I’ve never seen Gerard like this. So sad. Wanting to kill himself. Almost succeeding! My heart stopped as he was wheeled out from one of the doors on a drip and a large stretcher. Cuts and bruises covered him. Blood was running out from his nose. His own head. Frankie couldn’t stand seeing this, and he turned around covering his eyes with his hands and cried silently. Mikey was the only one who seemed to be staring into space. I was the only one who was completely aware of Gerard. Then something caught the corner of my eye. Gerard’s eyes opened! But joy turned to horror as he suddenly struggled to sit upright and went crazy
“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS! LET ME LIVE? LET ME FUCKING LIVE?! I DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE! I SHOULD’VE DIED TONIGHT! YOU RUINED IT! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! AHHHHHHH!!!!” Gerard let out a bloodcurdling scream and that shot me in the heart. How could he say this? He deserves to live!
This made Frankie turn around.
“Gerard? Oh no. Gerard don’t go down this road again! You know what it’s like! I can’t let you do this again!” Frankie screamed
“YOU CAN’T LET ME DO THIS AGAIN? IT WASN’T YOUR FUCKING CHOICE! I-I-..” Gerard’s yells faded as his breathing went fast, sharp and he suddenly clutched his throat and fell down on the stretcher, eyes closed.
“GERARD?? NO! This is all my fault! All my fucking fault!” I shouted as I immediately made my way towards Gerard who was wheeled into the Emergency Care sector. Frankie held me back and wrapped his arms around me.
“No it’s not your fault. It can never be your fault. Don’t think that.” Frankie said as he stroked my hair.
“This was my fault.” Frankie whispered.