- The thing that impressed me the most in this piece was the bleakness. Following the proud tradition of the medieval ballad, the characters makes themselves known by words and actions, not descriptions, and the case is just ... recorded. Even the yelling feels like a report quoting. the sheer realism chilled me to the bones. Feelgood piece? I don't think so. The altered futures for all involved felt real and credible with the exception of Sirius. He would still have known his innocence, and he would still have wanted revenge. Possibly, he would have extended the need for vengeance to the Dursleys and Dumbledore, but Sirius is hard to predict and all of us who operate in the Fanverse have different views of him. All in all, kowtow to your superior skill!
Author's responseThank you. I am both touched and humbled by your review. (Does Snoopy dance! There...all better!) As a former police officer,
I have had the unpleasant duty of responding to cases like this and am intimately familiar with the aftermath. I wrote it like a police report, because in many ways, it was.
Sirius was exceptionally hard to write. I thought long and hard about having him escape, to wreak havoc upon Dumbledore, as the Dursley's case would have been well publicized. but he'd be fighting a no-win battle. He'd be facing the same kind of nationwide manhunt, but as Dumbledore no longer needed him, 'Mister Twinkles' would surely ensure he was kissed first thing, so as to protect himself from political damage, and Fudge would have been more than happy to comply for the same reasons. In addition; his devastation over losing both James and Lily, and learning that his 'friend' betrayed them all, sent him into a deep depression (canon PoA) until he began to use his Grim alter-ego to shield himself from the Dementors. It was only in 'Prisoner' that he learned the object of his hatred still lived. Here, with the added blow of Harry's death, I can easily see him deciding nothing was worth the pain of continued survival.
I thank you for both your exceptionally kind review and for your genuflection.
- HI, I really liked both the first and the sequel to your story about Harry Potters death. I do have one question. Who is the "meriwether" that Lunas mother was talking to? I looked it up, Lunas father was named Xenophilius in canon. Just a slight overlook? Or is Meriwether another character??? Too curious,,,,,, Tara cassidy
Author's responseTarazboyz, First, thank you for your kind words.
As for Meriwether, I actually wrote 'revisited' before book seven was released. At the time, nobody knew Mr Lovegood's name...'cept Luna, so I looked for an unusual name for him. I've also used Lawrence and Odd, for his name in other books. Other writers have used names even stranger.
- Wow, somehow most of my review got cut out!!! I had written a lot more. So I will try again. First, this is the ONLY story I have read where Harry Potter gets killed off and it is still a good story. You addressed every character in the first six books, well, except for some of the deatheaters individually, but who cares? They all died or went to Azkaban! Of course the love story part is good. It almost gives me hope that I have a shot in life. My husband of five years came home from deployment three months ago and out of nowhere announced he didnt love me anymore and that he was leaving us. We have two sons. THe baby was just 8 months old. I spent a month begging him not to leave without trying, or at least an explanation, and he just moved back to the ship and ignored me for the most part. Then one of his friends called me and informed me he has had a girlfriend on the boat for the last two years, and was staying at her place. I snapped, and when he came over and I confronted him and said I was going to go to his command, (as it was the bitches command also) he beat the shit out of me, strangled me unconscious, and left me there with two children to find me on the floor. Oh yea, he went to jail. But my point is that Ron didnt get half what he deserved........ even though he didnt hit hermonie. Its the worst kind of betrayal. Anyway, I love your writing, and I look eagerly forward to more in the future... You dont happen to be single, do you? LOL.!! I just think you seem like a really great guy, and I like the passion you have in your writing, it tends to reflect you as a man, i think. Annyway, keep it up!!! Tara Cassidy
I think you got two of my stories mixed up. The first part involves 'Discovery; and the second seems to be about 'Harry Loves you'.
For the first: I thank you. I despise child abuse in any fashion. I grew up abused, and as a police officer I frequently saw the telling effects of such abuse. There are a few of my reviewers who felt I should have gone on, and some who felt I took too long. Eeh.
As to the second, Yes. Ron is a cheating bastard, but he isn't 'evil' so to speak. He's more like a professional football player who sees that he can have exactly what he wants, when he wants it, and so takes advantage. (Read both of my 'Snorkacks' stories and you'll get an idea of why he acts like he does. Be advised, however, you might laugh.)
Third, Fry that bastard! Take him to court, and take every penny he makes. Guys like that make me ashamed to be a man! You can also charge the both of them with adultery under the UCMJ, in addition to the battery. While his CO and the chain of command, will help you, especially due to what I see based upon your description, as attempted murder, you need to get going right now! Your children are the most important parts of your life. He is as responsible for their creation as you are, and should have the responsibility for caring for them as well. Get it out in the open!
While I am single, I'm old. Live for yourself and for your children for a time, and then think about finding a mate...if you really want one. I've raised my daughter alone, since her mother's death in '96 and I think I've done a wonderful job. Her teachers, other parents and neighbors agree. It can be done. It's just a little harder.
While in the navy, I served almost four years in the Marine corps, and after Beruit, where I took five rounds in my body armor(Seven broken ribs), and a shattered kneecap from some guy who really didn't like the US, I returned to the navy. I retired from the reserve, after 23 years.
I also served as a police officer, in three separate parts of the country. One of those places was near San Diego where my wife drove her car into a bridge abutment at over eighty miles an hour. I was the responding officer and I had to pull her body from a burning wreck. That night I had to tell my baby girl that mommy was never coming home. I turned in my badge the next day. I'm a carpenter now, I work a regular shift and so, I make enough to support us, and I return home every night.
Remember: Live for you, live for your children.
- Alorkin, you are right I accidentally posted this review to the wrong story..... thank you for sharing your story with me. I cant even imagine what you must have gone through, but I think I am beginning to understand the reverent way you treat the female characters in your stories. I will be praying for you and your daughter. And just to let you know, I left the bastard. He WAS a shit hot Boatswainsmate 2nd class petty officer, till they found out what he did to me. Most of his command loved me and the kids. He is now a seamen, an e-1, and the only reason he didnt get booted out was because they wanted to make sure he had a job to pay me the money he was supposed to. I still love him though, and it hurts. While I was kinda kidding about the single comment, you do seem like a great guy, and a woynderful father, and I enjoy your writing much more knowing a little bit about you. My boys and I have a safe home, and we trust in God, and we will be ok. Thank you, keep writing!! Tara
I'm so glad it worked out for you and your sons. That kind of thing absolutely infuriates me, and I have stood at Captain's mast many times, and even at a few Courts martial a few, to try to make sure the victim is treated well.
I like to think so. I love her with all my heart, but that doesn't mean i don't want to sell her to the circus from time to time.
Enjoy your life, love your sons and place your trust in God. (I'm a Buddhist, myself, but I am well conversant with all the major faiths.)
(#) anakhuskerfan 2008-12-16Good sequel, although I liked the first better. This fic raised a view questions to though, like how did Luna see an adult Harry in her vision, and who will defeat Voldemort now.
Author's responseIt's funny. 'Discovery' was supposed to be a one-shot. I got so many requests to continue, that I had to try.
Luna, should have been unaffected by Harry, as she never knew him until Hogwarts, but, in my opinion, Luna is one of those very rare people who see not only the future, but many possible futures. As a four year old, she saw Harry's death, and at the same time one possible future. "Mummy! I saw it again. I saw what's to come again!" She wouldn't have been able to tell which was the 'right' future, and so, told her mother of both.
As for Voldemort: The wizarding world will have to learn to cooperate in order to destroy him.
He's been badly injured by Harry's death and the loss of their connection. Far worse, is the political and monetary damage, now that his major supporters have been 'eliminated'.
Yes, Dumbledore is disgraced, and has lost most of his political influence, but he is still the most powerful wizard in Britain if not the world. He will not allow himself to die, regardless until his creation has been destroyed.
- I enjoyed your great story. The ripples from such an event could easily have such wide ranging effects. Thanks for writing. W.
Author's responseThank you(again). As you have probably guessed, I despise child abuse, and so, I tried to make each of the villains suffer. Unfortunately the worst offender got away relatively unscathed. Sigh!
As you said, the ripples from one such an event can spread throughout the entire world.
(#) jabarber69 2009-03-16Hey thank you for this outstanding sequel...I remember reading the firs part and thinking how sad! but today saw one of your stories was being featured on ficwad and remembering your author name as one I liked checked out your profile and found this story!
I figured that with the queen involvement that dumbydork would of at least gone to prison, and the most important thing is...I know you wrote that voldie recieved alot of pain, but remember the prophecy states that one has to kill to the other to survie so with harry dead, wouldnt that leave voldie, even though he was in his wraith form, he could still come back, with his horcruxes, so where is he?
Author's responseHeya. Jabarber.
Thanks. I appreciate your reading, and enjoying my scribblings.
The biggest problem with Dumbledore, is that he's made himself practically invulnerable, politically speaking. Dumbles is the one who has trained nearly every witch or wizard in Britain for the last hundred or so years, and has carefully cultivated his omnipotence throughout the British WW. His fan base is even bigger than Harry's.
With the separation of the Muggle and wizarding worlds, the queen has very little real power in the magical world.(Something IMNSHO that should be corrected.) Besides, having Dumbledore rotting in prison, would ensure he was incapable of resistance when the much weaker Voldemort did return.
I also believe the Prophesy has already been fulfilled. The 'either must die at the hand of the other', could be seen as baby Harry being the one who killed off Voldy. (Even though his disassociated spirit continued on.)
As to the horcruxes, one(Harry) is accounted for, and two more are probably so. With the incarceration of Lucky Lucy and the flower, Malfoy manor would have been seized. If so, it most definitely would have been searched and the dark artifacts under the drawing room floor would have been discovered. The same holds true for Grimmauld place. Since Sirius died, and he was the only MALE heir, (Walburga's wishes irrespective) his famly line is now ended.
While this is conjecture, I'd assume the charms would eventually fail, and the house would become known to people. Once the ministry became aware of that, they'd investigate, and seize that house as well. The same type of search would ensure and the locket would be discovered and taken by the DoM.
After sufficient study, I'm certain they could discover what the horcruxes are, and locate/destroy them. (There's nothing in the prophesy that says somebody else cannot destroy them.)
As for Voldy, He's still in Albania, only much weaker.
Thanks for the insightful questions.
(#) Richardc269 2010-05-30I found this story to be very moving, and very realistic in this day and age of the real world. In complete honesty, I didn't really like the way that JKR written her story about Harry.
Both Snape's and Dumbledore's characters have always actually disgusted me in the books. Dumbledore because he manipulates people, hides the truth from people, and doesn't fully explain everything, as well as making people feel guilty for stupid bullshit (which is also "mental abuse, I might add). And Snape is just a plain child abuser who needed to grow a pair of balls. That man was a childish, petty little boy who needed to be shot in the head.
As for JKR's character of Harry in the books, I found him too much of a sissy and he let everyone walk all over him. I understand that the books are made for kids, but in all honesty, if that bullshit were to happen here in the states, both Snape and Dumbledore would be tossed either into prison or lost their jobs.
I didn't mean to go all the way with what I said up there, but I absolutely loved your story.
Author's responseThank you. I appreciate that. I wrote it on the manner of a police report. each thing has a date and time,and each progressed along a logical and consistent timeline.
And you will find at least one person who agrees with you on these subjects. I grew up abused...not as badly as little Harry did, but it was close. Beatings, starvation and broken bones were the norm at our house.
As a police officer and later while I was with the Marine Corps, I saw the effects of abuse far to closely.
I also find myself in complete agreement about Ol' Twinkles. Dumbledore is actually a worse villain than Voldemort. His penchant for keeping things to himself until just after they could have done some good is criminally offensive, and in a military view, treasonous.
JKR had Harry's character completely wrong. Though she was following the Arthurian legend, she pushed the abuse too far. Even Sir Ector treated Arthur exactly as his own son, Kay. He was tough on them, as was required by the times, and he favored his own son a little, but he was fair to them both. Had Harry really grown up like that, he would more likely have been like Dudley, Draco, or (God forbid) Dumbledore. He'd learn early how the manipulate the situation to his own ends, and never worry that others could be hurt.
As for Snape and Dumbledore...they disgust me as well. Losing their jobs here? You'd be surprised. There are so many who refuse to admit that there are those in a community who would do something so horrible as abusing a child, that they turn a blind eye to it. (See the above note.) In such a homogeneous, upper middle-class neighborhood where everyone is more concerned with scaling the corporate ladder and paying attention to the latest scandals, than actually seeing what's around them, Vernon has the perfect cover.
Shooting Snape in the head is too fast, too easy. Now in the belly...that's a different story. Or maybe in each shoulder and knee, and then slicing open his belly...with a rusty pickle fork.
(Insert evil chuckle here)
Thanks for your refreshing review. I prefer reviews that have something to say, whether I like to hear them or not, so go as far as you want.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
- An excellent follow-on from the first story, not at all 'feel good', but rather logically laid out, with spot-on characterizations. A really fine piece of writing.
Author's responseThanks. I appreciate it. It was in many ways even harder to write than the first, because of all the people involved whit Harry and the support staff I had to develop.
(#) Richardc269 2010-09-06Very cool story. I loved it just as much as the first one. I'm glad to see that his relatives had gotten what they deserved for beating a child. If it were up to me, I'd just stuff them into a prison with other prisoners that hate child abusers (which pretty much covers most if not all prisons).
People have no right beating a child, much less a 4 year old. Kids are innocent up until the age of 13 (or at least very innocent), and have absolutely NO idea how the real world works. Kids also don't think of the consequences of their actions until they're found out. Which is common. I agree with the judge on his points.
I'm glad Snape was stuffed into prison too. That asshole is a child abuser, and Albus lets him get away with it simply because of his idiotic ideal that Death Eaters are just blind/innocent followers of Voldemort, and I have no doubt that Death Eaters (probably most of them) take the Mark willingly. Snape is one of them. He's a child abuser, except with words, he gets joy out of intimidating 11-17 year olds simply because he can get away with it. He insults children simply because he can. If it were up to me, I'd beat that douchebag senseless and smash his brains in with a blunt object.
In all honesty, I have no idea why Harry named his kids after those two morons. Albus Severus Potter? It sounds more like a gay threesome to me. But then again, Harry always was a blind, ignorant child who had no idea of how the world worked.
Harry was actually pretty smart before he entered the school, but Ron and Hermione turned him into an idiot simply because he felt inferior to Hermione's memory (even though I thought both Ron and she were stupid in the first place), Ron simply holds him back because he was a lazy knucklehead who thought he should have things brought to him instead of getting them himself because he was Harry's friend. I wouldn't want to be friends with those 2 idiots. Ron because he's even lazier than I am, and a hell uva lot more stupid, and Hermione because I absolutely loathe her personality of "If it's not in a book, it doesn't exist" type ideal.
I know I probably went off the story with that, but I felt I had to get rid of that.
By the way, FW said you updated your story yesterday, but I didn't see anything added, unless you removed it or something.
If this story were to be posted on DLP in their review section (and the prequel), I'd rate both stories a 4.5/5.
Author's responseI'm glad you liked the story. IN 'Discovery Revisited:' I dealt with the Dursley's as would happen in any country on Earth. In my current one I'm dealing with the Dursleys in a different, though much more unpleasant manner than mere death. After all, you can only beat an abuser/molester to death once. It hurts, but it's over far too quickly for my liking.
I disagree on your age lines, but that's about all. I believe children know right from wrong, if they've been properly trained, at age six. I don't think they should be punished as adults though, until they are at least sixteen. Children are precious. They are the very future of our race. To harm one is worse than criminal.
Snape s a street punk. A schoolyard bully who never got his ass handed to him. as a result, he feels entitled. i have a rather violent story in the works that has Harry teaching him a painful and permanent lesson, despite Dumbledore's threats.
Dumbledore is no better than Snape, as he is the one who allows Snivellus' behavior. Nobody is that dumb to believe the murdering scumbags are fgoing to behave if they're given another chance. Someoen once said, Seel;vor, I think: "Absolution without repentance is worthless, no lesson is learned."
If anything, Dumbley should be forcibly and publicly removed from all his positions of authority and locked into a psychiatric hospital for the rest of whatever.
Rowling described Snape as the bravest man Harry ever met, but I agree with you. He might as well have named his children Vernon, Dudley and Petunia. there's no difference.
Hermione/Ron makes me nauseous. I will use that pairing to introduce a story but I always have Hermione coming to her senses quickly. Pairing 'Can't be bothered to study Weasley' and 'Every 'I' dotted and every 'T' crossed, Granger' is a disaster just waiting to happen.
Opposites attract, but there has to be a middle ground.
I also agree with you on Harry's apparent loss of brain cells, though I believe Dumbledore ordered Ron to hold him back. After all, a weapon that begins to question is more dangerous to the wielder than the foe. HAL, anyone?
Hermione is annoying and addicted to authority, but you'll notice in canon, during her later years, she was less enthralled by those in power.
Don't know what happened yesterday, there is a new post today.
4.5, huh? I'll consider posting on DLP. I like them(except that they like to bash one of my favorite authors, Kinsfire.)
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