Goose down bed.
In the heat of the moment Frank checked us into a room in a hotel close by.
I stood next to him in the elevator watching the numbers light up as we got farther to the top. He couldn’t keep his hands off of me; the more he did it the worst I felt, but there was no stopping him…or me.
The elevator doors finally slid open; Frank quickly grabbed my hand pulling me along behind him. He fumbled the card into the door slot; drunkenly.
Standing in the doorway of the room he pulled me into kisses. His whiskey tongue plunged into my mouth, that’s when the tinge of guilt pelted me in the head. The thing was I could still feel a buzz from the alcohol, taking a deep breath I lead him to the bed. He gently pushed me on the goose down bed.
A sea of unexplainable emotions took over me.
We pulled apart, he pulled at my dress straps, and I unbuttoned his shirt.
My palms were covered in a sweat of anticipation.
Wrapping my arms around his sweat covered neck I pushed my mouth hard against his. He moaned; I couldn’t take it any longer.
“Love me!” I screamed out. I hastily unzipped his pants, come to find out there was nothing else to remove. The length of him was exposed.
He let the tips of his soft fingers graze my stomach making his way to the top of my red lace. He looked at my face just asking to pull them away, I nodded. He pulled them away tossing them off the bed. I pulled his head down whispering. “Do it.” He took the order, slowly pushing his way into me; I tried to keep my voice down. But I couldn’t; I grabbed his waist bringing him further into me. We both screamed out in pleasure, my body was wrapped in ecstasy. I begged him to go faster, he responded. “I love you!”
We spent hours at it; I loved every second of it. But it had to stop there.
Write me up…
We laid underneath the cotton sheets covered in layers of guilt and sweat. Rolling over I stared at the digital clock that read 12 o’clock, suddenly I felt his warm arms come together around my waist. With his arms still around me I turned to face him.
“This is so wrong, look what I’ve done.” I whispered shamefully. I could feel his body tense up against me. “You haven’t done anything, I asked you to do this.”
“I know that but the thing is I wanted to do this. I should be laying in bed with Gerard not his best friend.” He gently kissed the side of my face, I smiled. “Heidi, what’s done is done.”
He was right, there was no going back to fix things. “Frank?” my voice was shaky.
“Yes?” His grasp became tighter; like I was going to leave him…
“Do you really love me? “
“Heidi, I’ve always loved you. As soon as I saw you at the meet and greet I knew you were for me. Ever since then I’ve watched you, the way you smile, the way you walk, and your scent. I don’t know how to explain it in words. All I can say is I’ve always loved you.”
That day was the best day of my life; I wish I would have known 3 years ago what trouble it would get me in. Closing my eyes I brought myself closer to him, I inhaled the scent of his hair.
“I’m glad you love me. I don’t know what to do…I’m really fucked up Frank. I can say “I love you” to you over and over again, but it so hard for me to say it to Gerard. He almost has to strangle it out of me- What do we do now?”
“ I will make love to you one more time, we will get dressed, then leave the hotel and when we get back on the bus pretend like none of this happened. Pretend like I don’t love you.”
He unlocked the grasp around me; I kissed him softly.
We made love once again.
I watched him dress, and then I thought to myself.
What if I don’t want to pretend?
What I if can’t?
How long can I play this game?
Then it hit me…this is only the beginning.
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