insight in Alice's suicide
Remember to read the correction of the chapter before this one, the one I had posted twice? I arranged that, so check it out, it's under the same name. Once again, sorry for the mistake.
Allison and Daniel returned to The Used's tour bus alter an hour and a half of chatting with Frank and Ray. Actually, it had been an hour and a half of Ray and Allison talking while Frank and Daniel exchanged words from time to time. Allison had forgotten completely of how uncomfortable Daniel must've been feeling and it had taken her all if that time in noticing. As soon as she did, though, she wrapped up her talk with Ray quickly, promising to talk again tomorrow.
"I'm sorry" She apologized, squeezing Daniel's hand tighter as they made their way pass roadies and band members.
"It's okay" He replied quietly, kicking a cigarette's butt.
"This must've been pretty hard on you, isn't it?" Allison had the guts to ask. Daniel shifted his attention from the gravel to her attentive eyes, and stared hard as if uncertain of how to board the subject.
"Yes" was all he could manage to say. He released Allison's hand and started rubbing his temples as they went up the stairs. That mean extreme tension for Daniel, Allison started to sweat a bit I preoccupation.
"Thank God you guys came, we were calling your cell phones-"an anxious Jepha said as he showed them their cell phones on his hand, "Wasn't much use"
"Yeah, sorry man. What's up?" Daniel asked as entered the bus.
"It's time for us to go to the next stop, start moving...you know" Dan explained from the couch. He was watching Gene Simmons' School of Rock II.
"Oh, right..." Daniel said and walked to the kitchen, he was searching through the cabinets as the tour bus engine ignited, shifting everything out of place and hastily re-accommodating it.
"Pills are on the bathroom. Aspirins" Allison replied as she took the place next to Dan on the couch and stared at the screen, "No Comment, I don't like the name they chose for the band"
"Yeah, me neither" Dan replied, pointing at the smallest kid in the group, "I love that shorty there, though. He's awesome"
"Right..." Daniel mumbled and walked to the bathroom.
"What's up with him?" Jepha asked Allison.
"Oh...It's a long story...sort of. Where's Bert?" She asked, shifting her attention from the screen.
"Erm, lying on his bunk as always" Quinn responded once he swallowed his bite of turkey sandwich.
"Well, you see...I'm Ray Toro's cousin." Allison explained.
"No way!" They said in unison. Dan put the TV on mute so they could have a normal conversation.
"Way" Allison replied, and then asked, "Is he in My Chemical Romance?"
The guys looked at her in disbelief, and responded only when they noticed Allison wasn't kidding around.
"Yeah, he's the lead guitar" Quinn responded.
"Oh.." Allison said, rearranging her bangs.
Daniel walked in and threw himself in Allison's lap.
"OUCH!" She shrieked out of shock, and then started grooming Daniel's hair with her fingers.
The guys looked away in embarrassment.
'/So...Ray ray's in My Chem...cool/' Allison thought to herself.
Ben looked at the important-looking letter on his fingers. He hadn't had the guts to open it yet. It had been roaming under his mattress and thoughts for the past week, and he still hadn't opened it.
He was scared.
The letter was from the department in charge of looking after Alice's death; Alice's family had been sending a copy of their reports so he could be informed of everything that had happened. They seemed to think that there was something shabby about Alice's death.
Sure, she was under a lot of stress.
She had 'recently' left drugs.
She was a rock star, for heaven's sake.
But still, there was something out of place.
Five years and some more had happened and the department still hadn't made much progress. But what scared him of this letter was that, contrary to the ones before it, it was extremely thick and heavy.
His fingers trembled as he opened the envelope. Inside was...
and a notebook.
Ben raised an eyebrow as he skimmed through the notebook, it seemed to be a diary and on certain pages there were things that seemed to be songs. The letter was certainly intriguing as well.
I've thought of doing this a long time ago, I'll be surprised with myself if I ever get through it.
How pathetic is that?
There are a lot of things that have crossed my mind.
I mean, is there really a reason to keep living?
I don't think so.
Everything I've ever loved can go through without me.
I'm stupid bitch without a brain or a functioning heart.
My brothers can do well without me
My band mates are better off without me
Ben'll be a happier dude without me
Gerard doesn't give a shit about me
He'll be happier when I'm dead and gone
Bert'll find someone less depressing to talk to
Seriously, I'm doing no harm to anyone.
I truly believe that, I really do...
The letter continued but Ben couldn't make himself to continue to read it. He picked out the important-looking one, the one from the department itself. He started skimming through it, his eyes reading quickly. After reading it for ten minutes over and over again he made up his mind and took his cell phone and dialled up Bert's number. He explained the whole situation to Bert,
"THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" He yelled, lungs out aving his hands up in the air in frustration.
"Bert, calm down-" Ben tried to settle him a bit taking a gulp from his own vodka cup.
"YOU'RE telling ME to CALM THE FUCK DOWN? BEN! YOU'VE SAID THE WORDS THAT'LL FINALLY GIVE ME A REASON TO KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER! I SWEAR TO GOD!!" Bert yelled as he lifted himself from his bunk, hitting himself on the head. I swear to God, every person who's ever slept in a bunk more than once has a crack on their skull for all the times they've hit themselves with the upper bunk's rim.
"I KNOW BERT!
It was MINE for heaven's SAKE! I'M the one who should be SHAKEN UP! And I am KILLING the bastard as soon as I see him, I don't need YOU to FREAK OUT AS WELL!" Ben yelled back at him, he had forgotten completely his former decision of not explaining everything to Bert. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Bert was silent.
"What do you mean it was /yours/?" Bert asked his respiration ragged.
"You know I had been with Alice, don't you?" Ben said, playing with the notebook's rings as he spoke.
"Yeah...I just didn't know that you and her ever..." Bert trailed off, staring into the distance.
"fucked? Well,yeah" Ben spat, taking another gulp out of his glass and letting the notebook on the mattress.
"So...it was yours? Are they /positive/?" Bert asked, passing a hand through his greasy now blonde hair.
"Yeah, the baby was mine"
I told you drama was about to build up, didn't I?