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CHAPTER 4: Back Off, No-Eyebrows!
"You sure dude?" (Naruto)
"Wha-what?"
"You sure you love her?" (Explaining Naruto)
"Of course I'm sure!" (I can't believe he asks me this...)
"You're really, really sure??" (I can't believe I'm asking this...)
"Of course! What do you think I am, mentally retarded?" (Joking)
"Cool! You can read minds!" (Saying the truth)
Silence.
"OUCH!!!!" (Grows a lump on the head)
"But what about the inheritance?"
"I don't care about that damn inheritance anymore. I love Sakura and that's it." (Haha! I'm rich! Don't you know that? Huh? Huh?)
"If you're really really sure then..." (Flashing red eyes)
"...let's execute plan BONE!" (Shikamaru with a Lee pose and smile)
Silence.
Silence.
"You think I'm a dog? Huh? Huh?" (Dumb Sasuke, dumb Sasuke)
"Boys who have good looks have no brains....tsk...tsk..." (You're just saying that Shikamaru because you're not good looking.)
"SHUT UP!"
Back to the story...
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!" (Angry Sasuke, angry Sasuke)
"I don't know that they're all also deaf and don't clean their ears..."
"Grrr..." (Sasuke dog, Sasuke dog)
"Alright. BONE stands for Back Off, No-Eyebrows!" (Shikamaru explaining with flailing arms)
Silence.
"Oh I see!" (Sasuke smiling like hell Colgate!)
"Or you can go with plan SIM." (Naruto thinking....unbelievable)
"Now what the hell is that???"
"That means Sakura Is Mine." (Naruto explaining....really unbelievable! Welcome to Ripleys!)
"Nice!" (Sasuke smiling like hell Colgate! Sequel)
BELL...........................
"Hey, the bell has rung already. Let's go back to our classrooms." (Neji)
"Or plan ILS." (Shikamaru: The Human Lightpost.)
They ignored me. No one ignores a shampoo commercial model....
"WHAT??"
"I Love Sakura!"
"Hey, you think I'm a fan boy??"
"Guys! Hello! We're gonna be late, dude!" (Ignore me, you die.)
"Or plan ULFSC." (Naruto: The Human Lightpost.)
"I'm not a Martian so converse with me in earth language."
"That means United Love For Sakura-Chan!"
"If I use that, I wouldn't have originality!"
TRIVIA: United Love For Sasuke-Kun or ULFSK was put up first by Haruno Sakura.
"SOAB! We're late!" (Censored)
Turning into super Saiyan...
Oops. Wrong anime.
"What's SOAB?" (Question mark above Sasuke's head)
"Son of a Bitch!"
"Cool! I like it more than BONE and SIM!" (Cool! Sasuke, you're so dumb!)
"Grrrr...."
"Neji..." (Shikamaru)
"Neji!!" (Naruto)
"Neji?" (Sasuke)
Silence.
"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (CENSORED! Ahh! My virgin eardrums!!!)
"What's FUCK?"
"FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Silence.
"Thank you!"
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"Bad news, man." Neji, after calming down (due to the incident at recess) announced in the courtyard during dismissal.
"What?" Shikamaru asked.
Neji gently shook his head. "Prepare..."
Sweats excessively (Sasuke)
Gulps excessively (Naruto)
Yawns excessively (Shikamaru)
"Sakura and Gaara are..."
"NO!!!!!!!!" (Sasuke)
"What the?!!!!!!" (Naruto)
yawns (Shikamaru)
"Hey wait, did I say something yet?"
Silence....
"Oh yeah sorry." (Sasuke)
"You're right..." (Naruto)
yawns (Shikamaru)
"Sakura and Gaara are going on a date----"
"WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sasuke)
Naruto faints.
yawns (Shikamaru)
"----tomorrow."
"What will we do?" (Sasuke panicking)
"Things have turned for the worst." (Naruto shakes head)
"That means....we now have to execute plan...." (Neji)
Silence.
"BONE...."
A skull with bones crossed is shown.
Nimbus clouds.
Rain.
Flood.
Laughs evilly.
yawns (Shikamaru)
"WILL YOU STOP YAWNING????"
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PLAN: BONE (Back Off, No-Eyebrows)
Objectives:
a.) Make Haruno Sakura fall in love again with Uchiha Sasuke.
b.) Ruin the date of Haruno Sakura and Sabaku no Gaara.
c.) Make Haruno Sakura realize that Sabaku no Gaara is a total jerk and that
Uchiha Sasuke is a total heartthrob.
Mission no. 1: Impress Sakura by giving her gifts.
"Guys!" Sasuke happily called the three. Yuck, he seems gay.
Change, change.
"Hey guys." Sasuke called the three running his hand through his hair. Their hiding place was the bushes near Sakura's house. Gaara is inside.
"Here are the flowers." And Sasuke held out a bouquet of white roses.
"This is so cool!!" Naruto sniffed the flowers like a dog and ended fainting. Naruto always faint.
"Did you write a letter?" Shikamaru asked.
"Of course. Here goes..."
Sound effects.
Strobe lights.
Lights focus on Sasuke.
"Ehem....Dear my dearest Sakura," he read. "These dear flowers are for my dearest you." He continued. 'From your dearest admirer, a guy wearing white shorts and blue polo." Lee pose and smile.
Sweat dropped.
Birds fly.
Noses breathe.
Naruto faints again.
Neji's nose bleeds.
Shikamaru dies.
________________________________________
After 5 minutes of painful torture, Naruto wakes up again, Neji's nosebleed stopped and Shikamaru came to life again. Sasuke had already left the flowers at Sakura's door then he rang the doorbell.
They hid again. And waited and waited and waited.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"THANK YOU GAARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sasuke fainted.
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"Tsk...tsk....I know this is going to happen." Shikamaru said.
"Huh?" big question marks appeared above Naruto and Neji's heads.
"Gaara is also wearing white shorts and blue polo. Here...." Shikamaru explained. Then he drew Sasuke and Gaara on his whiteboard (God-knows-where he got this) wearing the exact same outfits.
"See?"
Neji and Naruto are laughing. "Haha," Naruto laughed. "Spot the difference."
Neji's eyes widened.
Pointed at something.
"It's rude to point! Didn't I already tell you that? I pity Mrs. Hyuuga."
Neji punched Naruto. "Shut up! Look! Sakura and Gaara are leaving!!"
"Oh no..."
________________________________________

















Mission no. 2: Make Sakura realize that Gaara is a jerk (and a suicidal).
Location: Mall
Sasuke asked four random people to give Sakura strips of paper. Then they hide.
Asset no. 1: Ice cream vendor
"Oh Gaara, I want ice cream!" Sakura energetically said and dragged Gaara to the ice cream vendor. Gaara bought Sakura a vanilla-flavored ice cream. As they are about to leave, the ice cream vendor handed Sakura a note. Sakura looked confused but she read the note as well.
"Your date," she read and Gaara's eyebrow, oh sorry, he doesn't have an eyebrow, "Has no eyebrows." Sakura's forehead creased and she looked at Gaara.
Eyes? Check.
Nose? Check
Ears? Check
Lips? Check.
Eyebrows? Gah! He doesn't have!!!
"Why, why do you have no eyebrows?" Sakura asked dumbfounded. She only noticed it now.
"Uh...uh...." Oh my God. I'll kill the jerk who thought of this. "It's because, it's because I-I donated it, right! To a, to a cancer patient!"
Silence.
Eyebrows twitched.
Silence.
Ice cream falls.
Silence.
"Huh?"
"Yeah. And at that time, L-Lee was a cancer patient. I donated my eyebrows to him. So l-look, now he has thick eyebrows!" he smiled nervously. God...
Silence.
"Oh!" Sakura smiled. "Okay! Besides, you look cuter with no eyebrows! Let's go!"
Whew! Saved by Lee and his thick eyebrows!
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Behind the ice cream vendor...
"Cancer patient? What the heck! I swear Sakura is too dumb to believe it!" (Traumatic Shikamaru)
"Haha...Sasuke, donate the hairs in your nostrils too! Haha!" (Naruto joking)
"Yeah, then I'll glue them on his forehead so he'll now have eyebrows." (Honest Sasuke. Remember children, honesty is the best policy!)
"Let's go guys!" (Neji)
________________________________________
























Asset no. 2: Jollibee attendant

Gaara urged Sakura to eat her lunch now. They went to Jollibee (BEE HAPPY!) and ordered. When they got their orders, the attendant handed Sakura a note again.
"What's that?!!" Gaara inquired. Oh no! Another one! "Wait. Your date," Fuck. "Still loves teddy bears."
Sakura stared at Gaara.
Stare.
Sweat dropped.
Stare.
Sweat dropped.
Stare.
Sweat dropped.
"OH! HOW CUTE!!!" then she hugged Gaara like he's a giant teddy bear.
"Hehe....yeah..."
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At a nearby table....
"I'm speechless..." (Cries)
"No comment..." (A very showbusiness answer)
"What if I say that my favorite song is still Twinkle Twinkle little Star, that I have a collection of Barney merchandise at home, that I hug Spongebob every night before I go to sleep and that some of my shirts have Carebears design on it? Will she like me for that?" (Whew...)
Silence.
"You act like a five-year-old, Sasuke." (Mommy Neji scolds Baby Sasuke)
"That is because I look like a five-year-old,"
"Whatever. Let's go."
________________________________________








Asset no. 3: Saleslady
Sakura went to the department store and browsed through its racks obviously making Gaara bored but nonetheless happy because he's with Sakura. Then a saleslady handed another note to Sakura which made Gaara frown. Damn that paper. Fuck it.
Sakura clumsily opened the folded paper and read it. "Your date," Shit. "Loves his nanny so much that until now he still cries at night holding his teddy bear while singing..."
"Asereje."
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Sakura frowns and raises eyebrows so high.
Shit.
Shit.
Bingo, haha.
Sakura's mine.
Oh. My. God.
Silence.
"I don't know that you also like Asereje! That's my favorite song! We're just so compatible!" (Hugs Gaara) Gaara smiles.
Background Music: Asereje
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In the fitting room...
"I don't know that they both have a very bad taste in music. (Bah! That's because Shikamaru's fave song is Chocolate)
"Hahaha! You know Sasuke; I can teach you the Asereje dance moves." (Dances like crazy)
"But seriously, Asereje is a very good song. I remembered dancing to its tune once every night." (Haha! Hail to the ULFA! United Love For Asereje!!)
"Eww. You're grossing me out. And it's too hot in here. Let's go out." (BOO! Neji is a KJ! Short for Killjoy)














________________________________________
After getting out...
"NOW! Sabaku no Gaara, prepare for the final blow!!!" (Then poses)
1st pose: Charlie's Angels
"Hey, who am I?"
"You're Charlie or better yet you're the radio which serves as the communication line between Charlie and his angels."
Naruto poses as a radio.
(Changes pose)
2nd pose: Powerpuff Girls
"Hey, why am I not included??"
"You can be Professor Utonium or Mojo Jojo."
Naruto poses as a monkey. Hey, there's no difference.
(Changes pose)
3rd pose: Totally Spies
"WHO AM I?????"
"You can be Jerry."
Naruto poses as Jerry.
(Changes pose)
4th pose: Fantastic Four
"This is the real deal!!"
"But you're the thing!"
Naruto poses as The Thing.
And the last and the best....
(Changes pose)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!
"I'm Donatello!"
"I'm Michelangelo!!"
"I'm Leonardo!"
"I'm Raphael!"
"We're the teenagers!!" (Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru)
"And I'm the mutant ninja turtle!!" (Naruto! Ha! I'm solo!)
"And we're the..."
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!"
Silence.
Silence.
"SECURITY!!!!"
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Asset no. 4: Security Guard
Before leaving the mall, Gaara and Sakura were stopped by the security guard and handed her a note. One last.
"Again?" Sakura asked. On the back, it says that "This is the final blow." Then...
"Your date," Again? "Is a total jerk and you deserve someone better then him."
Bullshit.
"And that someone is me."
Mission no. 3: Tell her what you really feel.