Review for Virtual Reality

Virtual Reality

(#) fruit_addict 2007-06-26

yes, yes, I know I already reviewed but I forgot something. I realized that until this chapter you hadn't described the main character except that he had green eyes, which is changed in this chapter to chocolate brown. It would probably be better if you described him in the first chapter then re-describe him in the third chapter so the reader grasps that the enemy is his inner self. Maybe his inner self is darker so he looks different? I'm not sure but that should be clarified a bit better. good writing though keep it up.