Cali goes into a deep depression. And please please rate!
Heartbreak is something everyone goes through. Sometimes its simple, and you do your best to forget. Others cry for days, and try to move on but just can't find themselves to do it, because everything they do reminds them of that one person. Even the most simplistic thing, such as taking your clothes to the laundry mat makes you break down in tears, because it was your thing, you always had done it together. After time some will eventually get over it. But others will spend the rest of their lives dwelling upon it, in hopes one day they will realize what mistake they had made. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they dont.
I blamed myself so many nights. I thought of so many ways that it could have been different, so many ways I could've been a better girlfriend. But it never changed the fact that he was gone. I couldnt get over the fact that he had left. That he was never coming back, that he was gone.
He made me second-guess everything in my life, everything we had, it almost felt as if it were all a lie. I hadnt moved from my bed since that call and it had almost been a week. I had used up the end of my sick days and tomorrow was the day I had to go back.
I just laid there, on my bed, not moving an inch. Dreading tomorrow. I wasn't ready to face the world yet; I didnt think I would ever be. I felt warned out and empty. I felt like nothing, every inch of my body felt drained. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to do everything in my power to just forget. To just lie here in my bed and let the world and melt away.
Then the idea of there being no tomorrow almost made me want to smile. I had been thinking about it a lot lately, and seemed so simple, so easy. I wanted to just let everything go.
I got up from my bed and slowly shuffled to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, my face was blotchy, and a fresh heap of tears were running down my face. My hair was incredible greasy and knotted up into a messy ponytail. I was complete and utter disaster. I wiped away tears, and started to run a bath, as seeing I hadn't taken one in awhile. I slowly took my clothes off and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills I had, and put them on the ledge of the bath. I then slowly slipped into the hot steaming bath, and then without hesitation poured a handful of the pills into my hand, and took them. I slowly laid my head back and slipped away.