- Interesting. This chapter is definately slower-paced than the others but I don't mind as a 'constant high' can be wearing on the reader.
An interesting idea, putting Hermione with Justin. Don't worry about making it 'troo luv' or something like that. They are still only young - maybe it will work out in the long-term, maybe it won't. It is the finding out that is the fun part.
I liked Harry's stay in the dungeons. It was intereresting to see how the Slytherins were reacting to him. What is the bet that they initially thought he was there to attack them?
I also like the idea of alcoholic!Draco. I wonder if he will extend his new declining habits to the rest of the school. I think the thought of him turning up drunk for every lesson could be an excellent basis for comedy.
Why does everyone think that Tonks totally lacks domestic skills? I admit that it is funny and in character, but I can't really imagine Andy letting her get away with it.
It is odd but only the flashback scene at the outset and the part with Tonks is really significant to the overall plot. We are slowly seeing Harry sort out his life and getting clues to how he is planning to break the chains of the so-called 'light'.
BenRG's Rating: 8/10
Author's response- My intention for this entire fic was for it to be a slow paced bit of fluff. Then Daphne happened, and threw all my plans off. Ah well.
- After screwing her over so throughly with Ron, I wanted to get her into a gentle relationship that may or may not become physical. It occurred to me that I've never seen a Hermione/Justin pairing which is odd considering how much they have in common.
- The dungeon scene was to show that if Harry wants to be with Daphne, he needs to know her world as much as she needs to know his. Given the two dimensional tension between the houses, I suspect that a simplistic "Gryffindor in the Dungeon! He's here to kill us" reaction was forefront in their minds.
- I'm glad someone caught Draco drinking, I was starting to wonder if I needed to hang neon bar signs around his corner to make the point. I don't know if I'd go as far as alcoholic, but he has been hitting the bottle since his father's death.
- I don't know why, but it seems to fit her. Maybe Andy used House Elves... I'm basing the Tonks character here on a female friend, who I do occasionally clean up after and for whom I have alphabetized her porn (once by primary sex act, which pissed her off to no end.)
- It will pretty much continue like that. In (i think) two chapter will be a 'Major Life Changing Event With a Decision That Will Forever Change Harry's Life' and I apologize for it in advance. I hate those things, but it's the way the story is going and I can't get my stubborn muse to change direction...
- Okay, you've got everything all nice and settled -- is this the end of the story or do you ahve somewhere interesting to take us? I look forward to the answer!
Author's response- Oh there's more, a bit of drama, a touch of angst, and the whole back story to flesh out.
- I think I foreshadowed it a bit.
(#) morriganscrow 2008-05-15Fine chapter.
The scene with the Slytherins was very nice and right in character.
The Hermione/Justin 'ship is okay, and the Muggleborn agenda will be interesting to read.
I enjoyed the Tonks scene very much, as she has long been one of my favorite characters, and the interaction with Harry was great.
I am most interested in reading about the results of Harry's mind healing and the new Fidelius.
Author's response- Thank you.
- Harry has to get to know Daphne's world if he expects her to know his.
- It won't be much of a subplot... No massive conspiracy to be exposed (in this fic)
- Tonks is always fun.
- Coming up.
- Thanks for the update, it was great. but something was bothering me so I read the whole story again and that is when it hit me. Daphnes father, he was so desperate to pair up his daughter with a light sided family that he put in those clauses in her contract and made her pose for nude pictures. so if he planed that whose to say that he didn't have back up plans if harry said no to the contract, and even if daphne is an adult she still has to obey her head of house.
Author's response- And thus my next major plot point is discovered before I use it...
- Nicely done!
The bit with Tonks was great fun, especially Winky alphabetising her porn.
I liked the scene in the dungeons quite a lot as well. The way you're taking Draco is interesting--not repentent, maybe, but growing up and becoming less of a git, even if he is a drunk.
What, no playing with Dumbles' head scene? ;-)
Well, I'm sure you're just giving it a respite in order to build up for the next big one.
Author's response- Thank you.
- Tonks is fun. And you just know she has some nasty porn.
- If Daphne is going to deal with Harry's world, then he needs to deal with hers.
- Nah, don't want to do that too much.
(#) FrequencyQueen 2008-05-15I really like how you've made Harry strong (magically) but he's a wimp when in comes to relationships. I especially like what you've done with Neville. It seems he never gets a fair shot at the hero biz.
Author's response- Well, in all fairness Harry is only 17 with what? Experience with three girl. Parvati, a horrible mistake at 14, Cho, a horrible mistake at 15, and Ginny, a catastrophic mistake at 16. IF there is anyone entitled to be a clueless wonder concerning relationships, it's Harry.
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2008-05-15OK, like it. retarded spidermonkey, I take offense as if you go to my ffn profile you will quite clearly see my rendition of Voldemort's evil spidermonkey secret animagus form. It's hush hush, so try to keep it to yourself.
With the way that you left off on this one I'm anticipating the other foot to fall on this one as well. I do hope that you continue with that pursuit and have Harry have a bit of a hard time so that he can attempt to overcome it.
With all the questions coming from Albus, I'm anticipating that he is going to attempt to charge Harry with the Murder of Tom Riddle in a loose attempt to gain control of the Potter trust and to pay his employees of the Order of the Phoenix. It would be a nice attempt at a bit of cliche, and you've been playing with the cliche with bits that are either told to him or recently overheard. Please update soon.
Sign up to review this story.