Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Why Put a New Address On the Same Old Loneliness?

Deja Vu (Well, Kinda)

by pixi_dust 0 reviews

Memories and feelings...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006-12-10 - Updated: 2006-12-11 - 938 words

0Unrated
"Hi, Dia," he said in his muttering, stoner-like voice.

"...Hi..." I whispered. Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck...

"Er... how have you been?" he asked slowly, looking me up and down.

"Uh... good, I suppose." That bastard.

"If you haven't noticed, we're kinda... doing something, so would you ever so kindly leave us alone?" Joe asked sharply. "We'd like to drink these in peace."

Kaliam simply sat down between Joe and I on the left side of the table. Oh dear God, please... oh fuck, oh, fuck...

"So... you still gonna get some new strings for your guitar?" I asked Joe, straining my voice. I tried to ignore Kaliam as much as possible- it took all my self control to not smack him in the face with my cast and break his nose.

"You play guitar?" he asked. Oh, here we go...

"Yeah... I was gonna just get a new guitar, but..."

"It's more worth it just to get strings." Rude little ass, I thought.

"Well... we gotta go, right, JOE?" I asked, trying to tell him to leave with me.

"Oh... yeah." We stood up quickly, threw away our cups and walked away as quickly as we could, until we were on the upper level.

"God damnit..." he muttered as we walked into Sears, not really paying attention to anything on the shelves and racks. I looked back, double-checking to make sure he hadn't followed. I had a heavy feeling in my chest- the kind of feeling where you think something bad is going to happen. Joe held my hand tight as we went down the escalator to the lower floor, where the doors we usually used were located. I saw someone familiar, but didn't turn my head; we continued walking to the car, Joe still squeezing my hand.

Once we were on our way home I spoke. "That was scary..." I murmured.

"We need to be careful. He's supposed to be really wacked up and mental and stuff, right?"

"Yeah." I rubbed my arms, turning on the car's heat. Looking at them, I finally managed to remember...

I had been going out with him. It was ninth grade- we were excited about our freshman year and all, and were at his house because I was going to spend the night with his sister. I had fell asleep in his room watching Slingblade, and woke up to blinding pain in my arms; I turned on his lamp to see the blankets and sheets were covered in blood flowing like water from my arm. All kinds of weird patterns and words were in my arms... I began to scream, I was scared. Then- he put a bloody hand over my mouth, muffling my cries. I looked and saw his knife, the edge stained red... and didn't remember much else.

"Whatcha thinkin bout?" Joe asked. I just looked at him solemnly.

"Ah, just remembering," I sighed.

About twenty minutes later we pulled up in the drivway and crashed through the door a little louder than we intented to, expecting to see three lazy emo boys playing Nintendo- but instead, we saw a note written on a paper towel with an ink pen:

"Hey sis and Joe, we're at Pete's parent's house tonight... you can take care of yourselves, right?

Pat
Andy
AAANNNDDD...
Petey!!"

Joe laughed gently as he read the note. Throwing it away, he went into the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice.

"Hmm, feels different without the sound of video games and turning pages," I said, sitting across the table and grabbing an apple from the bowl in the center.

"Yup," Joe replied.

"Anything wrong?" I asked, after several quiet moments.

He was silent for a couple of seconds, then said, "You're not worried about Kaliam are you?"

"No, why?"

"Well, if you are... I won't let him touch you. I'll always be here for you no matter what... okay?"

I felt my face turn a light shade of red, and my heart beat a little bit faster. "Okay..." I whispered.

He sucked down the last of his juice and smiled at me. "You're so cute when you get looks like that."

"Like... how?"

"Those looks like 'what the hell?'. It's just... cute."

I managed to dig through my nervousness and laugh. "Hmm, I've never noticed it."

"Of course not," he said, getting up. I sat for a few moments alone, then got up and went to my room. He was already there, playing a blink_182 song.

'Where you can always find me
And we'll have halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends'

I smiled and lied down by him, resting my head on his chest and taking in his smell, a million thoughts running through my mind. Does he know my feelings? Does he feel the same? Or is he just leading me on for kicks? Is he even the type of guy to pull crap like that?

But I just shook it off. I tried my hardest to concentrate on the moment... just the two of us in the house, listening to music and lying together... just like always...

He grasped my hand and held it tight, rubbing it within his until it was numb. Then.. I don't know what was up with me, whether I just wasn't thinking or what... but I said something I would have never dared to say otherwise.

"I love you, Joe," I whispered.

'Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight'

Then, even more unexpectedly, he replied:

"I love you, too."
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