I said, we'll drown ourselves in misery tonight. White lies, you've worn out all your dancing shoes this time. Just give us war-worn lipstick by the door if I inflame.
What the fuck does he do here and with LIZ?! Is it some kinda twisted joke? But he looked so nice, he was in a suit too, just without a tie.
He looked really really good too, and hot...He could really work that suit and that hair...And the eyes...He was gorgeous...I wish I could gawp some more but Michelle and the other best man helped Ryan to drag me to the alter...Yet again, something pulls me away from him.
I could feel his gaze on my back the whole time, so I stood straighter and held my head higher.
After the official photos has been taken and the the official toast has been made and a few of the unofficial ones and the first dance which as the maid of honor I had to be on the fucking dance floor, I managed to slip away.
I thought I did really well today, I didn't cry, I didn't throw a fit over how I deserve my special day too, I did everything the Internet said a maid of honor should do, including throwing a bachelorette party and a bridal shower and everything was really nice...OK maybe I could be more cheerful and yay-ish but considering the circumstances I was as yay-ish as I could be.
I walked out to the big balcony kinda thing, it overlooked the lake and the green grounds but the sun set a few hours ago so it was 10 times more beautiful with the lake mirroring the lights.
I wondered how could I sit without ruining the dress but then again screw that shit, the dresses were Amy's gift to the bridal party so technically it's mine and god is my witness I'm not gonna wear that dress ever again so...I sloped on the balcony with my legs dangling down through the bars and my head resting against them.
I was exhausted, there's a certain amount of time I could fake joy and I was about to reach my limit, all I really wanted to do was to go home and stay there,to drown out all the voices, lights and music, they suffocated me and to add to my moodiness, Gerard's presence didn't help.
I could constantly feel him observing me, little needles on my skin, chills went constantly down my skin.
I hate being watched, and by him of all people! Gah and to bring his fucking slut here!
I know divorces aren't fun but I never thought he'll be the kind of person to rub it in.
Someone stumbled through the glass door, I looked up to see Billy and Michelle caught up in the most passionate kiss ever, I coughed a little cause I'm not a perv and I just don't wanna see it but they ignored my little cough.
I coughed again when Billy kinda pinned Michelle to the wall and lifted her dress, now I so don't wanna see it.
I snicked out as quietly as I could back to the ballroom and squinted at the bright lights and at the noise, I glanced around to make sure the zone is Gerard and his slut free and sat at the nearest table.
"Cake?", some elderly man offered me his piece of cake.
"No thank you", I smiled politely.
"A pretty girl like should eat cake", he insisted, "My ex wife never liked cakes, said they were too fat for her".
"I'm divorced too", I blurted.
I don't why, first cause I don't know him, second cause he was drunk out of his mind and third cause I don't fucking know him!!
We stared at each other for a while, "I loved my wife"
"I loved my husband too, I still do", I turned a little to face him.
"He's alive?", the man raised his eyebrows.
"He's here tonight with his new wife", I said sadly.
"That's sad", he nodded.
And then as he was nodding, his head fell into the cake he was offering me earlier face first.
I shrieked and looked around, trying to lift him out of the cake but he was too heavy for me.
"Don't worry, doll, it's his tradition", one of Amy's aunts was passing through on her way to the dance floor.
"Oh man, I bet 30 years from now I'll be in the same place", I leaned back in my chair, talking to the passed out guy, "Drunk and in a pie, godmother to Amy's 7th kid. Always brides maid, never a bride. I'll be like the weird chick everyone calls an aunt but is not actually related to anyone, I'll probably have some kinda cat fetish by then and I'll molest them, or at least that would be the word on the street", I sighed, "I'd give them all marriage advice and would be the funny smelling aunt that all the kids are scared of, I'll leave in a shack in the end of the town and on Halloween kids would break into my house cause I'm like the towns witch or bitch, and my Jersey accent will finally kick in and I'll bake loads of cookies for no one and then steal kids balls and then one will feel sorry for me and stop throwing rocks at my window and then I'll be the old cat pedophile".
"Can I talk to you?", Gerard sat in the opposite empty chair.
"I'm busy", I grumbled.
"Doing what? Grumbling about cats?", he smiled.
He was so pretty, my heart threw itself against my rib cage like a lunatic, "I do not grumble. I'm talking to uncle Vernon".
"Isn't it Albert?", he leaned to read the little name card next to the guys plate.
"Vernon is a nickname", I shrugged.
"He looks kinda busy", Gerard jerked his head at Vernon.
I shrugged and fiddled with the napkin.
"You look pretty tonight", Gerard leaned a little to mutter in my ear, "I never saw you wearing green before"
I blushed a little, "Thank you"
After a few moments of silence he spoke again, "I'm sober now you know"
My head shut up, making me wince with pain, "You are? That's awesome"
Gerard nodded, "I'm seeing a therapist too"
I smiled, "I'm happy for you"
"I don't wanna divorce so I did it for us"
"What the fuck, Gerard?" I kinda snapped, I mean how could he sit there and smooth talk me while his wife is in the fucking room? I never thought he's that kind of guy.
His jaw dropped and he frowned, "I don't understand"
"Your motherfucking wife is here", I hissed, "And you're trying to get back with me"
"You're my motherfucking wife", he pulled back, "Unless you have other personalities I'm unaware of"
"Sure make fun of the mentally ill and no, I'm not your wife", I gripped the napkin like my life was depending on it, "Liz is"
"Liz what?", he exclaimed, "What are you on?"
"Yes, the papers said so and the ring and ugh..", I stood up sharply, knocking my chair back, "You gave her my ring you fucker, how could you?"
"I didn't", he reached for the chair.
"I'm not you legal wife", I blurted out.
"What?", he gave me a look and froze.
"I went to a lawyer and he said out marriage was invalid", my heart dropped to my knees and threw itself against bones there, it was so painful to say it.
"You went...Invalid?", Gerard looked like I felt, like he was thrown out of balance.
I nodded, sitting back, "So you don't have to lie, you're free, I'm not chaining you anymore".
he sat in silence for a few minutes, "You went to a divorce attorney?"
"Yeah Billy took me to their family friend", I sighed.
"Billy?", he clenched his teeth, "Motherfucking bastard"
"Oh don't start", I scolded him.
"He's trying to get his claws on you ever since you met him", Gerard's face clenched in rage but his voice was cold.
"Blah blah blah, at least I didn't marry him in a drop of the hat", I rolled my eyes, "Besides, cut the bullshit, you knew we weren't legally married if you married Liz"
"Liz isn't", he started but I caught him off, I couldn't stand him disrespect his wife even though I'd throw her off high places at any given day, "Just stop. Couldn't you at least bought another ring? Did you have to rub it in? And to bring her here?", I gave him a disgusted look.
"Liz isn't..", Gerard muttered again.
"Fuck you", I said quietly, "I swear, one more word and I'm gonna feed you cake!"
"So is he sleeping in my bed? Fucking you on my sheets?", Gerard looked up and a sparkle set off in his eyes, "Touching you? Holding you? Kissing you?"
"Whoa! How dare you say shit like that to me?", I exclaimed, his words slicing my poor heart down at my knees, "You fucking remarried and brought her here!"
"I didn't!", he threw his hands in the air in despair.
"OK let's play fact or fiction. You married her? Fact!", I lowered my voice a little since we were drawing attention, "You used my ring? Fact! You brought her here? Fucking fact!"
"What the fuck?", he leaned forward again, "You wanna play games? That's our life we're talking about"
"There's no we", I motioned on us, "There's you and Liz and I wish you luck, I really do but don't expect me at the wedding"
"Will you cut the Liz bullshit?", he sighed heavily, rubbing his temples, "I should've known...I called so many times and every fucking time he picked up the phone. Why didn't you wait for me?"
"Wait for you? You're married!"
"I am not married"
"you know what", I could feel the tears coming and I didn't want to do it here, not now that I was doing so well, "I don't wanna play anymore".
I went to look for Bob since I avoided him all evening out of fear of running into Gerard but now there's no danger of it happening.
I found Bob going heavy on the cake, "Skyler, you're drop dead gorgeous", he kissed me with white cream cake still on his lips.
"Thanks, you're one hot mama yourself", I wiped the cream off my cheek.
"Never again", he threaten me with his index finger.
"Come on, you look hot!", I teased him
"You just called me hot mama, I rest my case", he shoved another piece of cake in his mouth, "Great cake. My 5th piece"
"Aw Bob", I giggled, "Lucky they have like gabillion layers"
"Gabillion is not a number", he smirked.
"Been talking to Amy, huh?"
He shrugged, "So have you seen Gerard? We really should be heading back to the airport"
I nodded, I knew what he was trying to do and the whole purpose of why he brought him here was clear to me.
"Hmm", Bob shoved more cake in his mouth, "Good talk?"
"Bob", I sighed, "He moved on, it's over"
He chocked a little on his cake, I hit him on his back, "Are we talking about the same Gerard Way?"
"Yeah", I handed him a glass of champagne to wash down the cake.
"He told you that?", Bob dawned the champagne and proceeded to stare at me.
"Well yeah, he's sober, he's doing great and he remarried", I explained, even though I didn't think I did such a fantastic job at it because Bob was still staring at me as though I fell off the moon.
"Remarried who? And if you mean him and Frank then it doesn't really count", he smirked.
"No I mean Liz", I pointed at Liz who was dancing with Ryan now.
"Liz? Liz? Liz?", Bob repeated, "He said he married Liz? Or that he wants to marry Liz? How exactly did Liz popped up in the conversation?"
"I'm not stupid, Bob", I snapped, his whole manner said you're stupid, "I read papers and he dragged her here"
"But he mentioned her?", he abandoned his cake and stared at me.
"No he actually denied the whole thing which is kinda disrespectful of him", I told him.
"And then what?", Bob demanded.
"And then I walked off",
"Some things never change", he shook his head, "So that was it? You talked about Liz and you stormed off?"
"No we talked about Billy and the lawyer and then I stormed off", I corrected him.
"You're dating Billy?", he frowned.
"You stupid stupid motherfuckers", Bob threw his hands in the air, "I know I swore not to get in the middle of it but you two are soooo thick, you put the fucking I in idiots"
I frowned, what the fuck?
"No you do! It's like the one is talking Chinese and the other fucking Spanish and you can't buy a freaking dictionary"
"Is this metaphor going somewhere?", I humphed impatiently, I feel bad enough without Bob telling me how stupid I am. With metaphors.
"Let me paint this picture for you", Bob pulled me to a quitter corner away from the speakers, "Liz is his friend, why is he dragging her to make up with his wife is beyond me but she's just a friend, they don't fuck, they don't date, they don't kiss, just f-r-i-e-n-d-s. OK? We get it so far?"
I nodded a little.
"No say it with me, Gerard and Liz are just friends", he nudged me, "Come on"
"Bob", I whined.
"No say it, I want it to settle in that motherfucking stubborn head of yours. Gerard and Liz are friends"
"Say it", he insisted.
"I get it", I exclaimed.
"No say it", he reached out and after a short struggle grabbed my lips with his both hands and moved them, saying 'Gerard and Liz are just friends'
I slapped his hands away, "Fuck off"
"Good. Now that we understood that Gerard and Liz aren't married we're moving to our next lesson. Gerard. loves. You.gerard. Loves. Skyler. Skyler. Is. Loved. By. Gerard. Gerard. Got. Cleaned. Because. He. Doesn't. Want. To. Lose. Skyler", Bob talked really slowly, waving his hands around, "Gerard hearts Skyler. We understand?"
I nodded like an idiot.
"Now here's another fact...Ready? Everything is understood? Gerard is going to kill Billy cause now Gerard thinks Billy is doing Skyler", he stopped the baby talk and frowned, "Billy isn't doing Skyler, right?"
"Billy isn't doing Skyler", I agreed.
"Good. So Gerard is gonna kill Billy for nothing", he looked behind me and then at his watch, "we gotta get to the airport, you wanna me to talk to him?"
"No Bob", I shook my head as if I want to settle all the thoughts running wild there, "Let me handle this"
"Oh god, not again", he rolled his eyes.
"I can take care of things, Bob", I stuck my index finger in his chest, "Gerard is clean, I'm not dead, just give me a break, I've held on the best I could"
"I know, baby", he pulled me in for a hug, "It just takes ages"
"Does he honestly wants me back?", I muttered in Bob's chest, "After I left him in his lowest?"
"In a way you did him a favor", Bob squeezed me tighter, "He stopped drinking, stopped with the coke and meds, if it wasn't for his smoking habits, he'd be a good scout boy"
I smiled, "But why did he put on the ring?"
"To tell you he's not afraid to live anymore, that he wants you back and that you mean a lot to him...God Sky, you should've given him a chance to explain before walking off, he deserves to say he loves you after working so hard to figure out shit.", he just hugged me for a while before speaking again, "You know what, you're coming to talk to him right fucking now", he grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the lit ballroom.
He stopped and scanned the area with his eyes, squinting. I guess he couldn't see Gerard so he dragged me to where Liz was standing with Ryan, "Where's Gee?
It took Liz a few seconds to register what he wanted from her before she stood on her tiptoes and craned her neck to look around, "I don't know"
"Fuck", Bob dropped my wrist, "he probably left"