so yeah, this chapter is way long. cool. summaries are for pussies!
Kate sat in a brightly lit room with red walls. A buzzing sound as well as Sara's laughter soon filled her ears.
"Shit, my birthday present isn't supposed to hurt so bad." Kate winced with her eyes clamped shut as she squeezed the hell out of Sara's hand.
"Kate you're such a pussy mine didn't hurt that bad." Sara replied and lifted up her shirt to reveal the bandage that covered up her brand new tattoo. Pete bounced up and down with excitement as he watched his newly turned eighteen-year-old sister get tattooed.
"Mom and Dad are going to fucking kill me, I'm so excited." He sang as he intently watched the needle hit her skin.
"Alright little lady, you're all done, happy birthday." The tattoo artist responded as he cleaned off the inside of her wrist. Kate squealed with excitement.
"That's so random though Kate. What the crap is 'p.s. I love you' supposed to mean?" Sara responded as she grabbed Kate's arm to glace at the inside of her wrist.
"Post Script, I love you. Like in a letter, p.s. you know? I like it, I think it's sweet." Kate sighed and smiled as she once more looked at the ink that her skin now contained. Pete shrugged and hugged Kate.
"I'm corrupting you, you are going to grow up and be just like me. I am the best brother ever, and this is the best birthday present ever. I win."
"Hey no way, one's enough, but you are the best brother ever."
Sara was still contemplating Kate's tattoo,
"But, but what if like, you start dating someone with the initials P.S. won't it be weird?" she raised a finger and thought some more.
"Like who Sara?"
"Hell I don't know." Sara responded and threw her hands up in the air.
"Hey, hey, Sara what if you start dating brass knuckles won't it be weird?" Kate mocked and gestured to Sara's hip where her tattoo was.
"Oh shut up, I was just saying, it might be weird."
"Or fate." Pete spoke up and Sara rolled her eyes as the three strolled out of the shop.
The walls we're suddenly glowing in the florescent lighting of the school's hallway.
"Kate have you talked to Patrick since that time I brought him by your garage?" Joe questioned as he threw his notebook in his locker quickly shutting it before it fell out again. Kate politely waved at a passer by before she returned her attention back to Joe.
"No, he never called." Kate sighed and sorted though some papers that were neatly filed in her locker, Joe leaned up against the lockers waiting for Kate to finish.
"Hey I have to stop by some place before I drop you off at home is that cool?" he responded and shifted his backpack, Kate nodded but kept her attention focused on the paper in her hand.
"Dude that Calc test was ridiculous." She sighed as she shut her locker door and Joe nodded but his mind was somewhere else.
"So, yeah, you liked Patrick right, you thought he was a cool kid?"
"Yeah, where are you going with this, It's depressing me, yes, I'm bummed that he didn't call but what am I supposed to do?"
Joe smiled but didn't say anything.
"What Joey?" Kate glanced at him from the corner of her eye.
"Nothing." Joe shrugged and unlocked the car, they both slid in.
"Where is it we're going anyway?" Kate sighed as she lazily played with a slinky she found on the floor of Joe's car. Joe didn't respond as he quickly pulled into the parking lot of an old record store. He parked horribly and got out of the car looking around the lot for something. Kate arched an eyebrow but continued to play with the slinky in the passenger seat. Joe finally spotted what he was looking for and stuck his head back into the car calling for Kate to hurry up and c'mon. Kate rolled her eyes and stepped out of the car throwing the slinky behind her, smoothing out her tank top and straightening out her skirt.
"What the crap Joe? You don't own a turn table or a record player what the deuce?" She gestured to the store and Joe just held the door open gesturing her to hurry up and get inside. The little bell above the door rang which signaled the entrance of people but the person sitting at the cash register however didn't even glance up from the sheet music he was reading to acknowledge them. Joe shook his head in disbelief at the employee and glanced down but didn't find Kate. Joe frantically spun around in a circle looking for Kate but came up empty handed, it was then that Patrick looked up.
"Joe, hey man, what's up?"
Joe immediately froze,
"Uhm hey, hi. I'm great, super great." Joe's lisp was apparent.
"Are you here for a reason?" Patrick asked with a slight laugh.
"No, no I'm not, I was just coming to tell you that band practice is still at the same time, and you know, now that I have told you that," Joe paused to look in-between aisles for Kate, "I was going to leave, but instead I'm going to look around some."
Patrick gave him a confused look but shrugged,
"Alright dude whatever."
Joe nodded and ran into one of the aisles and whispered harshly for Kate.
Kate was however oblivious and walked back into the main aisle with a Bowie record in hand.
"Joe?" she said quietly and looked around but didn't find Joe. She groaned, shook her head and headed for the register. She put the record on the counter, and patiently tapped her fingers on the glass waiting to be acknowledged. The cashier didn't notice and continued to write notes on the sheet music. Kate glanced at the paper and scrunched up her face.
"It'd sound better if it went C sharp D flat, instead of A sharp B flat at that part right there." Kate responded and pointed to the sheet. Patrick, obviously startled by her voice, shot his head up which caused him to lose his balance and fall backwards off the stool, Kate took a step back not expecting him to be the cashier. Joe heard the crash and ran out of one of the aisles to see Kate peering over the counter.
"Patrick?" She questioned still not really believing it was him.
"I'm alright, I'm totally fine." Patrick responded from under the counter causing Joe to laugh obnoxiously loud. Kate glared at him who silenced his laughter with his hand. She ran behind the counter and knelt to face Patrick.
"You haven't left yet?" He responded mortified and covered his face with his hands.
"Are you ok?" She responded worried and he nodded.
"Alright then, I'll leave now, I guess." She sighed and stood up. Kate walked back around the counter and out the door leaving Joe behind standing in the middle of the store with his hand still over his own mouth. Joe glanced out the front window at Kate who was leaning on the passenger side door. He walked over to the counter.
"Dude what's your deal?" Joe leaned over the counter at Patrick who was still underneath it.
"I'm such a fucking idiot, I fell off the fucking stool." He groaned and rested his head on the counter.
"Why haven't you called her? You asked her out, but didn't call, hello she already said yes." Joe replied still lying on the counter.
"I get nervous dude, and I stutter, it's bad. She won't like me anyways." Patrick shrugged.
"But she already said yes, and dude, you don't even know, the whole fucking school is after her and she said yes to you."
"That makes me feel tons more confident." Patrick said sarcastically and Joe rolled his eyes.
"She said yes, do you not know how hot she is?" He practically yelled and Patrick nodded,
"Get the fuck off the damn floor and go outside and talk to her." Joe ordered and Patrick stood following instructions.
"What's that?" Patrick gestured to the Bowie record on the counter, and Joe shrugged,
"I don't know Kate was going to get it."
Patrick picked it up and sighed as he glanced out the window at Kate who was now kicking the gravel around her feet waiting for Joe. Kate heard the jingle of the door.
"Fucking finally Joe honestly." She glanced up to see Patrick standing there.
"Oh, sorry." She mumbled and once again started shuffling the gravel around her feet.
"You know it's totally fine if you really don't want to hang out, I mean, I know you were probably just being nice, and I can handle rejection and everything so it's no big." Patrick started rambling while looking at his shoes.
"Patrick what are you even talking about, I said yes, you're the one who didn't call."
"Yeah I know, but I just figured." He let his voice trail off.
"Figured what?" Kate asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest obviously annoyed, she didn't wait for a reply.
"What have they told you?"
"Who?" Patrick squinted his eyes as he looked up to meet her gaze.
"Joe and my brother, and whoever else."
"I don't know, I've heard some stuff around." Patrick shrugged.
"What kind of stuff?" She questioned as she placed her hands on her hips.
"Homecoming court every year, student body president, cheerleading and softball team captain, straight A's, you're the only girl in a band that doesn't suck - everyone loves you - even the kids who aren't supposed to, do. You are friends with everyone."
"So what Patrick?" She threw her arms up in frustration.
"Do you even know, I'm nobody. I sit in my bedroom and obsess over music, that's it, that's all I do, why would you ever want to be with somebody like me, you're stock would plummet so bad."
Joe could hear them arguing from outside and as soon as those words escaped Patrick's lips he wished that he could go outside and save him before the shit really hit the fan. Joe knew that Patrick was blowing this.
Kate let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Well, golly gee Patrick, you're so right, what would I ever tell my girlfriends?" she mocked the girls he thought she was. She was crushed that an image was all he could see in her.
"Is that what you think of me? How could you even say something like that?" She yelled, "Fine you want to play the image game, have you seen my fucking friends Patrick, the one's I hang out with every damn day. Joe, freaking audio visual club, band geek, Star Wars obsessive compulsive, let me be creepy and sneak into the girls locker room Joe," She gestured through the window at Joe who smiled and waved back. "He is one of my best friends. Sara is a Drama freak, Brian is a pothead, Sam is the whole damn chess club, are you understanding where I'm going here? Image is nothing, and I feel so sorry for you if an image is all you see in people. I like you Patrick, and you asked me out so you must have liked me too - why should anything else matter?"
Patrick kicked a rock before looking at her,
"But, are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure."
"Dude, yeah, yeah I'm going to look for it now chill the fuck out." Patrick yelled over his shoulder at Pete who was whining about something that probably didn't hold much importance at all. Patrick rolled his eyes and let out a sigh as he stomped up the steps and into the band's bus.
"Has anyone seen Pete's shirt thing?" He yelled to what he thought was a full bus but ended up only being Kate. He stopped short when he spotted his girlfriend standing on her tiptoes in front of the sleeping area looking though a pile of magazines that rested on Joe's top bunk. She was wearing a bikini and had her hair tied up on the top of her head.
"You're going to have to be a tad more specific." She mumbled not taking her eyes off of the pile she was looking though.
"Whoa hello there. Why are you in a bathing suit? No one is allowed to see you this unclothed unless I say so." He questioned with a laugh.
"First off, I'm on an empty bus, and secondly, it's fucking Warped tour, we are in New Mexico in the middle of the summer it is 115 degrees outside and there is no air on." She whined as she planted her feet on the ground finally abandoning her pursuit of whatever she was looking for. Patrick laughed at her slightly,
Kate glared at him,
"So are you."
"Yeah but I'm still way taller than you are."
She rolled her eyes and faced the bunks once more but was startled when Patrick appeared behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waste and nuzzled into her neck.
"Hey, hey, you! That's not allowed, that's the danger zone, and you're supposed to be looking for something." Kate playfully swatted at him and he laughed but continued to kiss her neck. Everyone has a specific 'spot,' the neck area just happened to be Kate's and Patrick knew that very, very well. Finally giving in, Kate turned around and placed a quick kiss on his lips.
"You see how you are, that's all I wanted, you could have done that like five minutes ago and saved me a lot of effort." He laughed and took a step away from her, she smacked him in response.
"You're mean, now I'm all hot and bothered." She replied.
He didn't say anything but pulled her into another kiss, the soft kisses soon turned into passionate ones.
"Jesus Fucking Christ Patrick, honestly how long does it take to -" Pete stopped and gestured to the kissing couple, "gross, why do you guys always have to be doing that?"
Patrick pulled away slightly and shrugged, Kate placed one final kiss on Patrick's neck before also turning to face her brother.
Kate woke up with a jolt. She sat up quickly and glanced at her wrist and sure enough,
p.s. I love you.
was printed across it. She looked around the room for Patrick but he was nowhere in sight instead Sam sat in the chair by her bed.
"Morning. I sent Patrick home. It took some work but I was finally able to convince him that you weren't going to melt away, or break into a million pieces or anything major. Knowing him though, he should be back soon." He smiled at her, she smiled back and nodded.
"Ok." She responded, and he looked at her.
"You were moving a lot in your sleep though, dreams?" He questioned and she nodded,
"Memories I think."
Sam's eyes grew wide,
"Really? What of?"
"Getting my tattoo, yelling at Patrick in front of a record store, and being on a bus at Warped." Kate responded.
"Random much? Remember anything though?" He questioned and she shook her head that she didn't.
"Oh." His face fell before he reached down and picked a bag off the floor.
"This is band stuff, from Delilah. Uhm," he paused as he rummaged though the bag taking things out as he named them, "lyrics, lyrics, music, lyrics, our album thus far, pictures, Fall Out Boy's Take This To Your Grave & From Under the Cork Tree, not sure how those got in there but whatever." He sighed as he placed the last two items on the bed in front of her. She smiled as she read over the lyrics to 'Fool for Love.'
"Did I write these?"
Sam nodded, and Kate picked up another sheet of lyrics. She read them intently, her eyes welled up with tears as she read over them again.
"Did I write these too?"
Sam nodded slowly and took the paper from her to see what she was reading, he skimmed over the lyrics to 'Love You to Death' and swallowed hard.
"Yeah you wrote those." He responded and Kate wiped her eyes.
"Why do I sound so hurt?" She glanced at Sam who sat silently. He had no idea if she had been told about what happened between her and Patrick, he contemplated not telling her but the look in her eyes told him otherwise.
"Cause you were, you were hurting really bad." He responded and she glanced at the lyric sheet again.
"Why?" she looked at him again and Sam fidgeted in his seat,
"Why Sam?" Kate was getting annoyed now, she didn't understand why he wouldn't just tell her. It was then that Pete and Andy walked into the room, followed by Joe.
"What's wrong?" Pete immediately asked and Sam looked at him cautiously before speaking,
"Kate wants to know what these lyrics pertain to."
Sam handed Pete the paper, he quickly skimmed it and sighed. Joe opened his mouth to speak but Pete gestured for him to shut up.
"No, this is his responsibility, she's got to hear it from him, we're not cleaning his mess this time." Andy nodded in agreement just as Patrick walked into the room.
"What?" He questioned obviously out of the loop. Pete sighed and handed him the lyric sheet. Patrick quickly read it and looked up,
"Yeah, ok? What does this have to do with anything?" he questioned confused.
"Kate wants to know what the lyrics pertain too." Andy whispered and Patrick violently shook his head 'no.'
"No way, I just got her back you can't do this. I get a fresh start now." He harshly whispered back.
"What's going on?" Kate finally spoke annoyed. The boys looked at her apologetically before turning their backs to face her creating a barrier between Patrick and Kate.
"You've got to tell her." Pete whispered.
"What are you going to do lie to her face?" Pete's voice rose but he quickly lowered it.
"You can't lie to her." Joe threw in.
"Yeah but 'Trick's right, he just got her back right before the accident, and she's taken a liking to him now. If you tell her this she will flip out. That isn't 22 year old Kate, that's 17 year old Kate, there's a bit of a difference." Andy responded and Patrick nodded with pleading eyes.
"We can't just pick and choose what to tell her, it's her life, she's already lived it, she forgave him once she'll do it again." Pete responded, "if you don't tell her I will." He threatened. Patrick knew that Pete wasn't lying and his eyes welled up with fresh tears, he took a deep breath and sucked it up before walking over to the bed with the lyric sheet in hand. Sam got up to let him sit down, and joined the other boys who quietly walked out of the room.
"What's going on?" Kate questioned confused.
"Uhm," Patrick started off before stopping to take another deep breath.
"This song," He paused once more.
"It's so sad." Kate commented and took the piece of paper from his hands and glanced over it,
"It's like you can hear my heart breaking." She let her fingers trace over the words before turning her attention back to Patrick who shifted uncomfortably in the seat.
"This song," he started over trying to figure out the best way to word his statement, "This song is about me." He spat out, she blinked and looked at him.
"Why would I write a song like this about you? I thought we were in love?" Kate started to cry once more, she felt taken advantage of.
"We were, are. We are in love." He corrected trying to convince himself that she still loved him deep down somewhere.
"Yeah the song is called 'I Love You to Death' for some reason Patrick, but why 'am I still broken,' why do I only 'believe that you belong to me,' why 'does it hurt when we touch,' why can't 'I breathe or sleep,' why 'can't I be saved?'" She rambled off lyrics to the song and Patrick sat there like a child being scolded by his mother.
"Because I cheated on you and I told you that I didn't love you and I never have." Patrick spat out and Kate nodded slowly.
"Oh." She responded and he sat there waiting for her next move.
"Can you leave now please, I kind of want to be by myself."
"Let me just explain." Patrick pleaded and Kate ignored him.
"Shut the door on your way out." Was all she responded before lying on her side not facing him. Patrick did as he was told, he got up and slammed the door shut on his way out.