sno cones and fuzzy kittens for the following:
I made this chapter super long and super funny especially for you reviewers.
06: S t o c k h o l m s y n d r o m e
"Just when I thought that things couldn't get any more boring..." I mumbled to myself.
After staring out the bus window for almost an hour, cornfields and windmills were still the only things staring back at me.
/You wanna know what we say in the club? (ay bay bay)
White folks, gangstas and them thugs (ay bay bay)/
I broke my gaze with the passing trees and fished the cell phone out of my pocket.
I smiled. Gabe must've programmed himself into my contacts.
"Hola, mi amor." He chuckled at my greeting. "What's up?"
"Meh. Bus ride is really boring, so I decided to call my favorite señorita." I smiled at the comment. "So what's up on the FOB bus?"
"Not much... Joe and Andy are jumping around, playing Guitar Hero. Pete's playing with Hemmy. Patrick's belting out show tunes."
"I'm talking to some sexy fucker."
"Sounds like fun!" he said, enthusiastically.
"Who is it?" I heard someone faintly ask.
"Ooh, gimme the phone."
"But I'm talking to her!"
"Hey Soap! It's Vicky!"
"Did you just beat up Gabe for the phone?"
"Yeah, I'm sitting on his skinny ass as we speak."
"I have a very bodacious ass, thank you very much," Gabe protested.
"Haha, that's great," I said, chuckling.
I've only known them about a week, but Vicky and Gabe were already on my list of favorite people.
"We've gotta hang ASAP."
"For sure. This sausage fest is boring me," I said, looking around.
"You just read my mind, Soap...Ow, stop that!"
"Gimme the phone and I will."
"Stop being a bitch!"
"You're the one being a bitch, bitch!"
"Soap, Vicky's gonna grab the phone from me any second now, so I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. We have to hang out soon, and no matter what Vicky says, I have a very voluptuous ass--"
"Okay, okay! Take it!"
"I call dibs on you once we get to the hotel."
"That can be arranged."
"Crap, gotta go. Gabe's going through my underwear."
" 'Kay. Bye."
Within half an hour or so, we pulled up in front of a Holiday Inn. The driver wasn’t even done parking, but that didn’t stop me from grabbing my bags and hopping off the bus.
After being stuck on a smelly bus for 6 hours, fresh air was a Godsend.
I waited outside of the hotel lobby as the huge vehicle came to a complete stop.
“Soap, you’re insane,” Joe said, carrying his stuff off the bus. “Couldn’t you wait until the bus stopped moving?”
“I could‘ve, but where‘s the fun in that?”
Andy, Patrick, Pete and Dirty filed off the bus after him, then we all headed inside.
As soon as the guys and I checked in at the front desk, I found myself thrown over someone's shoulder and heading for an elevator.
"Gaaaabe!" Vicky yelled. "I called dibs on her!"
"All's fair in love and kidnapping!" he yelled, steel doors closing as he did so.
He leaned against the wall, squishing my head against his back.
"Gabe, what the hell?! Move!" I said, while his Clandestine hoody muffled my voice. However, my plea for air sounded more like "Abe, ut dallel?! Mooo!"
"Shit, sorry," he said, stepping forward. "Forgot you were there for a second." I rolled my eyes as he set me down.
"What are you planning on doing with me?" I asked.
"Just having some spectacular-awesome-amazing fun."
"Where do we begin?"
"My room... and no we're not gonna get it on," he said, wagging his finger at me. "Your boyfriend, Jesus, wouldn't be too pleased with that, but I promise it will be the funnest afternoon ever."
"Wait, you know about me and Andy?" I asked.
"Kinda walked in on you guys all hot and heavy, but you were too busy sucking face to notice," he said chuckling.
"Did you tell--"
"Your secret's safe with me. Just remember to lock the door next time."
With a ding! the elevator doors slid open. Gabe led me to his room then quickly started grabbing "party supplies."
“Sure, this is the right room?”
“Yeah,” Gabe said, nodding.
"Oh man, Panic's gonna hate us..."
I knocked on the door while Gabe cleared his throat.
"Maid service," he said in a surprisingly feminine voice.
Within seconds, Ryan opened the door. "What the--"
We barged in, covering everything in streams of pink and yellow silly string. Jon and Spencer chased Gabe around the room while I jumped onto Brendon's back and covered his eyes.
"Soaaaaaap!" he groaned, spinning around. I have no idea what possessed him to do that, but I guess he thought I'd get off his back if he did.
"Yes, Brendon?" I innocently asked.
"Could you get off me?"
"But I'm a very fragile guy."
"That might be true, but the answer's still no."
"C'mon, If you don't, I'm gonna end up dropping you," he said, still spinning.
"I'll take that risk."
"Ughh..." he said, stopping. He wobbled as he tried to regain balance.
"Fine, I'll make you a deal. If you can walk in a straight line for 5 steps, I'll leave you alone."
As he walked forward, he was surprisingly steady.
I had successfully walked him into a wall. Laughing, I quickly jumped off his back and pointed my can of silly string at him. He was still somewhat disoriented, so it wasn't too hard to dodge his grabs.
"COBRA FOREVERRR!" Gabe yelled, throwing a plastic snake at Ryan's head.
After invading everyone else's rooms-- successfully prettifying them with the colors of the rainbow-- Gabe and I grabbed some beach gear and headed to the pool.
"What are you doing?" I asked, jumping around in the water. He was fiddling with something in his bag.
"Catch," he said, tossing a ping pong paddle my way.
"What exactly am I supposed to do with this?"
He got into the pool, holding the other paddle and a Jell-O cup.
"We're going to play the first ever game of Jell-O pool pong." He peeled off the plastic and slid the cherry Jell-O out of the cup. Tossing the cup aside, he threw the Jell-O straight up, then smacked it with the paddle.
Once the jiggly red substance made contact with the wood, it splattered everywhere, leaving chunks all over the place.
"Wait, lemme try," I said.
We went through a 12-pack of the cherry before coming to the conclusion that Jell-O doesn't bounce off wood.
"Maybe we should try it with the packaging on," I suggested.
I grabbed one of the cups and served it toward him. It flew through the air and with a /slap!/, made contact with Gabe's chest.
"OW!" He yelped. "Soap, you're gonna pay."
"Oh shit!" I laughed.
I tried swimming away, but Gabe was too fast. He came up from behind and dunked my head underwater.
As my head reached the surface, I gasped for air.
"Asshole!" I yelled.
"Bitch!" he retorted.
For the next few minutes, we both laughed uncontrollably.
"Soap, you're an idiot."
"And you love me for it."
We got out of the pool and gathered our stuff.
"Do you think we should clean up?" I asked, pointing to the pool, which was covered in Jell-O chunks.
"Nah," he said, shaking his head. "If anything, we can blame it on Pete and Dirty."
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PS. go download 'A Bay Bay' by Hurricane Chris. =P