FicWad

Sorry for not updating for so ling, hopefully this will make up for it.
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How do you know when you're in love? I know it's different with everyone, but how do you really know for sure? Is it when you can't stop thinking about him for one second for days and days? Is it when you think about him, you start to cry because you hope that you're the only girl for him, and pray he'd never have another, just you? Or is that the way whenever you think about him you smile, and think about the moments that he's happy, and smile because you know that that he's happy? How do you ever really know for sure? Is it even possible to just know?

How do you stop yourself from showing everyone else that you love him? How do you show him that you miss him when he's not there? How can you tell him that you love him, when the words won't come out? How do you not cry when you listen to a love song, and it seems like it was just written for the two of you, and you smile and cry at the same time because it reminds you so much of him?

But what happens if he was already taken, and didn't tell you?

I've lead to tell myself that Patrick wasn't that kind of person, but my thoughts and wonderments had failed me.

I mean, how could he be that person? He's Patrick. I had never would have expected that from Patrick. The one who's always supposed to be shy, the only who blushes at every single little comment he recieves. The one that you could fall for within a blink of an eye, without knowing a thing about him.

He's Patrick Stump, he wasn't supposed to be the bad guy. Not him.

You would never expect Patrick to be that person. I didn't. The day I found out, the world came crashing down.

It was just after we had gotten signed.

It was our first day in a real recording studio. Let's just say everyone was more than pumped.

There I was sitting in a small chair in the recording studio waiting for Patrick and Pete to come back from a quick interview. It wasn't planned, but when these things come up, you just can't turn them down. I guess that's part of the deal when you agree to become a big rock star. I didn't mind anyway, it gave me some time to think, nothing bad, just thinking.

"Where did I put my cell phone?" I said quietly to myself, as I fumbled around through my hoodie pockets.

"Did you see the look on that interviewers face when i told her that we were gay together?" Pete said laughing, as he and Patrick made their way through the studio door.

Oh no, what did they do know? Scratch that, I don't want to know. Some things are just better left unsaid.

"Yeah, she looked as if she was going to shit herself!" Patrick said hasitily gasping for breath as he followed Pete to where I was sitting.

"Oh no, what did you guys do now?" I said immediately regretting that question.

Pete was still in hysterics.

"The interviewer asked me if I was single or still seeing Ashlee and I gave her a big surprise when I told her that Patrick and I had just recently came out of the closet with Patrick."

By now they were both now in hysterics more than they were before.

"Yeah Andrea, you should of have had seen her face, it was PRICELESS!" Patrick said, still gasping for more breath, as he bent down on the table trying to catch his breath.

By now, I couldn't help but laugh. It was a classic Pete Wentz move, I was just surprised to know that Patrick actually went along with it.

I wished I was there, I would have loved to have seen that interviewer basically shit herself. That would have been so hilarious.

After that moment of priceless-ness had passed both Patrick and Pete were discussing how the album was going to be produced. Patrick had agreed to co- produce it, after all, he had insisted. I was more than thrilled to see Patrick basically everyday for months, until the album was finished.

"So I was thinking that Andrea today, that you could just lay down the vocals to Sunset Setting, since you guys already did the instruments and everything yesterday. I know we ran out of time yesterday for the vocals, because I know you guys had to pay for that session, I'm really sorry that you had to come back here today." Pete exclaimed.

"Oh no, it's fine, all part of the experience right?" I gave Pete a smile, and he led the way into the recording booth.

He just showed me some basic steps for using all the equipment, then he left and joined Patrick outside.

I was still amazed about all the equipment, I got more excited than I probably should have, but I didn't care.

"Okay Andrea, whenever you're ready." Patrick said through the speaker.

I gave Patrick a thumbs up. He counted down for me, and I began to sing.

About five hours, and many, many hours of relaying lyrics over and over again, (I swear Patrick only made me relay all those lyrics just because he wanted to hear me sing. Sunset Setting is a love song that I wrote about the idea about being in love), I was finished. Pete had long gone home, he was bored. Wow, what a nice boss he was. But I didn't mind I got some alone time with Patrick, it was just me and him- and a big glass window separating us but still I was with him.

"Okay, I got that last part, it was really good, you're done for today." He said to me through the speaker, giving me a wink.

I walked out of the booth tiredly, and gathered up my hoodie and the rest of my belongings, and just sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

It was just calling me, standing up for five hours straight can be pretty hard on a person.

Patrick turned around and faced me.

"Tired?" He asked. I swore I could hear just a hint of happiness in his voice. Strange.

"Exhausted, it was a lot harder than I thought, I don't know how you do it."

He laughed at my statement, I guess that I was amusing to him, after singing the same song over and over for him for the past five hours, I really didn't find it funny.

"Ahh, you just get used to it I guess."

Then he laughed again.

"Something funny Mr. Stump?" I asked, quirking my right eyebrow up.

"Just the way you look right now, Andrea."

"Oh, and how is that amusing Mr. Stump?"

"You look the same way you did when I first came to see your band, after you got all embarrassed. Only now, you just look really, really tired."

"Well I'm glad that I amuse you Mr. Stump, atleast my initials aren't PMS." I said laughing.

I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself, I just couldn't resist.

He looked mortified. The look on his face was priceless.

"Oh no, you just didn't say that."

His facial expression just made me laugh harder. It got to the point where I was actually on the floor in fits of laughter.

"What's so funny?" /At this point, he was laughing too./

"Your...facial...expression, it.. was...ju-just too- price-priceless."

I remained laughing on the floor, by now I couldn't even breathe because I was laughing so hard.

He moved out of his chair and bent down on the floor, lowering himself to my level.

His face was now mere inches away from mine. He was so close that I could feel his hot breath on my face.

"I don't think it's that funny, how would you like to go through life, with your initials being PMS, you have no idea, it's torture."

I can tell you that right there, that he had tried to keep the most serious face, but he had just failed miserably.

A huge smile had spread across his face.

That smile could kill me.

Just having him that close to me, made me tremble, he was now very close, only his face was very close to mine.

My breath hitched in my throat. I knew, there was impulse ready to be released for a kiss.

His face came towards so close mine, that we were only mere centimeters apart, even if that, and he whispered my name so softly.

"Andrea?"

"Yes Patrick?"

I looked up from looking down at the carpet, and I looked at his big green eyes staring back at me.

In his eyes I saw something that I had never seen before.

He was about to say something, then he looked down at the carpet. His face flushed bright red.

"Patrick, what is it?" /I made him look in my eyes./

He turned bright red again, as he faced me again.

I could tell he was beginning to get very shy.

He was silent for a moment, then he leaned closer to me, if that was even possible, and started to stutter.

I could tell that he was trying really hard to say something, but his mouth just couldn't form the words.

Finally, he caught himself, and his words flowed out like water.

"Andrea, would it be alright if I-- I kissed you?"

As soon as he said that he looked immediately down at the carpet.

I could tell he was really embarrassed, it was really cute. I couldn't help myself, I just started to smile.

I took his hands and mine, and softly kissed them, letting him know that was my response.

He blushed profusely.

He slowly put his arms around my waist, and as softly as he could, pulled me into his lap.

In his lap, I looked up into his eyes. That gleam was still there. I know what he wanted.

I positioned myself so that my legs were around his waist, and I slowly put my arms around his neck, stroking the back of his neck. I could feel his tiny hairs sticking up again, letting me know, that I had done something right again.

He pulled me closer to him, now I could feel his heartbeat against my chest.

I had begun to start to shake a little bit. My nervousness was reflecting off of me. He could sense it too, because he spoke up.

"Andrea?" he whispered.

"Yes Patrick?" /I answered back without looking back up at him, only staring down at the floor. I nervously started to play with the back of his collar on his shirt. Twitching and fiddling it in between my fingers./

He moved one arm from around my waist and lifted my chin up with his hand, so that he could look at my face.

He looked me straight in my eyes.

I wondered if that he could tell what I was thinking.

"You don't have to be nervous with me." He said in the calmest voice possible.

I could tell that he was trying to read my mind, trying to get an insight into what I was thinking, if he hadn't already done that already.

I know that all that he was going to was kiss me, not make love to me, but I couldn't help but being nervous.

Did I mention that I still haven't been kissed?

"Patrick,- I-." /My breath hitched in my throat again, I couldn't breath again./ Damn the hitching.

"Patrick, I- I haven't been kissed before, ever."

I looked down, not wanting to see his facial expression. Now he probably wasn't going to kiss me now, because I had just told him my secret.

Damn my honesty and nerves.

He only lifted my face up again, so that I could face him again.

"I'm surprised that no guy has kissed you yet, they were probably too afraid to kiss you.

That made me blush.

"Well I guess I'm the luckiest guy on earth, being the first one to kiss you." /He smiled and leaned very close to me./

All of sudden, my nervousness had disappeared.

I leaned in and I kissed him.

That was probably the most wonderful thing that I had ever experienced in my life up to that point.

The touch of his warm lips connecting with mine.

I felt as though as if I was going to melt into a puddle right there in his lap.

I was going dizzy, I felt as if I would lose my balance at any moment, even though I was sitting down.

That was the most wonderful thing ever.

I had wanted to laugh and cry and scream all at the same time.

I could feel a bulge beginning to form right in---yeah you get the idea.

I could feel his hands move up and down my back in slow circular motions, then he found the hem off my shirt, and as gently as possible move his hands underneath my shirt, and start to rub again.

I swear I felt as if I was being electrocuted.

Sparks were surging through my body.

I didn't want him to stop, I just wanted to kiss him forever, but reluctantly he broke the kiss.

We were both out breath.

"Wow, are you sure you haven't been kissed before?" He said out of breath.

I only nodded my head, slightly embarrassed.

I saw him smile, I really though I was going to melt.

I couldn't even think straight my mind was still going crazy.

Then I had kissed him again, before he even had the chance to say something.

Patrick Stump is truly an amazing man.
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I got up from the couch and quickly cursed myself, from letting myself relive the memories from the night before.

It was funny how your life could change so suddenly.

I couldn't believe Patrick hadn't told me, he just led me on. But at the same time I also wanted to believe him for saying that he truly had broken up with her.