Without Sara, he might have been gone.
"Listen Mikey" I started, but he grabbed his earphones and jabbed them into his ears. He played his iPod so loud that I could here the words to the song he was listening to. I sat back in my seat and closed me eyes. It was getting late. 11:36 to be exact, and I wanted to sleep. Luckily the only seats left on the plan were first class and I got a large seat to sleep comfortably in.
The stewardess came by a moment later with small blankets and pillows, and I gladly took them. Mikey however, just sat there looking stony face. I turned to face the window, and I could see the runway beneath us. We hadn't taken off yet, and already I was nervous. I didn't know what I was going to say to Gerard when we got there. He might not even let me get a word out.
Once again I closed my eyes and drifted into a restless sleeping, waking up every half hour. The last time I woke up, Mikey's head was leaning on my shoulder and his glasses askew. I was tempted to push it off, but elected that that would be too mean, so once again I fell asleep. The next time I woke up, we were landing in Los Angeles. It was early morning, the sky just barely lit up by the morning sun.
Mikey was already up and collecting his belongings. When he noticed I was awake, he gave me a small nod and turned away.
I could understand why he was mad at me, but I hated the tension. I tried to tell him again that I was sorry, but he just said "I don't want to hear it." And I really was sorry. For everything. There were too many things in my life that I regretted, and telling Gerard that it was his baby turned out to be the mother of them all.
We got off the plane, and Mikey scribbled Gerards address on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
"Aren't you coming with me?" I asked him as he started to walk away.
He slowly turned on the spot. "No. You have to do it alone. You caused it, so you have to fix it." And then he was gone into the sea of people who had just gotten off the plane and were looking for their loved ones.
I waited for my luggage, and brought it out to the front of the airport to wait for a cab. It must have been about a 30 second wait before a cab pulled up and the driver asked me if I needed a ride. He tossed my small suitcase into the back of the cab, and then I handed him the address.
He pulled up in front of the apartment building about 20 minutes later. I didn't know what I was going to do with my luggage so I brought it with me. Unfortunately there wasn't an elevator so I dragged it up the stairs to the 9th floor. My heart started to beat faster as the door numbers reached closed to Gerards apartment. And then finally I was standing in front of it. 39a. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I waited, and when nothing happened I knocked once more. After a minute of waiting, I tried the doorknob, and to my surprise it opened.
I slowly pushed the door open and walked in. The curtains were drawn, and I could hardly see anything. "Hello?" I called softly. There was no answer, so I flicked the light switch on. What I saw scared the hell out of me. It looked as if the place hadn't been cleaned in a month. And it didn't smell great either. And just as Mikey had said, there was blood. I walked farther into the apartment and say empty bottles lying on the floor. I made my way to the bedroom, and that's where I found him. Lying on his stomach, groaning softly. "Gerard?"
He jerked his head up. "Who's there?" He squinted at me.
"Sara? What the fuck are you doing here?" he slurred. He was obviously drunk.
"Gerard, what are you doing to yourself?" His bare arms revealed fresh deep cuts, blood still leaking out of them.
"Why do you care?"
"Gerard, don't do this. You have such a great life. Don't waste it."
"My life isn't great. My life never will be. I can't have you, and that's all I ever wanted." He was staggering towards me.
"Let me help Gerard."
"No! I don't need your help! Just get away from me." All of a sudden, Gerard started violently coughing, his eyes bulging from his head. He slumped to the ground, clutching his throat. And then he started to vomit uncontrollably. I stared in horror, not knowing what to do. I looked around for a phone, and dashed back into the living room. I called 911, and then returned to Gerard. He had passed out and was lying in his puke. I dragged him all my strength to the front door. Finally, the ambulance showed up, and they took Gerard away from me. I went to climb into the ambulance with him, put the pulled me out, telling me I couldn't be there.
I made it to the hospital half an hour later, and rushed to the front desk to find Gerard.
"Please, I need to know where he is."
"All that I can tell you is that he is in the operating room" the nurse calmly said.
"Why?" I pressed on.
"That's all I can tell you for now ma'am. Please take a seat. A doctor will be out when the procedure is done."
I walked away from the desk, looking for the nearest pay phone, and I found one in the lobby.
"Mikey. You need to come to General Hospital right now"
"What happened?" asked Mikey, great concern in his voice.
"I don't know, just come" and then I hung up. I didn't know what to do. I paced the lobby for another 15 minutes until Mikey showed up with Frank, Ray and Bob.
"Where is he?" asked Mikey immediately.
"He's in the operating room. They wouldn't tell me what's wrong."
Mikey started cursing silently, and I walked over to the other guys. "Hi"
"Hi" they answered in unison.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Frank.
"I don't know yet." He nodded and they walked away from me. Was everyone mad at me?
I took a seat in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting any news on Gerard's condition. And What seemed like hours later, the doctor that had operated on Gerard came out. We all stood as he approached us.
"Are you here for Gerard Way?" We nodded. "Mr. Way has suffered from liver failure. Fortunately, thanks to you miss," he pointed at me, "we have been able to save Mr. Way, but if he had gotten here any later, he may not have survived."
"Can we go see him now?" asked Ray.
"You may, but he may not be awake." Frank, Ray, and Bob followed the nurse who was going to take them to see Gerard, and I was about to follow, but Mikey grabbed me.
"Thank you" he said, and then he hugged me, tears pouring down his face. "Thank you so much."
Gerard had been drifting in and out of sleep for an hour, and I still hadn't gone to see him. After all the guys had left the hospital, I decided it was time to go in. I took a deep breath and entered. I was slightly relieved to see that was sleeping, so I pulled a chair up next to his bed.
I looked at his face. He looked so peaceful. "Gerard" I started talking, even though I knew he couldnt hear me. "Im sorry. I didnt mean to hurt you like I did. I thought I was doing it for the best but I guess I was terribly wrong." Tears welled up in my eyes, and I tried to fight them back, but it was no use, so I let them flow freely.
"I would never purposely hurt you Gerard" I said taking one of his hands in mine. "I love you too much." I kissed it and smiled at him. Just then a nurse came in.
"Excuse me miss, but it is now family visiting hours only."
"How are you related?"
"Hes the father of my child" I said without thinking.
"Okay" she left the room, and I turned my attention back to Gerard. Did I see a smile on his face? No. It was just my imagination. I was tired. And all of a sudden, it started to kick in. I placed my head on Gerard's bed, still holding his hand, and this is how I fell asleep. Unknown to me was the fact that he had heard every word I had said since I entered the room.