(#) Ender_Wiggin 2008-04-02Well I've just finished with what you've written so far and I must say that this a truly intriguing piece pf fiction. At this point, my mind is running through so many various scenarios and possible plot lines that I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment.
As for criticism, I really don't have any. Sure, there's been the occasional misspelling, but it's a rarity. The basic plot line has been done before, yet you've approached it from a very creative angle. Most stories that share a plot line usually end up sharing more than that. You've avoided doing so here and I have to applaud your originality for that.
Now I don't no if this will be addressed later on in the story or not, but it did spark my curiosity. Will we be seeing what the reaction to Harry's attempted suicide was in his old dimension? I admit, it's driving me crazy at this point.
Anyway, great work so far. You've definitely got me hooked.
Author's responseThanks for reviewing. One of the basics of this story was to take the almost cliched Time Travel/Alternate Dimension plot and use it to tell a totally different type of story. There will be parallels to the canon story, such as Sirius being freed as well as the Ginny and Luna subplots but I am hoping to give a different spin to it.
As for what's going on in the old reality, my brain has already started plotting out a sequel that will never be written. Harry gets a Hapily Ever After in this world but just as his first child is about to be born he is pulled back into the old world. It seems that a new Dark Threat has arisen and Hermione has decided that Harry is the only one who can fight it. So she studies necromancy to bring him back from the dead to do it. All for the "Greater Good" of course. In the intervening time the good relationshiips between the characters have eroded due to their own feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Ron is cheating on Hermione but that is alright because she is also cheating on him with her boss the Minister of Magic who happens to be Percy Weasley. Ginny has turned into a spiteful cow miserable in her marriage to Neville and angry at Harry for not fighting for her when he was there. In general Harry wants nothing more than to return to the reality he left behind but won't be allowed to. They all went out of their way to blame all their problems on Harry when he was alive but decay in their own corruption when he is gone. BJH
- Preachy Harry is OK. He is teaching. Something canon!Hoggy knows almost nothing about.
He is, at least, educating Herms as to why he was not Dark (although she is not the one who falsely accused him). I can not believe that you have Ginny, in fifth year(?), still writing in the diary. How has it not taken her over and brought out the CoS? I trust that you will have a explaination coming up.
It is sad that there is no love in Harry's life and Cissy has to suck on youth potion to maintain her self image. I hope that there is a serious ship for Harry somewhere in this story, even if it is Cissy growing up. Fleur would be a nice catch, and Tonks is closer to his age now. The story doesn't need a Harry ship, I just see Harry as living such a loveless life for so long, I always want him to have a love (or two or three).
Very good story. I'm not looking ahead, but I hope I don't run out of chapters any time soon.
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