Review for My World

My World

(#) RbeTyh 2006-06-23

Okay. Grammer and sentence structure were good. I'm not really an O/E fan but their getting together after "Fault" is not implausable. I don't think Olivia would be so weak as to want to end her own life though. It's out of character. I think however that you should contine the story. There needs to be more of a "settling/understanding" between the two. I mean they can't just ignore that in your story Olivia was about to kill herself and that the only reason she didn't was that Elliot showed up unexpectedly. Maybe you could show why you think that Olivia would be so on edge/desprate/hopeless that suicide became a possible solution.