Hello there! I came upon this story by happenstance last night, and was up until after three AM reading it...I just finished catching up to it today, and just...wow. This is truly wonderful writing; you have a decent grasp on spelling and grammar, and while the female OCs seem just a bit Sue-ish (they're all described as being very pretty/beautiful, long legged, etc) you don't really spend any time bringing that up time and time again, or reminding us of them. The OCs blend in seamlessly with the canon characters we know and love, and their tangled, interweaving storylines work together very, very well. Your dialogue doesn't seem forced, your humor is spot on, and the emotions seem /real/.
I've been wanting to write a Patrick-centered FOB story for a while, and then when I saw Knocked Up at the movies, I had the sudden thought to write a fic very close to what this one is like; I thought Patrick would be the perfect character for it. But now that I've gone through and read this, I doubt I could do any better of a job; this is a truly captivating, and well-written story, so there's no use in even trying.
I love Amanda's death, because it's handled in a way that's more realistic than the typically cliched things you normally find in fics to be found in fandoms involving rock bands. (You know what I mean; tragic deaths at the side of their lovers, lots of hospital angst, tearful, cliche dying words...that sort of thing.) But Amanda's death in this story is just so sudden, and pointless...it's just like deaths are in real life.
I commend you on doing such a wonderful job with this story, and can't wait to read more!