In between breaths Sam could hear his whispering. "No." Breath. "No." Breath. Sam felt his teeth withdraw from her neck. "No." He whispered again, this time louder and more determined. Sam could feel his breathing begin to even out but it was still coming heavily.
"Gerard?" She questioned quietly.
His face was pressed gently into the crook of her neck but she no longer felt in immediate danger by having him in such close proximity, not the raw monstrous danger that had filled that moment. His breathing was soft and steady now.
"Gerard?" She asked again. This time she shrugged him off her. He sat up to face her. His green eyes were glossed over and blood was beginning to dry on his lower lip. Sam could see that his fangs were no longer out. Sam stared at him in astonishment. He had fought the bloodlust and he had over powered the urge to take her life, even after the taste of blood had fuelled him. She had always thought that vampires could not resist the bloodlust, that it controlled them. Sam had known so many things about vampires that Gerard was now proving to be incorrect.
She reached out to touch him but as soon as her hand touched his arm, he jerked his arm out of her reach. He had lowered his head, his gaze pointed to the floor.
"Sorry." He whispered. Was he going to be ever apologetic? That's all he ever seemed to do; apologize. Every time something was going alright, he would do something to jeopardize the normality. Then he'd find himself apologizing again. There had been so many times he'd fucked things up, sometimes an apology could not fix it. He'd lost friends, family and lovers, all because of the monstrosity that he had been turned into.
He still could not look up at Sam, even when she uttered his name again. It seemed as if all she could do at the moment was utter his name questioningly.
"Don't be sorry." She finally said, reaching out to grasp his shoulders. Gerard looked up to meet her eyes. "Don't be sorry." She repeated, using her thumb to wipe the blood from his lip.
"How can you still be so calm, so unafraid, even after I almost killed you, again?" Confusion was very evident in his eyes. Sam let out a chuckle, causing Gerard to become even more confused and curious about her.
"I'm not afraid Gerard. I've learnt never to be scared. I try to never be afraid and I don't fear you, you're still a person even with the bloodlust." Sam said, still gripping his shoulders. She was looking expectantly into Gerard's eyes, her own blue ones wide. "And, you're not a monster." She added quietly, losing her nerve and dropping her hands from his shoulders and her eyes from his face.
It was true, he wasn't a monster despite what she'd always been lead to believe as a child. When she was a young child her parents had been murdered, not by a human being, but by a vampire.
Sam had run to the cupboard and hidden because she had been alerted to a feeling of danger. She had heard her mother's shrieks and her father's yells to 'stop it'. She had heard a thump resounded and then silence. No matter how quiet it had become, Sam resolved not to leave her hiding place. She had spent what felt like hours, in the dark, hiding for fear of what she may have found when she opened the cupboard door.
Finally she did open the door and got out. The sight that met her eyes was enough to mute the scream that her brain had instructed to sound. There was blood spread across the kitchen counters and splashed on the wall near the door way. Sam saw bloody smudges of what should've been handprints on the cupboard doors. When she had finally seen her parents, she was finally capable of allowing the scream to come.
The sight was more then any child should ever have bared. Her parents were sprawled dead on the floor. They had not sustained the 'classic' vampire bite, but their necks had been torn violently open, revealing muscle and messes of ripped tissue. It was impossible for Sam to remember anything more, but the sight of her parents had been enough to stay with her forever.
Sam was snapped out of her reverie by Gerard's voice.
"Sam!" He said, shaking her. "Sam? What's wrong?" Her glassy-eyed expression had frightened him because for that moment he thought he had hurt her.
"Oh. Nothing." She said faintly.
Gerard raised his eyebrows. It couldn't have been nothing, the look on her face betrayed what she was saying.
She knew he was expecting her to say something more, but she didn't know if she should. She had never actually told anyone what had happened to her parents. She'd always dismiss any questions with ' they died'. No one asked more. She'd been saying that since she was young, only because maybe if she actually told anyone what had happened they'd lock her up. Claim her as crazy, because that's how it sounded. Crazy.
"My parents died." Sam spoke softly. Gerard moved closer to her so he could hear every word she was speaking. "They were killed by a vampire. It was a mess, a horrific mess. I was only 6." Sam shook her head, trying to will the tears not to come.
Quickly Gerard pulled her close to him, trying to comfort her. Having her tell him that didn't make him understand any more. He wondered why she didn't despise him just for what he was, because one of 'his kind' brutally murdered her parents.
"I used to hate all vampires. Despised them" She sniffed and tried to smudge away her tears. "Because one took my parents from me, but then I met you." She looked up at him. "You were so different to any assumptions I had ever made. You proved so much I believed wrong."
Gerard gently wiped away the remaining tears that still stained her face. "Sam, I'm still the same thing. I'm still a vampire." He said sadly.
Sam rested her head on his chest, listening to every beat of his heart. "You're still human." She said.
[A/N] I apologize for the long wait. I've been preoccupied by school.
I tried to work hard on this chapter and I'm finally proud to say this chapter is over 1000 words, all of my other chapters have seemed to be sickly short. I'm actually thinking of winding this fic up soon, but there's hopefully still about 3 or 4 more chapters until I actually do that.
Please R&R once again. I'll love you for it.