I kissed your lips and I tasted blood.
I asked you what happend and you said there'd been a fight.
You said "I've been fighting for you honor but you wouldn't understand."
I tore the headphones out of my ears and fell back onto my bed; staring at the nicotene stained ceiling. The kids were at Mikey and Alicia's and Gerard had already started shooting up with Ray in the living room.
Turning over onto my side, I sighed. I didn't want to get baked, I just wanted sleep. Exhaustion was overcoming me and just as my eyelids started making their way towards closed, Gerard burst through the door; beer bottle in his hand.
"Hey, get up." He said, setting his beer down on the dresser beside the door.
"What for?" I asked, not looking his way, praying he'd just leave me alone.
Gerard sighed impatiantly and layed down beside me, his face inches from mine. "Because, you havn't done anything today."
"I really don't want to Gee, you and Ray go ahead. I just want to go to sleep, will you wake me up when we have to leave?"
His face stiffened and his eyebrows began to arch, telling me that I wasn't getting out of this.
"Come one, you'll feel better once you got some blow flowing through your veins."
I sighed in defeat and weakly pushed my tired body into a sitting position.
Gerard hopped off the bed and stood in front of me, taking hold of my hands and pulling me up off the bed.
"You won't last all night if you don't shoot up. C'mon."
He took me by the hand and led me into the living room, where Ray was sitting, holding the leather strap secured tightly around his arm.
Ray gave me a nod and let his head fall back down into his chest.
Gerard led me to the couch, gently pushing me into a sitting position on the very edge of the tattered material.
"Here," He said, handing me a mirror coated with the deadly substance, "hold this still, k?"
I nodded and watched as he picked a spot on my arm and quickly tied his black leather belt round my skin; cutting off all circulation in my arm.
Gerard took the mirror from my hands and I immidiatly closed my eyes, awaiting my daily dosage of misery.
The light prick of the needle sent shivers up my spine as the venom made it's way into my bloodstream; coating my sanity with it's potency.
I opened my eyes and looked at Gerard as he put threw the syrenge onto the coffee table. He took my face into his hands and kissed my lips softly.
"Let it devour you, Natasha."
Let it devour you. Suck the life out of you. Kill everything good inside of you.
His words echoed inside my skull, mixing with the chemicals, brewing something sacred right inside of my head.
I was slipping deep into the lull of the heroin, when Gerard scooped me up into his arms.
I could feel his footsteps as we neered our bedroom door.
I opened my eyes to look at him, but he ran his fingers along my lids, shutting them like I was already dead.
The softness of our bed surrounded me and I felt the springs give just a little bit more as the inside of Gerard's thighs pressed against the outsides of mine.
His lips crushed against mine, carressing the softness of my lips with the slightly chapped skin of his.
I opened my eyes and stared at him hovering above me, his unwashed black hair falling in his face, slightly covering those hazel eyes that made my heart beat rapidly.
Gerard examined my face with his eyes, searching over each feature with his finger tips.
I shuddered under his touch as he gently kissed my lips once more.
His hands began to travel up the sides of my body and underneath my t-shirt, when Ray burst through the door.
"What the fuck man??" Gerard yelled, leaping off of the bed and shoving Ray against the door.
"Gerard...there's....guys...they say....you owe....them." Ray's nose was bleeding underneath the hand he was holding against it to keep the flow to a minimum.
Gerard groaned, "Stay in here with Natasha, I'll go out and see what they want." He pulled on a hoodie and slammed the bedroom door behind him, leaving Ray and I to our heroin paranoia.
"Tsk, Ray, come here." I said, getting up off the bed, "Your nose looks awful, let me help you."
Ray sat down on the edge of the bed while I got a wet wash cloth from the bathroom.
"Here, take your hand away." I said, holding the cloth in my hand, ready to wipe away the damage.
He removed his hand and I cleaned the excess blood away from his now purple nose. " I don't think it's broken, just bruised. I'll get you some ice when Gerard comes back. Keep the wash cloth on it."
"I have no fucking idea who those guys are. They're not guys I've sent to Gerard, that's for sure." Ray said, his voice nasal sounding through the wet washed cloth pressed against his nose.
"They're all the same Ray, Gerard'll handle whoever it is. I don't really care right now." I said, rubbing my aching forehead.
We could hear Gerard arguing with the men out in the front yard; other than that, it was silent.
Ray sighed, "Natasha, I'm sorry for this. I never thought it would go this far."
"Oh Ray, don't worry about it. It's not your fault, you were just trying to help" I said, trying my best to not sound as angry as I was at him for getting us into it.
It was after, his fault. I would never tell him that though, Ray was far too gentle a soul to be able to handle the truth of him ruining his best friend's life. I suppose we didn't have to take it as far as we did, that was purely our fault; but he certainly did start it all.
A retched feeling overcame me as I sat on that bed, next to a bleeding Ray. A heaviness pressing against my chest and tears welling up in my throat, creating a very uncomfortable lump. My breathing quickend as the lump grew larger and my stomach inched further and further towards it.
I pressed my hand to my mouth and rushed to the bathroom, hovering over the beige porcelin, watching the contents of my stomach swim around in dirty water. My heartbeat lowered a bit, as I let my body slide to the cold tile, my head hitting it with a loud thud.
I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my brain swam around inside my skull. Little blotches of dingy colours flashed on the inside of my eyelids as my skin pressed against the green tile.
Gerard's words washed over and over inside my mind: Let It Devour You.
Thanks to all that reviewed!
But, I would love more. I mean, if you're gonna' read it, the least you could do is tell me what you think.