Huge people and the small people who punch them.
I was beginning to think Gerard's drinking problem wasn't completly my fault, I mean I grew up, I let go of my fantasy and was ready to face real life with him but he kept escaping it by drinking.
And I followed him and after a while ran away too, I refused to see there was a problem.
I tried not to think of it and occupy myself with other things, I turned into the guys unofficial tour manager, I drove them around, promoted them over the Internet, did their first photo shoot, helped them with their make up and clothes, checked them in motels, and even learned how to tune the guitars.
I was having fun but at the end of the day I had to admit I did it to escape the reality.
I decided that the next time we'll have a break and and go home, I'm not going back on tour with them, it was easier to pretend Gerard doesn't have any drinking problems, that he wasn't depressed, that I couldn't help him with anything at home.
Our roles changed, he was the troubled one and I was keeping everything to myself so I wouldn't hurt him or break his heart or push him into having another drink.
We parked in front of a small venue, I went to the back door but it was locked, I pushed and pulled, it was still closed.
I frowned but figured we could just enter the front door.
So Frank and I went around, there was a huge line and one gigantic bouncer.
We walked past the angry people who stood in line and were about to walk past the huge bouncer when he stopped Frankie by the collar and threw him back.
"We're the band", I had to really lift my eyes to look into his.
"And I'm the front man", he smirked at me from up there.
"Actually he is", I pointed to Gerard who was helping Bob to unload some of the equipment.
"I don't care little girl", he turned back to his bouncer duties.
Little girl? Well I guess even basketball players looked like ants from that height.
"But we're the fucking band! We have to enter!", I jumped up and down and waved my arms, some people laughed but at least I caught his attention, I should have brought my red flag.
"And I'm the fucking bouncer and I say you can't", he bended over to be at my eye level, I don't think he could manage that even if he bent in 3.
"Please sir, we're..well they're my chemical romance, they perform here and the back door is closed", I put up my girly show.
"I don't care if they're the rolling stones, everyone who enters the front has to pay", he motioned to the crowd.
"Fine!", I pouted, "How much?".
"50 bucks each", he smirked...I think he smirked, he was just so fucking tall and huge! I bet small animals mistake him for a fucking mountain and try to build their nest up there.
I went back to the guys who were listening to Frankie's stories about how he punched the bouncer and how I was talking him out of suing Frankie for his broken teeth, "So here I was lying on the ground", he lay on the ground, "and he was standing above me and then he laughed and I was like oh yeah motherfucker? Then I jumped up", he jumped off the ground and kicked the air, "and kicked him in the mouth and he kinda looks at me and holds his mouth and there's blood every fucking where and now I laugh, right?. So he kinda sobs and says he will sue the fuck out of me and I just laugh and walk away. You should have seen it, my left kick was fucking amazing and then my right punch it was like, take this fucking shit!", Frankie made some ninja moves, he was kicking and punching the air enthusiastically.
I don't think they believed him, Gerard and Mikey were too wasted, Bob smirked and Ray had food in his hands.
"SO I did convince him not to sue you", I said sarcastically, "But he wants 50 bucks from each of us".
"Did you tell him we're the motherfucking band?", Bob exclaimed.
I nodded, "He said anyone who's entering from the front door has to pay".
"Fuck", Bob cried, "We don't have enough and we still have one more show to drive to".
"I won't go in, there's 50 bucks less", I shrugged.
"We still don't have enough", Bob seemed to calculate something in his mind, "We need Gerard and we need the bass and we need the drums, we sure need the leading guitar, maybe we can pass on the rhythm guitar?!", he eyed Frankie.
"What?! No! You can't pass on the rhythm guitar! The rhythm guitar is fucking important! pass on the leading guitar or on the bass or the fucking vocals!", Frankie waved his hands in Bob's face.
"It's your fault he made us pay, if you hadn't punched him", Bob was smirking, "We could just come in without problems".
"I didn't punch him! I swear I didn't! Sky was there, she'll tell you!", he pushed me on Bob, "Tell him, tell him I didn't Punch him".
Poor Frankie was digging his own grave, "He didn't punch the bouncer".
"You lied?! How could you lie?!", Bob was pretending to be shocked but Frankie didn't notice that he's being teased, "I don't think liars deserve to play tonight, what about you guys?".
They all murmured and pushed past me and Frankie who was yelling 'motherfucking bitches' after them.
Gerard gave me a kiss, I could taste the liquor on his lips, he didn't know how much he hurt me by getting drunk, I was constantly battling with the feeling that he didn't care enough to stop.
Frankie and I sat on the hood of the van, eating the junk food we bought in the gas station and drank coffee, we watched people come in and out.
It was a strange place to be performing in, it was in the middle of the desert, it had only a gas station near the venue, parked cars and then a whole lot of nothing.
"He's not getting better", I tried distract Frankie from glaring in the venue's direction every time the audience cheered.
"Who?", he tore his eyes from the bouncer.
"Gerard, you said that if I come with you he'll get better", I shrugged.
"He is, he usually much worse, now he's drunk only like 85 per fucking cent of the time", he finished the bag of chips by himself.
"You fucking suck at math", I smiled at him a bitter smile.
"Well, it was nice having you", he leaned back, "It was just like old times. Do you remember the good times in high school when it was just the 6 of us being idiots?".
I laughed, "How can you put good times and high school in the same sentence?".
"You know what I mean", he made a face.
"It's still the 6 of us being idiots", I commented.
"But it's different now", he pouted.
"It has to be different sunshine, we're older now", I sipped my coffee.
"I feel the same", he smirked.
"Well you're a lot more in touch with your feelings now", I giggled.
"I am not! It's just that...that...oh well as long as you're not telling anyone", he mumbled