Categories > Original > Humor > Five Minute Soap Dish
Week 10
Three days had passed since their last radio show, and Kelly was working as a bank teller. Not a glamorous job, but it paid the bills, both her own, and that of the radio program.
"GoodafternoonsirsorryaboutthewaithowmayIhelpyouwithyourtransactiontoday?" Kelly recited by rote, not even bothering to look up to see her client.
"I would very much like to rob you today, my dear, then plunder your delicious booties," her customer responded.
Kelly looked up and rolled her eyes, "One of these days I'm going to press the alarm when you arrive, Nick. What do you really want?"
"Well, a chef threw a frypan at my head about half an hour ago. Which means pending workplace rights dispute, Which means, I get the day of work. I was wondering if you'd mind celebrating with me over lunch."
"The better pay means the less loose time schedule, Nick. I can't just drop everything when you want a lunch break."
"But you have a lunch break coming up, don't you? Why not share it with me, or is hotguyatwork going to join you today?"
Kelly shushed him, "Keep it down. I'll see if I can go on a break now. Wait nearby, okay?"
Nick nodded and move off the queue, and Kelly went to talk to her supervisor. Nick walked around the other lines before seeing someone he recognised, sprinting over to tap her on the shoulder.
"Hey Gia. What brings you here?"
Gia turned, and smiled on seeing Nick, "Just cashing some cheques. You?"
"Two reasons-one, to look tough in an entirely new setting. And two, I was asking Kelly out to Lunch. Want to join?"
"Sure. I'll be with you a few minutes," she said.
Nick walked towards the staff entry door, where Kelly emerged. She did not look pleased.
"Okay, my supervisor said I can have my one hour lunch break, but isn't pleased about the forewarning. Next time, tell me-" Kelly began.
"Okay, okay. I'll tell you the next time a chef wants to violently assault me," Nick cut in.
"Well, I'd think you'd be able to predict it. Whenever you open your mouth to say something, text me a message first asking me to book a table," Kelly said, "So, let's go. I only have an hour."
"Gia's joining us, but she shouldn't be long. Enough time for you to ask Hotguyatwork to join us, if you choose," Nick said with a grin.
"God, I don't know why I told you about him."
"Here's what I don't get, why you're being so shy about this. Kelly, you aren't usually this hesitant, I mean, you've had so many boyfriends you number them to help you remember their names."
Kelly tutted her finger, "You numbered them to remember their names. I didn't even use the numbers system. I try not to make any emotional attachment with them. Works out better that way. You tell me I'm dating Mr. 27, and I believe you for some reason."
"You're avoiding my question, Kelly."
Kelly shrugged slightly, "I guess it's different when it's someone you know at work-"
"But you don't even know his name."
"Oh, that's just me continuing on a trend. I could learn his name if I wanted. Anyway, usually if I break up with a guy we never have to think about each other again. That's where the benefit of no names comes in. But work, I don't get that luxury. I'd have to see him every single day."
"So you're just going to pine at him across a crowded money machine and dream of what might have been?" Nick asked, slightly mocking her.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that Mr. Emotionally-Retarded?"
"Hey, if the choice was between emotional-retardation and intentional psychological suffering, I know which I'd choose. It's just, pining over something at not having a go at it, I couldn't imagine anyone doing that and being happy."
"Hey!" Gia said, joining them, "I'm off the poverty line for another week. So, what are you guys talking about?"
"Oh, just Kelly's long term love interest, hotguyatwork." Nick said, leading the group towards the door as Kelly tried to cover her blushing with her hands.
"Oh, teller no. 5?" Gia said.
Kelly said nothing but removed her hands to give Gia a wide-eyed stare.
"It is teller no. 5! You know how long it's taken me to find out who this guy is?" Nick asked, "Now all I have to do is hope they don't change around tellers while I'm gone."
"It wasn't that hard when you think of it. There were only six tellers open. Three were women, one was old, and the other one, well, I don't think he'd be anyone's love interest. But I'm sure he's a nice person."
"Don't worry, Dunster the Munster is a bastard as well as being ugly," Kelly said.
"Ah, nature at work, showing us how to differentiate good from bad on basis of looks," Nick said, before something clicked, "So you remember the names of absolute ugly bastards, but you won't remember the name of hotguyatwork? What sort of method is that?"
"Well, it means I remember your name," Kelly said with a grin.
"Ah, touche."
Three days had passed since their last radio show, and Kelly was working as a bank teller. Not a glamorous job, but it paid the bills, both her own, and that of the radio program.
"GoodafternoonsirsorryaboutthewaithowmayIhelpyouwithyourtransactiontoday?" Kelly recited by rote, not even bothering to look up to see her client.
"I would very much like to rob you today, my dear, then plunder your delicious booties," her customer responded.
Kelly looked up and rolled her eyes, "One of these days I'm going to press the alarm when you arrive, Nick. What do you really want?"
"Well, a chef threw a frypan at my head about half an hour ago. Which means pending workplace rights dispute, Which means, I get the day of work. I was wondering if you'd mind celebrating with me over lunch."
"The better pay means the less loose time schedule, Nick. I can't just drop everything when you want a lunch break."
"But you have a lunch break coming up, don't you? Why not share it with me, or is hotguyatwork going to join you today?"
Kelly shushed him, "Keep it down. I'll see if I can go on a break now. Wait nearby, okay?"
Nick nodded and move off the queue, and Kelly went to talk to her supervisor. Nick walked around the other lines before seeing someone he recognised, sprinting over to tap her on the shoulder.
"Hey Gia. What brings you here?"
Gia turned, and smiled on seeing Nick, "Just cashing some cheques. You?"
"Two reasons-one, to look tough in an entirely new setting. And two, I was asking Kelly out to Lunch. Want to join?"
"Sure. I'll be with you a few minutes," she said.
Nick walked towards the staff entry door, where Kelly emerged. She did not look pleased.
"Okay, my supervisor said I can have my one hour lunch break, but isn't pleased about the forewarning. Next time, tell me-" Kelly began.
"Okay, okay. I'll tell you the next time a chef wants to violently assault me," Nick cut in.
"Well, I'd think you'd be able to predict it. Whenever you open your mouth to say something, text me a message first asking me to book a table," Kelly said, "So, let's go. I only have an hour."
"Gia's joining us, but she shouldn't be long. Enough time for you to ask Hotguyatwork to join us, if you choose," Nick said with a grin.
"God, I don't know why I told you about him."
"Here's what I don't get, why you're being so shy about this. Kelly, you aren't usually this hesitant, I mean, you've had so many boyfriends you number them to help you remember their names."
Kelly tutted her finger, "You numbered them to remember their names. I didn't even use the numbers system. I try not to make any emotional attachment with them. Works out better that way. You tell me I'm dating Mr. 27, and I believe you for some reason."
"You're avoiding my question, Kelly."
Kelly shrugged slightly, "I guess it's different when it's someone you know at work-"
"But you don't even know his name."
"Oh, that's just me continuing on a trend. I could learn his name if I wanted. Anyway, usually if I break up with a guy we never have to think about each other again. That's where the benefit of no names comes in. But work, I don't get that luxury. I'd have to see him every single day."
"So you're just going to pine at him across a crowded money machine and dream of what might have been?" Nick asked, slightly mocking her.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that Mr. Emotionally-Retarded?"
"Hey, if the choice was between emotional-retardation and intentional psychological suffering, I know which I'd choose. It's just, pining over something at not having a go at it, I couldn't imagine anyone doing that and being happy."
"Hey!" Gia said, joining them, "I'm off the poverty line for another week. So, what are you guys talking about?"
"Oh, just Kelly's long term love interest, hotguyatwork." Nick said, leading the group towards the door as Kelly tried to cover her blushing with her hands.
"Oh, teller no. 5?" Gia said.
Kelly said nothing but removed her hands to give Gia a wide-eyed stare.
"It is teller no. 5! You know how long it's taken me to find out who this guy is?" Nick asked, "Now all I have to do is hope they don't change around tellers while I'm gone."
"It wasn't that hard when you think of it. There were only six tellers open. Three were women, one was old, and the other one, well, I don't think he'd be anyone's love interest. But I'm sure he's a nice person."
"Don't worry, Dunster the Munster is a bastard as well as being ugly," Kelly said.
"Ah, nature at work, showing us how to differentiate good from bad on basis of looks," Nick said, before something clicked, "So you remember the names of absolute ugly bastards, but you won't remember the name of hotguyatwork? What sort of method is that?"
"Well, it means I remember your name," Kelly said with a grin.
"Ah, touche."
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