double trouble. part two.
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09: g a y r o d e o
"ANDY!" I yelled. We were all backstage getting ready for our set when he tripped and spilled food all over my jeans.
"Ahhhh! My awesome loaf!" he said, mourning over his lunch.
"Forget your food, it looks like someone took a dump on me!"
I could hear Gabe singing the last lines of "Bring It," signaling the end of their set.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Dirty, keep the crowd occupied!"
"But my hair!"
He reluctantly walked out onto the stage and got everyone riled up for our set.
While I was freaking out over my appearance, Soap caught my eye. She was sitting on one of the couches, chatting with Ryan.
"Yeah?" she said, turning her head in my direction.
"Could you grab me some pants from my dressing room?"
"Um, sure." She disappeared into the hallway, then returned with jeans in hand.
"You're a lifesaver, Soap." I slipped off my freshly vegan-ized pants and quickly slipped on the denim that she was holding.
"Hurry up, Pete!" Patrick exclaimed as Dirty walked off the stage.
I slipped my bass over my head and caught up with everyone else.
The crowd erupted into complete chaos as we reached the stage. As I played the first notes of "Dance, Dance," everyone on the floor surged toward the barricade.
"She said she's no good
With words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out,
'A joke of a romantic,' is stuck to my tongue...
Maybe it was just me, but something seemed off.
"...I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds/
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by..."
"PETE!" I heard someone yell from backstage. I glanced to my left and saw Korean Tom Cruise motioning toward me.
We're falling apart to half time..."
Still jumping around on stage, I moved closer to the back so I could hear what he was saying.
"...And these are the lives you'd love to lead..."
I could see his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear anything over Andy's drumming.
This is the way they'd love if they knew now misery loved me..."
"WHAT KIND OF GAY RODEO DO YOU THINK WE'RE RUNNING?!" he yelled, half-laughing.
Wow. KTC must've smoked some of Joe's stash. What the fuck is he talking about a gay rodeo?
Confused, I moved back toward the front of the stage. As I span around, I caught a glimpse of the jumbotrons.
Right there, on the enormous screen, was my ass. Usually I wouldn't mind the attention, but this was fucking ridiculous. The back pockets of my jeans were cut out, revealing the pink unicorn boxers I was wearing underneath.
I was wearing assless pants.
As the song ended, the crowd died down a little. Patrick, Joe and Andy, however, couldn't stop laughing.
Running a hand through my hair, I walked up to the mic.
"So, I have a feeling that you guys like my jeans."
Screams echoed through the venue.
"I'll take that as a yes..."
"Pete, I love your ass!" screamed a random girl on the barricade. I let out an embarrassed laugh.
"A friend of mine actually designed them. Self-proclaimed queen of pranks, also responsible for Dirty's makeover, give it up for Sophie."
She stepped onto the stage and gave a little bow.
"Andy helped too," she said, smirking, before going backstage. I glanced at him, sitting behind the drums. He flashed me a cheesy grin.
I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh as we started playing "This Ain't A Scene, It's an Arms Race."
This is going to be an interesting tour.
Author's Note: If you'd like to make your own awesome loaf that was featured in the chapter, go here:
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