Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Innocence Faded

War Inside My Head

by Anonymus31 3 reviews

Harry Is reeling from the previous nights revelations; Ron and George set out to confront the culprits; Hermione has a short conversation with her parents.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: George,Harry,Hermione,Molly Weasley,Ron - Warnings: [!!] [?] - Published: 2007-11-17 - Updated: 2007-11-18 - 4055 words

2Moving
Disclaimer: I own /NOTHING!!/ Not the characters, not the setting, even my car isn't mine; my sister's name is on the title. I do, however, own Jonas, Jenna, and the owl Athena, now that I think about it. Innocence Faded lyrics belong to Dream Theater.



A/N: I've expanded the chapter significantly, and made general improvements to the story in general. Both previous chapters have been changed, but to a much lesser extent.



Chapter 2: War Inside My Head

Hearing voices from miles away
Saying things never said
Seeing shadows in the light of the day
Waging a war inside my head


--Dream Theater "War Inside My Head"



The next morning, after contacting Jonas and Jenna to explain the situation and to ask them to stay with their dad while he was gone--a task that they accepted readily--Ron went to George's flat. In the years since Fred's death, Ron had become closer to George than anyone else in the family--except Fred--had ever been. Ron had helped George get over the grief of losing Fred--of losing himself/. George, meanwhile, had helped Ron get over the jealousy, the anger, and the resentment that he held towards Harry and Hermione. While they hadn't quit gotten to the point where they could volley their half of the conversation between themselves, that was more an issue of timing than anything else. A year ago Ron had left the Auror force to rejoin George at the shop when the life of an Auror actually got /boring.



"Hey, Ron. What are you doing here? You're not scheduled to work today." George said cheerfully as he opened the door.



"I know; this isn't about work, though. You know that potion sample I gave you? The one you said was Amortentia Minima?" George nodded. "Well, I think you should know where I got it. In return I would like your help with a couple of interrogations today. You in?"



"As long as it isn't anything illegal," George replied.



"It's not. I just don't know if I have the strength to go through with them by myself," Ron sighed. "Alright, no point in delaying any longer." He took a deep breath. "I got the sample on my last trip to the Burrow." George's eyes widened in surprise. "Mum was helping Ginny brew it. Ginny was using it on Harry. I'm not sure, but I think she started shortly after the twins were born."



George was seething at this point, but he was able to clamp down on it. "I don't have much knowledge of long term love potions, considering all the ones in the shop are short term, but from what I read about Amortentia Minima, the time it takes to fully separate the drinker from the target varies depending on the depth of the feelings, it's all very vague. She may have started just after the wedding for all we know. Harry and Hermione really loved each other back then."



"They still do," Ron murmured sadly.



George noticed his tone and said, "Not this again. I thought you got over that a long-"



"I am over it," Ron interrupted.



"You sure didn't seem happy that they still love each other," George replied.



Ron shook his head glumly. "I just can't believe Ginny broke them up like that. I can't help but wonder, if we had had another sister, would Harry and Hermione still be together? Was there any way to stop this? When Ithink back on it, the signs were obvious. Did I notice them and give tacit approval by forgetting them without bringing them to somebody else's attention? I'd be lying if I said it was easy to tell Harry and Hermione about it, but I did. Last night I told them both. I had to. I may not be blameless in this, but I feel that by telling them I started on my way to making up for it."



George gave his little brother a hug. "I'm proud of you. You were the only one who knew about the potion--aside from Ginny and Molly--and you told them. You did the right thing, little brother." He suddenly turned serious, "So, how'd they take it?"



Ron sighed heavily,"Not very well. Hermione initially seemed like she wanted to kill someone before she regained control of her anger. Harry, well, Harry got this dead look in his eyes. He thanked me for telling him, though he went on to say that he would have preferred I hadn't told him because then at least he would, and I quote, 'have had a chance at a happy life with Ginny.' Hermione went off and is currently doing some soul searching, and Harry is, as we speak, under a combination of house arrest and suicide watch in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. I told Hermione that whatever she decides, I'd support her decision."



"You've finally grown up, brother of mine. Hermione would probably tell you that you now have the emotional depth of an eggcup, right about now," George said, smiling and ruffling Ron's hair. "Seriously, I have never, /ever/, been more proud to call you my brother, except maybe the time you perfected the invisible whoopee cushion." George turned very serious. "So, what are we going to do about Molly and Ginny?"



"We'll get to that, but first tell me, why are you suddenly referring to Mum by her first name?"



"Because when she broke up Harry's marriage to Hermione, she forgot that Harry was an honorary Weasley, and Weasleys stick together. She ceased to be our mother when she agreed to help Ginny brew that potion," George explained darkly.



Ron nodded in agreement. "I hadn't thought of it that way," he said thoughtfully. "Now, let's get down to business. Maybe 'interrogations' was too strong a word. I wanted to speak to Mu--to Molly--and Ginny, to find out why they did it, how they could be so heartless. And to remind them of the possible consequences." They then left for the Burrow together.



As soon as they entered the Burrow, their mum--no, Molly Weasley--swooped down upon them.



"Hello, Ron, George," She said as she hugged each of them. She noticed their stiff reactions and pulled back, aconcerned look on her face. "What's wrong, dears?"



Ron sighed heavily, unsure of how to ask her what he wanted to know. He decided that the direct approach was probably the best. "Why'd you do it, Molly?'



Molly was taken aback by the heavy sound to her son's words, and his use of her first name. "What do you mean, 'why'd you do it'?"



George, shaking in anger, answered her, "YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANS! THE LOVE POTION! WHY'D YOU HELP GINNY WITH THE LOVE POTION?!"



Molly was again taken aback. She hadn't seen George this grim looking since...since the aftermath of the Final Battle. He'd never raised his voice against anyone, as far as she could remember. She was so surprised by George's reaction that it took her almost aminute to realize that there had been a question in there. When she realized what the question was, she paled. "Y-you know about the love potion?"



Ron nodded, still looking furious. "Yes, we do. I caught you and Ginny brewing it week before last," he paused to let that statement sink in. "When you left the room after finishing it, I took a sample of it and gave it to George for analysis. Why don't you tell Molly what it was, George? Though I dare say she already knows. Right, Molly?



She nodded dumbly, but George continued anyway. "Amortentia Minima. The subtlest love potion known to the wizarding world. I believe you know the gist of the effects, though I imagine Harry and Hermione could give you a detailed firsthand account, if you ask nicely. After you apologized, of course. You'd have to be behind acurseproof barrier, though, to get anywhere near them now."



Ron took over at this point. "Yes, after much internal debate, I decided there was only one thing to do. I told Harry and Hermione what you and that...that bitch I used to call a sister did to them. I can't believe you two broke up their marriage!"



Molly finally found her voice. "I-I thought y-you'd be happy. You were so broken up when they announced their engagement, I thought you'd be happy for the opportunity to be with Hermione."



Ron shook his head in disgust. "I'd gotten over that long before Jonas and Jenna were born. Why do you think I accepted when they asked me to be Jenna's godfather? Did you know that they actually asked Ginny to be Jonas's godmother?" Molly looked startled. "No?She never even answered them, just turned and walked away. I think that's when this little plan of yours was born, wasn't it?" Molly could only nod, even though she knew that it had started earlier.



George spoke up, voice rising with every word. "You do know that Hermione would be well within her rights to challenge Ginny to an honor duel, right? That Ginny would have no chance against Hermione, right? That you could lose your wand, be obliviated, and be forced to live out the rest of your life as a muggle, right?" Molly, paled with each statement, and again all she could do was nod.



Ron took up the conversation at this point. "We won't be taking this to the authorities if you agree to apologize to Harry and Hermione and cease helping Ginny brew the potion. We'll worry about the arrangements, and convincing Harry and Hermione not to press charges, although since they already know, they could have done that already."



He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "Tell me again, why did you do it, Molly?"



She looked her son in the eyes, and at that point, all that she had done in the past eighteen years to help Ginny flashed before her eyes. She realized how it had affected Jonas and Jenna. How it had hurt Hermione. How it must have torn Harry to shred's.



Harry, the boy she had thought of as a seventh son.



"How is Harry holding up?" she asked, dreading the answer.



George responded, absolutely livid, "Harry is under a combination of house arrest and suicide watch. Jonas and Jenna are with him. Last night his heart was broken--nay, it was shattered, lit on fire, and pissed on! Last night he was told he'd been duped into living a lie for the past sixteen years. How would /you/respond to that?" Molly was crying now, wishing she could die; then maybe Harry and Hermione would feel better.



"Go ahead and arrange for a meeting between Harry and Hermione and myself. I know I can never make up for what I did. I only ask that you keep me safe long enough to apologize; after that, my fate is up to them," Molly managed to say between sobs. She collapsed in a heap as her two youngest sons, who no longer considered her their mother, left. She hoped either Harry or Hermione would kill her.



-------*]



Harry woke in the hospital wing. He wondered for a second why he was there. Then he remembered the events of last night, how he had learned that he'd lived almost half his life in a lie. How he'd been torn away from the woman he loved by a jilted ex. He decided that there was only one thing to do. He had to end it all. He felt for his wand on the bedside table. Strange, it's usually there when I'm in the hospital wing. He opened his eyes and grabbed his glasses.



He had just begun looking for his wand on the floor around the table when the door to the hospital wing opened and his oldest two, the ones he was too embarrassed to even look at, walked over to him.



"Uncle Ron told us what happened, Dad. Your wand is locked up for your own safety," Jenna told her father, sniffling as if she'd been crying recently. As he sat back on his bed he felt her arms encircle him. He just sat there; staring at the floor; still unable look either of them in the eyes.



Jonas noticed this and said, "Dad, speak to us, or at least look at us."



Harry just sighed and said,"I don't know if I can ever do that again. I feel like I let you down. I feel like...I don't know. I don't know what's real anymore. I just want this all to go away," he put his head in his hands, but still no tears came.



He felt Jenna let go. He looked up when she grabbed him by the shoulders and knelt down to look him in his face, forcing him to look into her eyes. His eyes. She said, "You did not let us down. Despite all that happened to you, what with the potion and the ugly divorce with mom, you never stopped loving us. You were always there for us, and we've never stopped loving you, we never will stop loving you, Dad." She gave him another hug and sat in a chair next to his bed, while Jonas sat on the other side.



He lay back down and tried to get some more sleep. What sleep he did get was riddled with horrible and depressing dreams. Dreams filled with memories of Sirius falling through The Veil, Dumbledore tumbling from the Astronomy Tower, dead before he cleared the crenellations, and the Final Battle, where so many of his classmates died.



------[*




Hermione woke up in a room that was not immediately recognizable. After a few seconds she remembered the events of the previous night that had led her to her parents' home. Numbly, she got up and went downstairs to the kitchen where her parents, now retired, were sitting, discussing random bits of news.



Her parents could see the pained look in their daughter's eyes, but had resolved not to pry. They were therefore surprised when Hermione threw her arms around her father and started crying her eyes out. Mr. And Mrs. Granger did all they could to comfort Hermione, and after a while she calmed down.



Hermione decided that she needed to speak to someone. When she had composed herself enough to speak at length, she told her parents about the revelations from the previous night. When she was done, she was on the verge of more tears. Her mother pulled her into a hug while she composed her answer.



"Hermione, dear, you know I can't tell you what to do, but I ask you to follow your heart, not your mind. You did that once before, over nineteen years ago. Instead of asking your mind what is better, ask your heart what it wants." Hermione's mother said.



"I've got some more thinking to do then, because my heart is still unsure of what it wants," she said, sounding depressed. She stood and went up to the room she had spent the night in.



------*]

[*


Harry woke up a couple of hours later. Sitting next to the bed were two people he didn't want to face at this time.



"Hi Dad. I hope you feel better soon," Albus said sadly. Or was it apprehensively?



James looked like he had been crying recently. "Jenna told us why you're in here. Do you hate us for what Mum did to you, Dad?" James seemed to be on the verge of more tears.



Harry looked at his first child with Ginny. While he didn't think could ever hate any of his children, he honestly didn't know how he felt about his three youngest after yesterday's revelations. "James, Albus, I don't think I'll ever be able to hate you, but right now, I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. Your mother took fifteen years from me. I can never forgive her for that. I can't blame you for what she did, but you are a constant reminder of it." He took ashuddering breath. After his children left, he turned on the WWN receiver to a station that mixed old muggle music in with wizard music. Soon asong came on that resonated with him, and for the first time since he learned the truth he was able to cry.



Animation
Breathes a cloudless mind
Fascination
Leaves the doubting blind
Until the circle breaks and wisdom lies ahead
The faithful live awake
The rest remain misled

Some will transcend spinning years
One as if time disappears

Innocence faded
The mirror falls behind you
Trinity jaded
I break down walls to find you

Callow and vain
Fixed like a fossil, shrouding pain
Passionless stage
Distant like brothers
Wearing apathetic displays
Sharing flesh like envy in cages
Condescending
Not intending to end

Some will transcend spinning years
One as if time disappears

Innocence faded
The mirror falls behind you
Trinity jaded
I break down walls to find you

Beginnings get complicated
The farther we progress
Opinions are calculated
Immune to openness

Beyond the circles edge
Were driven by her blessings
Forever hesitating
Caught beneath the wheel

Innocence faded
The mirror falls behind you
Cynically jaded
The child will crawl to find you.




When the song ended, felt alittle less alone. He still hurt, he still felt betrayed, but he no longer felt so isolated. He even was able to chuckle a little about a charming little song about country boners that came on after it. As he drifted off to sleep he realized that that was "Innocence Faded.' Their song. His and Hermione's. Tears flooded his eyes again as sleep took him.



------*]



Ginny walked into the kitchen to find an unfamiliar owl sitting on the windowsill. She let it in and the apparently old bird--not nearly as old as Errol had been when she started school, but old nonetheless--held out a foot with a note tied to it. Ginny took the note and the bird left immediately, almost disgustedly. She opened the tear-stained note from Hermione and her heart skipped a beat. How did she find out? If she knows, does that mean Harry knows too?



She was starting to panic when her daughter came into the kitchen, looking for breakfast. She forgot all about the note while making breakfast.



An hour later there was aknock on the door. Suddenly Ginny remembered the note. She grabbed her wand and checked the peephole. Breathing a sigh of relief when it turned out to be only her two brothers, Ron and George, she opened the door and let them in.



Ron noticed her white-knuckled grip on her wand and asked, with a mirthless smile, "Were you expecting You-Know-Who or something?"



Ginny forced a weak chuckle. "No, but you can never be too careful. What did you want?"



George pulled a phial out of his pocket. In it was a potion that Ginny was very familiar with. "Care to explain this, Ginevra?"



"What is it?" Ginny asked carefully. She knew she was ahorrible liar when put on the spot, but her mind had gotten stuck in evasion mode.



Ron was growing steadily angrier. "You know what it is. It's the love potion you used to break up Harry and Hermione's marriage. The love potion you've been using on him for the past seventeen years. We all know what it is; George and I just wanted to give you the chance to fess up first. I thought that perhaps you had learned the error in your ways. It seems not. How did you ever make it into Gryffindor anyway? Your actions over the past seventeen years are so very Slytherin. You disgust me."



Ginny was shocked. How did they find out? All she could manage to say was, "I thought you would appreciate the chance to be with Hermione. You certainly seemed to for the past fifteen years," this she spat venomously.



Ron backhanded her across the face. "You stupid, selfish, cunt! I had gotten over it by the time their twins were born. You were there when I agreed to be Jenna's godfather. You should have known I was over it. It tore me apart to see Hermione crying her eyes out after the fights. And when Harry demanded the trial separation, she barely spoke for a week afterwards! I regret not being there for them that first year after they were married. Because of you, Harry is on suicide watch and house arrest right now."



Ginny was crying. "B-but I l-lov-ve hi-im-m!" she wailed as she touched her fingers to her lips. The blow was hard enough that she'd bittin the inside of her lower lip, drawing blood.



Ron looked at his former sister for a minute before speaking in a softer, but no less cold or deadly, voice, "If you love someone, you're supposed to set them free. If they love you back, they'll return. If they don't, then you should be happy for them." Ron seemed too angry to continue.



George had been silent for long enough. "Do you realize you've brought three children into the world through a marriage based on lies, deception and coercion? Neither Ron, nor I know how Harry will react to them. I just hope he doesn't hate them."



Ron, calming down enough to speak once again, said, "How Harry reacts to your kids is the least of you worries, however, as Hermione is entirely within her right to challenge you to an honor duel. Such a duel would be to the death. You, of course, would have no chance against Hermione. Also, an honor duel is the only time when the Unforgivables are permissible, and I do believe she would--what was it Harry said that Lestrange slag said was necessary to cast the Unforgivables? Ah, yes--I do believe she would /mean them/. And you never answered us. Why?"



Ginny was scared stiff. "I love him," she finally managed to say in a weak voice.



George shook his head disdainfully, "No, Ginevra, you had a crush on the 'Boy-Who-Lived' from the age of seven. You never actually loved Harry. You were attracted to his fame. If you had truly loved him you would have been happy for him when he found love. We're going to try to arrange a meeting for Molly so she can apologize to Harry and Hermione without being cursed into oblivion. We want to know if you want to apologize to them as well. Oh, and don't even think of trying to slip Harry any more potions. All food packages sent to him are being checked for any sort of potions, the ones that contain them are being pitched."



Ginny nodded dumbly, and, before they left, asked, "Could one of you take Lily for the day for me?"



George went to retrieve his goddaughter, then left. When they were gone, Ginny curled into a ball in a corner of the kitchen and cried her eyes out. Eighteen years. Eighteen years of brewing that potion and giving it to Harry once a week, all down the drain.



------



That night in the Gryffindor common room Jonas and Jenna were sitting with their half-brothers trying to comfort them. James was looking almost as depressed as his father, and Albus looked even more so.



Jonas realized that their attempts to comfort them weren't working and decided that the younger boys needed to be taken to the hospital wing where Madame Midgen would know what to do with them. Hopefully.



When they got to the hospital wing and had them all sorted out Jonas quietly, so that Harry wouldn't hear, told Madame Midgen his opinion that Albus needed to be put on suicide watch, probably even more so than his father.



Jonas and Jenna were terrified as to what was going to happen to their family in the coming months. They did their best to comfort each other. By the time they went to bed they vowed to be the glue that held their family together. They had to be there for their half-brothers and half-sisters.



------



Another chapter down. Kinda started to ramble toward the end there. I hope you like it.



Questions? Comments? Plotholes? Put them in a review (Please!) and I will try to respond to them.[*
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