A/N: No Copyrights were harmed in the production of this work. No money exchanged hands, no real ideas were generated, only minor discussions of my attempts of humor occurred.
Last time on The Power He has Not:
Riddle sat on his throne the smell of the destroyed body of the Death Eater who brought the articles to his attention still hung in the air. So Potter is challenging me. We will see who is the coward.
"Bellatrix, arrange to have all or my Death Eaters at Hogsmeade on the morning of the 25th."
"Of Course My Lord"
Riddle returned his attention to the papers. The Quibbler confused him more than angered. How had this Lovegood discovered Bellatrix's pet name for him? And what is this about 'exceptionally small genitalia? He had never received complaints.
"Bellatrix. Are my dangly bits small?" Riddle asked, casting a quick crucio at the guard who dared laugh.
"Of course not My Lord."
"I didn't think so." Back to the story. Wait a minute; Potter's bum was 'tasty'?
Harry Potter and the Power He Has Not.
Chapter 33 - Preparation
Hermione entered the great hall more than a little flustered. The previous night she had found a copy of the Quibbler on her rounds and suddenly understood what everyone had been laughing about yesterday. She spotted Luna just sitting down at the Ravenclaw table and crossed the room to her.
"Good Morning Hermione." The blonde-haired girl said brightly, arranging her eggs and bacon into a face on the plate in front of her. "Don't you love being artistic with your food?" she curved the rasher of bacon into a smile for her happy plate, and then stabbed the smiling face in the left egg yolk eye with her fork. "It allows you to work off hostility so easily."
"I'm more of a Tea and Toast for breakfast person my self."Hermione said sitting down across from Luna. "I wanted to talk to you about your article in the Quibbler."
"Oh yes, I was hoping you would. I was planning a second article on the subject, and could really use your insight into the subject, what with your being Muggle born and all."
Somewhat confused, Hermione asked, "How can I help?"
"Since you are Muggle born, you would know..." Luna leaned closer in a conspiratorial manner whispering, "What are Muggles trying to tell us in their 'paint by number' pictures? What is the code to unlock the secrets?" She looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. "I've tried all the permutations I could think of, but nothing seems to work."
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose, conversations with Luna could so often lead to migraines. "They're just Pictures Luna. They let people with little artistic talent enjoy the act of creation by proxy. That's all. No secret, no code."
"I see. Sworn to secrecy are you? I understand. Just be aware, I am an investigative reporter, I will get to the bottom of this cover up, and the secret will be made public!"
"That's fine Luna, actually I wanted to speak to you about this article." She unrolled the issue of the Quibbler she had found.
"Oh. You didn't know that the girls think Harry has a nice bum?"
"Yes, no... Luna, putting out all this information, it could be dangerous. You could make Voldemort angry."
"He couldn't be all that angry, I clearly labeled the information as rumour. I only have a single source on the size of his dangly bits. To report as fact you need at least two sources."
"Not that Luna... Wait. What possible source could you have for the size of Voldemort's bits?"
Luna looked a bit offended. "An impeccable one I assure you. Oh Myrtle!"
Moaning Myrtle drifted into the Great Hall and approached Luna. Hermione was shocked, she had never seen Myrtle outside of the girls toilet she haunted.
"Yes Luna?" her attention shifted to Hermione "Oh, it's you."
"Hermione was wondering who my source was for the size of Tom Riddle's genitalia."
"Oh him. His was the first I ever saw. Not long after I died, I started peeping in the plumbing. His is the cutest little thing." She held up the pinky on her left hand. "about like this." Myrtle giggled "No wonder he was always so angry."
"You see Hermione, and excellent source, if only I could have gotten a second witness. I wonder if Bellatrix Lestrange would consent to an interview."
Desperate to change the subject Hermione said, "So, Myrtle, it's been a while since we last spoke, how are you?"
"About the same, still dead. People still throw things at me."
"Hermione is engaged to Harry Potter."
"Really? Lucky girl. That one will never want to take over the world to prove anything."
"Oh yes, you mentioned that before. I meant to mention that to you Hermione so that you can get some stretching exercises in before the 24th."
"What? No, we... I... I've got to go. Good speaking to you both." And Hermione almost ran from the Great Hall.
"Oh dear, we may have embarrassed her"
"I don't see how Myrtle. We gave her good news didn't we?
Room of Requirements:
Susan and Neville sat together in the parlor that the Room of Requirement had provided them. A fire was in the hearth, the warmth permeated their bodies, it had been a wonderful evening together. Neville had his arm around her, and they cuddled closer.
"I wonder why Harry chose to end it here."
"Probably so that he would have the DA to back him up." Neville was not all that sure if that was the reason, but the part of him what wanted to help Harry hoped it was.
"We could die." Susan had been worried ever since she read the Prophet article. "Was it wise to challenge V-Voldemort so blatantly?"
"I was as shocked as you. But the more I thought about it the more I was certain that it was part of Harry's scheme to ensure that Voldemort actually show up. I'm sure there's more to it."
"I've been talking to Luna." Susan hesitated. Many people wrote Luna Lovegood off as a, well, loon. Susan had always found her to be exceptionally helpful and informed, if not exactly lucid. "She says that Harry's going to win."
"Ron said something about her being some kind of seer."
"She says she can see her own personal future. She says Harry's going to win, but no one she knows will ever see him again." She started to cry. "It's not fair. He's only 17. Why aren't there armies of adults there to fight these monsters? Why is it Harry?"
"It's because they're afraid. Harry's afraid too, but more than that he's angry. If Luna's right and he does die, he would be the first to tell you that he would far rather die on his feet than on his knees. His one regret will be leaving Hermione. If only they had realized what everyone else saw a lot earlier."