stolen food. mistaken identity.
I kind of LOVE you guys.
04: J e w i s h t a q u i t o
"Where's Trohman?" I asked as we walked to the venue. My snack bag was suspiciously light and I had seen Joe eyeing my fajitas.
"Iono," Pete said, holding Hemmingway by the leash. "I think he was getting some food or something."
"That bitch..." I said, looking through my bag. "HE STOLE MY TAQUITOS!"
"My taquitos!" I yelled. Hemmingway barked, pulling against the leash.
"What the fuck is a taquito?"
"It's a Mexican dish consisting of a small rolled up tortilla and some sort of filling, usually beef or chicken," I explained. "...And Joe stole mine!"
"Well, let's get them back," he said with his trademark Wentz smirk.
I followed Pete as he got back on the bus. Opening one of the kitchen cabinets, he pulled out a Super Soaker.
"Here you go," he said handing it to me. "Now...Where'd you put the video camera?"
"On top of the Wii." He grabbed it while Hemmy lunged at me.
"Dude, what's in this thing?" I asked referring to the brown liquid leaking out of the water gun.
"Meat juice from the dog food."
"How the fuck do you come up with this shit?"
"What can I say?" He chuckled. "I'm a fucking genius."
Pete aimed the camera at me as I stood against the bunk area door.
"This is how we make a Jewish taquito," I whispered into the camera.
I burst through the door and sprayed meat juice onto Joe.
At least, I thought it was Joe...
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
That's what I woke up to.
Groaning, I turned to my side and observed the scene unfolding below my bunk. Soap was on the floor, covered in some kind of brown liquid. Hemmingway was on top of Soap, licking the brown liquid off her face. Dirty stood in the doorway, laughing with a Super Soaker in hand. And Pete was getting all of this on tape.
"Dirty, you fucktard!" she scrambled to her feet and lunged at him.
"Fuck, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he pleaded. "I thought you were Joe!"
"Do I look like Trohman to you?!" she asked, slapping him.
As they rolled around on the bunk area floor, Joe emerged from the bathroom.
"Oh shit," he said trying to fan out the bathroom. "That's the last time I eat taquitos... Woah, what happened to you guys?"
A devious grin formed on Soap's face as she stood up.
"Dirty?" she asked, wiping off her face.
"Hand me the Super Soaker."
Dirty did as he was told, grabbing the water gun off the floor and tossing it to her. Joe tried to run off the bus, but Andy caught him.
Within seconds he was covered in dog food drippings.
And lucky for him, there was still a hungry dog on the bus.
Hemmingway pounced onto Joe, knocking him to the floor.
"Ugh..." he groaned. "Yeah, that's definitely the last time I eat taquitos."
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