Uh Ohhh! I feel some more troubleee
The sobbing from the other room had subsided, but muffled sniffs could still be heard. Frank hadn’t emerged from the bathroom yet, the rest of the band assumed that he had simply passed out, only to wake tomorrow in a pool of his own puke and the mother of all hangovers.
There was a subdued silence in the living area of the bus, nobody was quite sure what action to take next, so they all felt it best to do nothing at all. Bob was tapping absent-mindedly on the table that Gerard had been working on only hours earlier. Ray was sat transfixed on nothing in particular, just brewing his own thoughts in his mind. Mikey was dozing lightly next to Ray, his glasses askew and his mouth hanging open.
Jack was pacing the small area of the bus, trying to take everything in, he had only been on with this band for no less than two weeks, but he felt so close to each individual member (Well, maybe not Frank as much..) that he would hate to see them fall apart at the seams so easily. If it wasn’t for him, maybe things would have worked out better…
Jack stopped abruptly at the sink and retrieved a glass from the overhead cupboard, he filled it up with cold water and walked bravely into the bunk are towards an upset and likely de-hydrated Gerard.
It was silent in the bunk area, but Jack could easily distinguish the fact that Gerard was awake within the fortress of his blankets. He bent down, regardless of Gerard’s wishes to be left alone and pulled the blankets away from his body. Gerard gazed up at him, his eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were pale and tear stained. Jack handed him the glass of water, of which he took gratefully and began to take small sips.
Never had Gerard seemed so small before, not just in the physical form, but as a person. He had been reduced to an almost child like state, hiding away from all the bad things in life until they went away. They would never go away though, unless he faced them.
Jack took a seat by Gerard’s legs on the bed, he shuffled uncomfortably, unable to think of what to say.
“You’re not pathetic, don’t listen to Frank, he doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
“You don’t mean that.” Gerard replied, muffled by the blankets framing his face, he then sat up and shuffled nearer to Jack. Gerard’s coal-colored hair was knotted and greasy and fell into his eyes.
“I do. You’re an amazing person, Gerard.” Jack insisted, his hand grasping onto Gerard’s and giving it a tight squeeze. “Frank’s a stupid person to give love like yours away.”
Gerard’s lips curved into a slight smile, but the sadness was still present in his eyes.
“No, I really am pathetic, Jack. I could have stopped this from happening I could have protected him from the dangers he could face – that he’s facing right now! It’s my fault completely… And he is right… Why did he love me in the first place?” Gerard’s voice quavered and he took another delicate sip out of the glass held in his spare hand.
“He loved you because you’re you! You’re Gerard Way. The most caring, loving and kind person I and many other people have ever had the good fortune to meet.”
Jacks eyes held pure sincerity in them. Gerard felt touched by what had been said, but he still felt hollow and alone. In his mind, all the compliments in the world meant nothing unless they were said from the lips of the person you loved more than anything in the world. And the only thing to come out of his loved ones mouth that night was bitter, hate filled offences. He appreciated Jack’s attempt, but he would never be able to mend the gaping tear in Gerard’s heart. The silence that lingered in the air was not that of an awkward presence, but more of mutual understanding between the two men.
“I’m sorry to say this to you, Gerard, but I think you have a right to know….” Began Jack, his eyes wide as he began to chew his lip.
“What?? What is it??” Gerard demanded, what would make Jack worry like that?
“I LOVE you Gerard! I’ve never felt this way about any body else in my whole sad life. I need you!”
Gerard coughed up the water he had been sipping at the time and examined Jack’s face for any sign of a joke, there was none. He was serious.
“You don’t mean that. Are you sure? I don’t believe this…” He stuttered, how could Jack love him? According to Frank he was pathetic, a nobody. Now the whole image he had gathered of himself was being destroyed and rebuilt according to Jack’s words.
“Would you believe me if I did this??”
Jack lifted up Gerard’s chin lightly so their eyes met, and then locked his lips against the other mans. The kiss felt like a hundred volts pulsating through their veins, it was loving but passion filled. Their tongues roaming in each others mouth and battling for dominance, their lips smacking against the other and making the occasional smooching noise. This was everything Gerard should have been experiencing with Frank, the love they should have felt for each other, or more accurate, the love Frank should have felt for Gerard.
Gerard felt guilty at himself for imagining his acts of love with one man whilst fulfilling them with another, but he was trapped in the moment without any anticipation for it to end.
That was until he caught a glimpse of a figure standing in the doorway watching over the scene. That figure belonged to no other than… Frank. His mouth hung open lopsidedly and his eyes were watering. He swiftly walked over to Gerard and Jack.
“Sorry to interrupt, I’m just getting my Jacket.” He said, keeping his voice on a steady tone, he picked up one of his black hoodies and made his way out again, but not before he kicked Jack square in the face, causing him to fall to the floor and bleed.
Frank sprinted out of the bus and into the darkness. Gerard, leaving the bleeding lump on the floor followed in pursuit of Frank, god knows what he would do in a temper like his…