
"It's got some sweet fight scenes." He said, making his voice a pitch deeper./ -> AW, PATRICK!
I hope the platter and the mug were still dirty (that she hadn’t washed them yet). Cos this Wentz surely ain’t worth breaking clean stuff. holds nose up high
I tried to push him away, but he was bigger and stronger than myself. -> God. She IS tiny. ;)
Patrick’s Smurf coffee mug… -> AW, PATRICK! again
Well, you know what they say, Kyle: Best friends have to become boyfriend and girlfriend eventually. It’s one of them Fan Fic Laws. But I guess you knew that already, huh? ;)
I already rated this thing. Actually without reading it because it was my last rating point of last week. Ha. And I did good in doing so. :)
Author's responseYou know the Patrick/Lola hook up is inevitable. What kind of fan fiction writer would I be if they didn't make out a couple times? But you'll have to be patient. Thanks for the point, I'll take good care of him. hugs point
(#) poisonedhalo 2006-12-13 03:47:48 AMhey hey hey
woohoo update, i luv updates they make me happy...Pete is such a boy...typical " it wasnt like that" action going on...im loving it so keep at it dude
Author's responseHey, Halo. That's your new name...unless you want to share your real one. No pressure though :) Glad to have made you happy. I do aim to please.