Review for Weary

Weary

(#) yrena 2007-06-09

All right... I know it's hard getting feedback sometimes, lord knows it is for me... but I've got a couple issues with this story.
1. Cloud's too OOC. He says things that Cloud wouldn't say, and cusses a bit much. I don't think Cloud would ever say "I love you" to anyone- he's more of the type to allow actions to show that he does, however messed up his actions are. That's just how Cloud is... I just can't see him blurting something out like that, unless it was more of an extreme situation, like someone about to die.
2. I can't imagine anyone, especially Cloud, listen to someone talk about another person and what they should do about them, when Cloud is in love or in some sort of relationship with the person talking. Maybe it'd be better to put that... like Cloud and Reno become close friends, and Cloud slowly comes to realize he loves Reno, and just can't take the talk about Reno's girlfriend. It might just be me, but it seems like it'd be more romantic than Reno having both at the same time and just having Cloud around for sex. Kinda kills the mood, y'know?
3. Reno is... OOC too, but it's really hard to pinpoint it with Cloud being the POV. First and foremost Reno's a turk, would he really be asking for help with a relationship? I think he might be bragging or gossiping instead, because that's what Reno does in the game. I think he'd be too proud going to anyone, especally a former enemy, for help with his personal life, close friend now or not. Maybe with Rude, maybe, but Reno strikes me as being very independent (though loyal).

Anyway! I hope that helps, and I hope to see more from you.