Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Bob's Revenge

The Detaching of Ray's Hair

by xDisenchantedx 5 Reviews

The guillotine trick doesn't go as well as planned...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [V] [?] - Published: 2006/12/27 - Updated: 2008/09/04 - 1022 words

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Chapter Four: The Detaching of Ray's Hair
If I were to say that My Chemical Romance was totally PUMPED for their concert, I'd sound like a total dumbass. So I'll say it anyway!

My Chemical Romance and Bob were totally PUMPED for their concert, minus Frankie and Mikey, of course, because neither of them knew how to break the bread news to Gee, and also minus Ray because there was something heavy in his hair that was weighing it down a half of an inch below satisfactory. So the only ones that were totally PUMPED about the show were Gee, because he loved 'Bread!', and Bob, because... actually, no. Bob doesn't count.

"Good luck, everyone!" Gerard smiled sweetly before prancing onto the stage. After exchanging a nervous glance, Frankie and Mikey followed, then Ray, then Bob, because to get the guillotine on stage, Bob had to hide it behind Ray's hair.

The concert began and the tension onstage was evident to everyone except for Gerard, who didn't notice because he was too excited about sharing 'Bread!' with the rest of the world, and Ray, who never notices ANYTHING. Come on, I mean, he had a rock collection, a five-pound bag of make-up, and a guillotine sticking out of his head and didn't notice.

Frankie slipped a few notes in Welcome to the Black Parade and almost forgot his part in The Sharpest Lives because he was too busy worrying about what Gee would do to physically harm him once he knew the truth about the bread. Mikey was worrying equally, but his part didn't sound very messed up because, well, he doesn't even really HAVE a part. WHERE ARE ALL OF THE COOL BASS LICKS, EH? NOWHERE!

"You guys are really great!" Gee cheered at the audience, pulling his microphone to his side to breathe for a millisecond as he stared out into the painting of many faces. "Now I'd like to sing you one of my favorite, though unreleased songs... as of now."

Unreleased song? Mikey panicked. Dead! was next on the playlist. Did Gerard want them to perform Desert Song? Kill All Your Friends?

"Dead!" Gerard screamed, and though the crowd was quite confused, they continued screaming like Gerard COULDN'T hear them.

What's wrong with him? Mikey thought to Frankie before he remembered that Frankie wasn't telepathic. Frankie just shrugged. The crowd was waiting... Gerard was waiting... Frankie pounded on that G chord a few times and soon enough, he was listening to Ray play that jaw-dropping solo.

It was when it came the time for Gerard to sing when his brother's plan hit Mikey.

That awful song. That god awful song...

What could he do? He couldn't stop the band just because his big brother wanted to sing about baked goods...

He had no choice but to keep kind-of playing his nonexistent part.

"And if your dough stops rising
I'll be here wondering:
Did you forget to add the yeast?
Wasting ingredients..."


Frankie messed up a few chords there. Those certainly weren't the right words! He thought Gerard had forgotten that song!

How ironic that Gerard would choose to sing that song right before I tell him he sucks at baking...

"And if I get to heaven
I'm gonna thank that god
For the gift of banana bread!
The ending of your life tastes sweet
With something good to eat!"


Bob thought it was funny that the audience and other band members were really confused, so he knew this would be a good time for his evil deed.

And Ray didn't even notice that the words were different.

"Have you heard the news of my bread?
It's so good for you to eat
You know it's filled with Vitamin C
So take some for your mom and your dad
Wouldn't it be grand?
It ain't exactly what you planned,
But wouldn't it be great
If we ate bread?
Oh, bread."


The guitars continued and so did Gerard because nobody noticed when Bob stopped playing the drums.

As Gee sang "Tongue tied and oh so squeamish, you stare the oven down as it bakes banana bread, it smells so nice," Bob slipped behind the stage and then crawled back on once he was concealed behind Ray's hair. It was when he was pulling the guillotine out when Frankie noticed and stopped playing, then Mikey noticed Frankie stop and stopped too, then Gerard stopped mid "With something good to eat!" and turned to stare at Ray, who was still playing.

You're so blonde, Ray! Eh-geh-geh-geh-geh!!

"Hey! It's that dude that snuck onto our tour bus!" Frankie cried, pointing to Bob in an angry fashion.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Gerard was PISSED! This anonymous, bus-riding freak ruined his FABULOUS song!

"A magic trick," Bob rolled his eyes. He didn't bother arguing about being the drummer again because he knew they had already forgotten.

"I love magic tricks!" Gee forgot his anger with an adorable smile, and sat down on the stage for a better view.

"Ray, I need your help," Bob said to Ray, who was still jamming out on the solo before the 'LA LA LA LA LA!' part.

"Oh. Okay," Ray said, and abruptly stopped playing.

"Stick your head and hands in there," Bob told him, gesturing to the guillotine. Ray shrugged and did as he was told, because he MUST be that stupid.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Bob said with fervor as he lifted the ax Bob Dole had supplied him with over his head. "I give you...

"RAY'S HEAD!"

"NO!!!" Mikey hollered, because he actually kind of liked Ray and was the only one who was smart enough to know what was going on.

Ray's skull is actually pretty small, though it's always disguised by that massive hair, so Mikey was able to pull him out before his head was chopped off. Ray was about to thank Mikey, and Gee and Frankie were about to kick Bob's ass, before the whole world went silent for 83 seconds.

There on the ground lay Ray's hair, but Ray was no longer attached to it.


End of chapter four.
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