Categories > Original > Humor > Five Minute Soap Dish
Week 48
“So, then what happened?” Kelly asked.
“Well, I woke up, got my stuff and left for home,” Gia explained.
“So, you didn’t even say goodbye?”
“What was I going to say, Kelly? Thanks for last night, sorry for throwing myself at and on you, by the way, I’m not a slut, in case you were wondering. And I’ll gladly pay for dry cleaning,” Gia said, “No, I just went home to get changed, then called you for Lunch, and here I am.”
“And you’ve said nothing to him? After enticing him last night you haven’t even shared a word? What a bitch you are!” Kelly said, then grinned, “I must be having a good influence.”
“You’re not helping Kelly. And when I come to you I want help. If I wanted to be criticised and made fun of I’d go to Nick,” Gia said, “I mean, just when I thought I had gotten things straight with Steve, just when I thought we had a real nice, friendly relationship, and at the one point when I wasn’t particularly wanting a relationship-this happens.”
“And Steve didn’t try the moves on you at all?” Kelly asked.
“Well, my memory’s hazy of that night, but I seem to remember he was happy of the idea of sex when I suggested it,” Gia said, “But he tried to talk me out of it for a while though. And I think I made him change his mind when I vomited.”
“Oh no, that hasn’t stopped Steve before. Remember, he usually has his one night stand’s at Nick’s place-so he doesn’t have to pay for carpet cleaning,” Kelly said, “So, you proposition Steve, he resists the idea, then when he takes you back to his place he does nothing? Are you sure this is Steve? Arsehole? Works for a marketing firm? Likes Anime but won’t ever admit it?”
“Um…well I don’t know about the anime bit, but apart from that-yes, it was definitely Steve,” Gia said, “Kelly, how am I going to look him in the eye again? It’s going to be so awkward even just doing that.”
“Yeah, probably will. But only if you do nothing about it. But let’s not worry about that now. What I want to know is why you tried to screw him in the first place.”
“Well, I had drunk a lot…”
“And is that everything? Are you sure you weren’t using the alcohol for some liquid courage?” Kelly said, “I guess what I really want to know is whether your desire for Steve was alcohol dependant, just some rebound action after Mark, or based on some actual feelings.”
Gia looked down into her coffee, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to sleep with Steve now, but I kinda understand the way I felt last night. And, while I only split from Mark recently, I don’t really mind being single that much, so I guess I’m probably not just using Steve to avoid it.”
“Well, if it’s not alcohol dependant, or rebound action, that only leaves one thing, doesn’t it?” Kelly stared at Gia knowingly.
“Yeah…but…dammit, why did Steve make this so difficult? Saying he loved me back when I hated him. Now…now I’m comparing his feelings for me with my feelings for him, and….well I don’t love him. Not yet, at least.”
“So you might feel that way later?”
“Sure, I guess,” Gia said sheepishly, “I guess I’m just confused now.”
Kelly clicked her fingers to attract the attention of the waiter, “Could we have the bill please?”
The waiter nodded and went to get it. Gia was surprised at this, and definitely not pleased.
“But, but Kelly, we haven’t finished talking yet.”
“You haven’t. I’ve finished listening.”
“But, I still don’t know what to do with Steve!”
“Listen, Gia, I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you what your feelings are. I can’t tell you whether you actually want to be with Steve, or only wanted to sleep with him one night. I can only tell you to try and find out for yourself, and then tell Steve what to do,” Kelly said, “Though, trust my experience on this one-Steve has a hell of a lot of problems with relationships. Proceed with a great deal of caution. He may be certain you’re the one he’s been waiting for, and he might even believe that, but his body will probably disagree with him at one point.”
Gia nodded, “Okay. I’ll bear that in mine, when I go and figure out what to do, then contact Steve.”
“No, not yet.” Kelly said, grabbing Gia’s wrist.
“Why not?”
Kelly pointed to the waiter arriving with the bill, “You’re paying.”
“I am?”
“You didn’t think I’d listen to you blubber about Steve for free, did you?” Kelly asked, leaving the café.
“So, then what happened?” Kelly asked.
“Well, I woke up, got my stuff and left for home,” Gia explained.
“So, you didn’t even say goodbye?”
“What was I going to say, Kelly? Thanks for last night, sorry for throwing myself at and on you, by the way, I’m not a slut, in case you were wondering. And I’ll gladly pay for dry cleaning,” Gia said, “No, I just went home to get changed, then called you for Lunch, and here I am.”
“And you’ve said nothing to him? After enticing him last night you haven’t even shared a word? What a bitch you are!” Kelly said, then grinned, “I must be having a good influence.”
“You’re not helping Kelly. And when I come to you I want help. If I wanted to be criticised and made fun of I’d go to Nick,” Gia said, “I mean, just when I thought I had gotten things straight with Steve, just when I thought we had a real nice, friendly relationship, and at the one point when I wasn’t particularly wanting a relationship-this happens.”
“And Steve didn’t try the moves on you at all?” Kelly asked.
“Well, my memory’s hazy of that night, but I seem to remember he was happy of the idea of sex when I suggested it,” Gia said, “But he tried to talk me out of it for a while though. And I think I made him change his mind when I vomited.”
“Oh no, that hasn’t stopped Steve before. Remember, he usually has his one night stand’s at Nick’s place-so he doesn’t have to pay for carpet cleaning,” Kelly said, “So, you proposition Steve, he resists the idea, then when he takes you back to his place he does nothing? Are you sure this is Steve? Arsehole? Works for a marketing firm? Likes Anime but won’t ever admit it?”
“Um…well I don’t know about the anime bit, but apart from that-yes, it was definitely Steve,” Gia said, “Kelly, how am I going to look him in the eye again? It’s going to be so awkward even just doing that.”
“Yeah, probably will. But only if you do nothing about it. But let’s not worry about that now. What I want to know is why you tried to screw him in the first place.”
“Well, I had drunk a lot…”
“And is that everything? Are you sure you weren’t using the alcohol for some liquid courage?” Kelly said, “I guess what I really want to know is whether your desire for Steve was alcohol dependant, just some rebound action after Mark, or based on some actual feelings.”
Gia looked down into her coffee, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to sleep with Steve now, but I kinda understand the way I felt last night. And, while I only split from Mark recently, I don’t really mind being single that much, so I guess I’m probably not just using Steve to avoid it.”
“Well, if it’s not alcohol dependant, or rebound action, that only leaves one thing, doesn’t it?” Kelly stared at Gia knowingly.
“Yeah…but…dammit, why did Steve make this so difficult? Saying he loved me back when I hated him. Now…now I’m comparing his feelings for me with my feelings for him, and….well I don’t love him. Not yet, at least.”
“So you might feel that way later?”
“Sure, I guess,” Gia said sheepishly, “I guess I’m just confused now.”
Kelly clicked her fingers to attract the attention of the waiter, “Could we have the bill please?”
The waiter nodded and went to get it. Gia was surprised at this, and definitely not pleased.
“But, but Kelly, we haven’t finished talking yet.”
“You haven’t. I’ve finished listening.”
“But, I still don’t know what to do with Steve!”
“Listen, Gia, I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you what your feelings are. I can’t tell you whether you actually want to be with Steve, or only wanted to sleep with him one night. I can only tell you to try and find out for yourself, and then tell Steve what to do,” Kelly said, “Though, trust my experience on this one-Steve has a hell of a lot of problems with relationships. Proceed with a great deal of caution. He may be certain you’re the one he’s been waiting for, and he might even believe that, but his body will probably disagree with him at one point.”
Gia nodded, “Okay. I’ll bear that in mine, when I go and figure out what to do, then contact Steve.”
“No, not yet.” Kelly said, grabbing Gia’s wrist.
“Why not?”
Kelly pointed to the waiter arriving with the bill, “You’re paying.”
“I am?”
“You didn’t think I’d listen to you blubber about Steve for free, did you?” Kelly asked, leaving the café.
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