Categories > Original > Humor > Five Minute Soap Dish
Week 46
Three hours later Gia and Steve left the club, half walking, half stumbling, towards Steve’s car. Their arms were over each other’s shoulders, as this was the only way they felt they could remain balanced.
“That’s a fucking disgrace!” Gia shouted at the top of their voices, “We were the best fucking dancers inside the fucking club, and they kick US out! What about the fuckers doing the Bus-stop? The eighties finished years ago-get a new dance!”
“We…we were…we were probably making their regulars look all shit and….shit,” Steve mumbled.
“We fucking showed them all though, didn’t we?” Gia laughed, “That bar’s going to be boring to all the regulars now that we’re gone, isn’t it?”
“And to think we got kicked out for dancing on the bar! We should have been signed on as employees, given a salary and congratulated for putting some life into that fucking dump.”
“The others, they’re going to be so fucking disappointed when they find out the shit that went down tonight.”
“Yeah, they’ll be sorry all right,” Steve said, stopping by his car, “Now, do you want to go somewhere else, or do you wanna get a lift home?”
“Uh uh!” Gia groaned, grabbing Steve’s hand, wiggling her finger at him, “You’ve been drinking. No driving for you tonight. I’ll drive instead.”
“Forget about it,” Steve answered, pulling his keys out of his pocket, and trying to put them in the door lock, “I can handle my drink okay-much better than you. And you’re much drunker than I am. I’ve driven plenty of times. I can do it again.”
Gia forced herself in between him and the car door. Steve found himself losing his balance without her to support him, and fell onto her.
“No no. We’re not driving anywhere,” Gia insisted, with a giggle.
“But how am I going to get you home. Can’t walk from here.”
“Your place is nearby, isn’t it?”
“Not really. I mean, I usually drive-“
“We could walk there if we really wanted to. Then you get your car tomorrow, okay?”
“It’ll be an effort. It’s not really walking distance from here.”
“Bull shit. We can make it there, if we believe we can,” Gia said, winking at him, “Come on. You know you want to.”
“I’ve got a flatmate-he isn’t really friendly to guests. He’ll probably scare you,” Steve mumbled.
“I don’t scare easily. I was locked in a room with you for hours and I didn’t get scared, did I? Besides, I’ve got three flatmates of my own. All women,” she added, giggling, “You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine!”
“Well, if you’re sure,” Steve said, “I’ve got a couch you can use. I’ll try and stop Tristan from frightening you in the morning.”
Gia’s hand jerkily moved out to stroke Steve’s face. “I don’t want to sleep on a couch.”
“Well, I’ll have the couch then-“
“It’s too early to sleep anyway, isn’t it?” Gia said, giving a look that at the time she thought was seductive, but would be embarrassed if anyone ever brought it up again in the cold light of day, “Isn’t there something else we could do…to pass the time?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve smiled.
Gia’s hands moved up to Steve’s collar, fiddling with it as she continued, “I mean, I had a lot of fun tonight, and so did you, and this when we thought we’d never do fun stuff again. I’d hate to end that fun now, just because you’re tired. I mean, who knows when we’ll ever have this much fun again.”
“I’m not…tired,” Steve mumbled, thinking about each word carefully.
“So, you want to go back to your flat? You’re okay with it? You’re not frightened, are you?”
Steve let out a snort of laughter, a bit larger than he had anticipated. He then started laughing about the snort.
When he calmed down, he told her, “I don’t frighten easily. Remember, I was locked in a room with you for hours and I didn’t get scared, did I?”
“Right then,” Gia said, tilting her head, and moving towards Steve’s lips, “So we’ll go home, and then….and then-“
“Then what?”
“Then, we’ll see where our mood takes us,” Gia said, moving in to kiss him, but suddenly backing off.
“What’s the matter?” Steve slurred, grabbing Gia’s arms, “Is it my breath or something? Cause, you know, I have a toothbrush and everything.”
It was nothing to do with Steve’s breath. Instead, at this moment Gia’s digestive system decided to remind her exactly how much she had drunk over the last three hours. It also made the amount fairly clear to Steve, his shirt and pants as well.
When she had finished, Gia looked up at Steve with a contented, and vaguely satisfied smile. “All done.”
“You know, you vomit a lot for someone so small,” Steve said, smiling.
Gia wrapped her arms around his waist, “I’m just full of surprises,” she said, moving her head to rest on Steve’s shoulder, “Just need to get my energy back after that. Just a little nap. Good night Steve.”
Steve soon realised that Gia had fallen asleep on him, and his shirt was ruined. No matter how hard he pushed and pulled, Gia’s arms weren’t moving from him, nor was she going to wake up anytime soon.
“Shit,” Steve mumbled.
Three hours later Gia and Steve left the club, half walking, half stumbling, towards Steve’s car. Their arms were over each other’s shoulders, as this was the only way they felt they could remain balanced.
“That’s a fucking disgrace!” Gia shouted at the top of their voices, “We were the best fucking dancers inside the fucking club, and they kick US out! What about the fuckers doing the Bus-stop? The eighties finished years ago-get a new dance!”
“We…we were…we were probably making their regulars look all shit and….shit,” Steve mumbled.
“We fucking showed them all though, didn’t we?” Gia laughed, “That bar’s going to be boring to all the regulars now that we’re gone, isn’t it?”
“And to think we got kicked out for dancing on the bar! We should have been signed on as employees, given a salary and congratulated for putting some life into that fucking dump.”
“The others, they’re going to be so fucking disappointed when they find out the shit that went down tonight.”
“Yeah, they’ll be sorry all right,” Steve said, stopping by his car, “Now, do you want to go somewhere else, or do you wanna get a lift home?”
“Uh uh!” Gia groaned, grabbing Steve’s hand, wiggling her finger at him, “You’ve been drinking. No driving for you tonight. I’ll drive instead.”
“Forget about it,” Steve answered, pulling his keys out of his pocket, and trying to put them in the door lock, “I can handle my drink okay-much better than you. And you’re much drunker than I am. I’ve driven plenty of times. I can do it again.”
Gia forced herself in between him and the car door. Steve found himself losing his balance without her to support him, and fell onto her.
“No no. We’re not driving anywhere,” Gia insisted, with a giggle.
“But how am I going to get you home. Can’t walk from here.”
“Your place is nearby, isn’t it?”
“Not really. I mean, I usually drive-“
“We could walk there if we really wanted to. Then you get your car tomorrow, okay?”
“It’ll be an effort. It’s not really walking distance from here.”
“Bull shit. We can make it there, if we believe we can,” Gia said, winking at him, “Come on. You know you want to.”
“I’ve got a flatmate-he isn’t really friendly to guests. He’ll probably scare you,” Steve mumbled.
“I don’t scare easily. I was locked in a room with you for hours and I didn’t get scared, did I? Besides, I’ve got three flatmates of my own. All women,” she added, giggling, “You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine!”
“Well, if you’re sure,” Steve said, “I’ve got a couch you can use. I’ll try and stop Tristan from frightening you in the morning.”
Gia’s hand jerkily moved out to stroke Steve’s face. “I don’t want to sleep on a couch.”
“Well, I’ll have the couch then-“
“It’s too early to sleep anyway, isn’t it?” Gia said, giving a look that at the time she thought was seductive, but would be embarrassed if anyone ever brought it up again in the cold light of day, “Isn’t there something else we could do…to pass the time?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve smiled.
Gia’s hands moved up to Steve’s collar, fiddling with it as she continued, “I mean, I had a lot of fun tonight, and so did you, and this when we thought we’d never do fun stuff again. I’d hate to end that fun now, just because you’re tired. I mean, who knows when we’ll ever have this much fun again.”
“I’m not…tired,” Steve mumbled, thinking about each word carefully.
“So, you want to go back to your flat? You’re okay with it? You’re not frightened, are you?”
Steve let out a snort of laughter, a bit larger than he had anticipated. He then started laughing about the snort.
When he calmed down, he told her, “I don’t frighten easily. Remember, I was locked in a room with you for hours and I didn’t get scared, did I?”
“Right then,” Gia said, tilting her head, and moving towards Steve’s lips, “So we’ll go home, and then….and then-“
“Then what?”
“Then, we’ll see where our mood takes us,” Gia said, moving in to kiss him, but suddenly backing off.
“What’s the matter?” Steve slurred, grabbing Gia’s arms, “Is it my breath or something? Cause, you know, I have a toothbrush and everything.”
It was nothing to do with Steve’s breath. Instead, at this moment Gia’s digestive system decided to remind her exactly how much she had drunk over the last three hours. It also made the amount fairly clear to Steve, his shirt and pants as well.
When she had finished, Gia looked up at Steve with a contented, and vaguely satisfied smile. “All done.”
“You know, you vomit a lot for someone so small,” Steve said, smiling.
Gia wrapped her arms around his waist, “I’m just full of surprises,” she said, moving her head to rest on Steve’s shoulder, “Just need to get my energy back after that. Just a little nap. Good night Steve.”
Steve soon realised that Gia had fallen asleep on him, and his shirt was ruined. No matter how hard he pushed and pulled, Gia’s arms weren’t moving from him, nor was she going to wake up anytime soon.
“Shit,” Steve mumbled.
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