read and find out =]
A lot of people say that when a friend commits suicide or goes insane, when you think back you can often pick out signs. But thinking back No one could really see any signs. It was if she became a whole other person.
At first they thought about naming her other self Beauty, like the media did. But they canceled that one out for the real her was beautiful, not that other part. They decided they would name her Toxic. It was fitting seeing the band name meant Toxic and so did her real name.
And just like a deadly toxin, beauty and obsession had seeped into her veins. Had caused her paranoia and disillusion in her last few moments as a living breathing body. Just a body though, no soul.
No signs were seen of her inner struggle. If she screamed, nobody ever heard them. She kept her lips locked. Maybe there were no signs because she knew this was going to happen. Maybe it was because she knew it was her fight to end like this she didn't bother trying to stop it.
She believed in fate her whole life. There had to be significance to a meeting. It couldn't just be pointless. She believed you could change someone's life from a simple hello. She always wanted to be the person to say Hello and change that other person's life.
She didn't want change in her life. Change had always scared her. Change scares even the bravest of people at times. Tossico was not all that brave, she just did what she needed to survive and get by. Maybe that wasn't enough; maybe what she did was never enough.
The teacher slammed the test paper down on her desk. "I want to see you after class." He said quietly. She nodded and looked at the paper and immediately got confused. 84% wasn't that good? Maybe it wasn't good enough.
She waited until the rest of the class filed out of the doors and approached her teacher's desk. "Is there something you wanted?" She asked. The teacher sighed and came around from his desk and leaned against it.
"Tossico, I know you can do better then that. I know 84 is a good mark, but you can do better! All of us teachers agree that you're not trying enough." He said putting his hand on her shoulder. Maybe it was her imagination, but it felt like he was rubbing her bra strap.
"Um ok. Thank you." She turned away and headed to the door. He grabbed her hair. "Not so fast." He pushed her down against his desk and leaned over her, sliding his hand up her shirt. "Maybe I'll have to show just how important this matter it."
After he left she thought that maybe if she had been stronger. Maybe if she had done better. Maybe she could have avoided that. Maybe she could have avoided loosing her virginity. Maybe she could have avoided being raped in an empty class room.
The next day, her teacher didn't show up for class.
Sometimes you take drives just because. And sometimes those drives turn out to be very long. People take those drives because they are depressed and they need a way to clear there minds. Sometimes those drives just make you more depressed.
Gerard figured just for a little while he needed to be by himself. So he got in his car and just started driving. He thought about everything. He thought about his band, his family his friends.
He thought about his past with Tossico, and his future without her. And then he just thought about Tossico. He stopped thinking. He came here to clear his head, not fill it with faded memories that he was trying to wipe from his mind.
He turned on a cd, he didn't even look to see what was in, he just turned it on. Amada Palmer's voice flooded threw the car, it was Tossico's cd. "Dear Mr. and or Mrs. sender, please to inform your that your applications been accepted, starting from the time you get this letter your life will be one never ending hope you feeling better." The song started.
Gerard pulled over the car and shut everything off. His head was leaning against the steering wheel and he may or may not have noticed it, but he was crying.
"Gerard!" She screamed as she ran down the stairs. "Gerard I got tickets to The Dresden Dolls concert! Will you go with me?" She asked skidding to a halt in front of him holding up the two tickets.
"Fuck yeah!" Gerard said. She clapped excitedly. "Let's go!" She said and proceeding in pulling him towards the door. "What you mean its tonight." She nodded and just pulled on him harder.
Once they got there they went straight in and sat down with the rest of the crowd. A few kids came up to them for there autograph and they gladly signed them. Then the show started.
In the middle of the show they played "Girl Anachronism" which was Tossico's favorite song. She stood up and starting screaming out the lyrics, not caring about how bad she sounded while doing it.
At that moment Gerard realized he was completely in love with her.