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Reviews

• Peace of Mind

  (#) DarthBill 2006-02-21

  Normally, I try to steer clear of the sad stories, but I guess I was just in the mood today. Very nicely written. If I wasn't a guy, I would be crying.
  
  
  
  Author\'s Response: Thank you! It's nice to get a review from an author I respect. ^_^ (I'm awful at typing these replies, can't you tell?)

• Peace of Mind

  (#) Ithilwen 2006-04-25

  This doesn't quite do it for me as a story and I think I've figured out why: You don't really explain why Harry would be so convinced that there was no peace of mind to be found in this world. Sure, I can think of plenty of reasons, but I need to know which ones you're using. The Harry from the books had a sucky life, sure, but he loved his friends and his hope and had been repeatedly shamed about "throwing/risking his life" when his parents had made such a sacrifice.
  
  The last line, however, is quite Hermione.
  
  Minor grammar etc. nits: A stray period here, a comma missing there. There are lots of places where you should use the past perfect instead of the regular past tense. It's nothing that gets in the way of the story.
  
  (myself "How could I have done that?".)
  
  There should be a comma after "myself" and no period.
  
  (Some looked up at him with surprise, they had already assumed he was dead.)
  
  Run-on sentence. Switch that comma for a semicolon or make a new sentence and you're good.
  
  (flinching at my slap, as I once knew him to do,)
  
  as I had once known him to do

  Author's response

  Heh, wow, help! Thank you. I know it has those problems, I'd think it would be hard for it not to! I spent a total of fifteen minutes on it and own a good word processor I do not. Added on to the fact I originally had written this a year and a half ago... You're right I need to do some editing. I've just been a tad lazy ^^ - Thanks again.

• Peace of Mind

  (#) LadyKnightKeladry 2009-03-16

  I like it. It sets a good tone and I can kind of see Harry doing that though you never explained why Hermione was that angry in the first place. I mean, yes, I get that it was after a DE attack but he could have been captured and didn't want to think about it. I think you should elaborate more in the beginning if you're going to edit.

• Peace of Mind

  (#) Holyblade8 2018-11-16

  Sorry no. Not enough of anything in this story. No explanations, no character personality seen in anyone. Just a few actions that make no sense. You need a lot more to actually make this a story.

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