“Hey Ray. What’s up??”
“Well, Mikey said you needed to talk to me….? Is that right?” Ray said, whilst looking interestedly at Gerard’s comic strip, which involved a young, black haired boy cowering away from an array of ghosts, zombies and monsters.
“Oh Yeah!” Gerard leaped up as he suddenly remembered. “I’ve noticed Frank is a hell of a lot better, I think that he should start performing again! Don’t you?”
Ray let out a sigh and sat on the couch, indicating to the vacant seat next to him for Gerard to sit on, which he did.
“You see, the thing is, Gee, That I Don’t think he should…”
Just seeing Gerard’s face fall in that instant made Ray feel guilty.
“You know just as well as me, Gerard, that Frank is not fine. We know, okay! The rest of the band knows about the drugs!”
“What!?” Gerard Yelped, his eyes wide with shock, “I mean.. how did you find out?? I didn’t leave any hints, I was sure of it!”
Gerard was desperate to show his loyalty, if Frank found out that the rest of the band knew then…
“Gee, Dude! Pillows need to be washed every once in a while!”
Then it dawned on him – the pillow! That’s where Frank stashed his supply. And, yes, pillows do need to be washed.
Ray continued, “And even if we hadn’t have found the drugs we already knew. The way he’s been acting recently, the late nights, the dilated pupils… and the fact he’s usually completely out of it! It was obvious! It’s like a repeat of you all over again…” Ray ended with a trail of sadness in his voice.
Then Gerard realized, the rest of the band had been through all of this before, all the pain, and the late nights, and the suicide talks. Though that occasion, Gerard had been the cause.
“Gerard, dude. Why do you still protect him?? After all he’s doing to you, even at this very moment?” Ray asked. Gerard knew the answer straight away, it as because he still loved Frank. As he opened his mouth to reply something attracted his attention.
Suddenly, a slight commotion could be heard from outside, Gerard leapt off his chair and out of the bus door to find an agitated Pete Wentz supporting a swaying Frank on his arm, looking seriously unimpressed.
“Hey, Gerard, If you’re pet here tries to piss on our bus ONE more time….” Pete threatened trailing off, but he needn’t have completed the sentence anyway, Gerard knew what Pete was capable of.
“Oohh, lookiesshhh heerre.” Frank slurred from under Pete’s arm, who hastily pushed Frank in the direction of Gerard, “It’sshhh Mister I-cann-jumpp-off-a-car in my musshhic videosss…”
“I think he should get therapy….” Pete stated as he looked at Frank in disgust.
“Yeah?? Since when did your opinion count? He has all the help he could need right here.” Gerard snapped, before hauling Frank onto the bus and slamming the door.
“Well, Don’t I even deserve a thank you?” Pete muttered before turning back towards his own tour bus.
Gerard turned towards Frank who was slumped against the opposite wall, head lolled to one side and a stream of drool coming from the corner of his mouth.
“Frankie, this has to stop. You can’t keep going on like this.” Gerard gulped, he was worried about Frank’s reaction but he knew that it was for the best.
Frank attempted an innocent act, failing. “Stop what, Gee-gee??”
“Uhhm… The binging, the drugs, the all night benders, the urinating on people, the randomly disappearing for hours on end! It has to stop! I’m doing this for you!”
Frank climbed to his feat and leaned in close to Gerard, their faces no less than 2 inches apart.
“Oh yeah?? Just because your life is so sad and pathetic that you have to worry about mine, that doesn’t mean that you have to control it aswell!” Frank raged, anger sparked in his eyes, “You think you can boss me around, because I’m so worthless? You think you can replace me? Well, SHOVE YOU! I don’t know why I ever loved you in the first place…”
Gerard knew that Frank was unaware of what he was saying, and he obviously wouldn’t be able to recall it in the morning, and would deny that he had truly meant them, but they hurt. Each word felt like the stab of a dagger to Gerard.
He simply opened and closed his mouth, attempting to conjure a reply. He realized that the rest of his band mates had all bore witness to the scene, each person had a solemn look upon their face. Frank could be heard retching in the bathroom. Another mess to be cleaned up by Gerard tomorrow…
The thoughts in his brain whizzed around to no end, giving him a slight headache. His emotions were scattered around every area of his body, all wounded and in pain. It felt as though his heart had been removed from his body, ripped apart and thrown around as confetti.
He did the one thing his body had the energy or will to do. He walked slowly towards the bunk area, slipped into his own bunk and began to sob. He didn’t care if the whole of the tour members heard him, or the majority of wherever they were situated at that time could…
Where had the love and happiness he and Frank had once shared gone?? Since Christmas it had slowly disintegrated into non existence. Every time he thought of Frank those words replayed themselves in Gerard’s mind.
“I don’t know why I ever loved you in the first place…”