This is a really good story! Youre not getting any reviews cause its hard to read. You need spaces between paragraphs. And some of the dialog is hard to follow since it dosent say he said/she said. maybe break it up a litte with actions and spacing. If you need help with it send me an email through the link thing and I'll show you more specifically. Otherwise. Its a great story line. I hope you keep working on it!----xoxo