FicWad

"Excuse me?"
"She was killed in a car accident at 6:36 PM." The officer informed him. "I'm so sorry."
"She... she's dead?"
"I'm afraid so, Sir."
Patrick nodded in disbelief and swallowed.
"Thanks for telling me."
When the officers had left, Patrick closed the door. He locked it twice and leant his back against it, fighting the scream that was building up in his chest. He slid down the door until he was sitting on the carpet. And then he cried.
He cried until he could cry no more.

"Jesus, Patrick, I came as soon as I heard." Joe said, bolting through the front door Andy had just opened and into the kitchen. Patrick was sitting in shock at the kitchen table, his face blotchy, his lip trembling, his eyelashes stuck together with tears. He didn't say anything, he didn't even look at Joe, just stared straight ahead out of the window.
"Here. Drink this." Pete said, walking over with a mug. He placed it in front of Patrick and when he didn't even respond, took his hands and closed them around the mug so he knew it was there. Patrick still didn't move.
"No." He said, shaking his head as if he were a small child.
"Drink it, Patrick." Pete said defiantly, holding the mug himself and raising it to Patrick's lips. Patrick's mouth automatically opened as the mug touched his lips and Pete made him take a drink before setting it down again.
"I stopped at an all night drug store and bought some sedatives. I put some in there." Pete told Andy and Joe. Patrick shook his head.
"I don't want any."
Pete rubbed his back as more tears fell unnoticed from Patrick's eyes.
"You've already had some. It'll be alright, 'Trick. Don't worry, it'll relax you and let you sleep."
"I don't want to sleep." Patrick said. His voice had lost any authority, any reasonability. It was pleading and desperate.
"It's okay, Patrick. We're here for you." Joe said, sitting next to him and putting his arm around him.
Half an hour later, Patrick had hardly said a word, and the kitchen was filled with tension and emotion, the small TV in the corner on the counter playing, unwatched. Patrick's eyes began to droop, still dripping tears, and he turned to Pete.
"I want my bed."
"Alright." He said, putting his arm around him and supporting him as he got up. Patrick seemed to lack any physical energy, he was fully dependent on Pete to support him.
Upstairs, Pete stopped in front of Danielle and Josh's room.
"Say night night, Daddy."
Danielle and Josh made indecipherable noises as Pete smiled at them and guided Patrick to his bedroom. Patrick barely even heard a sound.
"Alright, now you take off your pants." Pete said, as Patrick collapsed onto the bed. The sedative seemed to be loosening every muscle in his body. He curled up on the bed, on top of the sheets and shook his head.
"You want to sleep with your pants on?" Pete asked. Patrick nodded.
"You'll get real hot."
Patrick's reply was a shrug.
"OK, well I'm going to be here. So seeing as I'm your best friend, I'm going to take your pants off." He said, reluctantly. He was more hesitant of Patrick's reaction. He was so zombie like he was just waiting for him to lash out. He unbuckled Patrick's belt and pulled his pants down, folding them and placing them on the end of his bed. He took his hat off and removed Patrick's glasses for him, placing his hat on his bedpost and his glasses on his night-stand. He somehow managed to get Patrick under the covers and covered him up with it. Now he was shaking and his teeth were chattering.
"It's OK, Patrick. It's OK." Pete said, sitting down as Patrick let out heartbreaking sobs. It scared Pete to see him this way. He sat next to him on the bed and wondered what to do. He couldn't exactly rock him back to sleep, but he couldn't hold his hand and push his hair out of his eyes and tell him it would all be OK in the morning.
Patrick's sobs continued for a few minutes, turning into howls that even scared Joe and Andy downstairs as he cried and rocked himself back and forth, burying his head in his pillow. Pete almost broke down seeing him in the state he was in. It took all his strength to remain calm and soothe Patrick.
"Shh." He repeated for minutes on end until Patrick's howls had subsided and were replaced by sniffling and gulps until there was silence. Pete looked at him. He was fast asleep.
"Sleep well, buddy." He whispered. He left the light on as he left Patrick's room, peered in at Danielle and Josh as they fell asleep, and made his way into the kitchen, where Joe and Andy both had a cup of tea and had set one out for Pete on the table opposite them, Patrick's half drug mug still sitting on the table.
"We'll need to call Bob, and everyone else. Cancel the tour for a bit, or postpone it."
Andy and Joe nodded.
"I'm on it." Joe said, getting up and walking into the hallway to pick up the phone.
"I can't believe it." Andy said, shaking his head. "It's so unfair."
"Just when things were turning out great for them both."
Andy nodded.
"God. Why all the nicest people?"
Pete shrugged and took a drink.
"Of all the nicest people being Patrick. And Amanda."
"How did it happen?" Andy asked, reluctantly.
"Car crash." Pete said, shaking his head. "She pulled out and a lorry just... didn't see her."
Andy closed his eyes and also shook his head as he took a drink.
"They found her cell." Pete added, his voice now a whisper. "Patrick had left that voice mail on her machine. They got his address and, well..."
"Is he asleep?"
Pete nodded, setting his mug down.
"Fast asleep. He cried for a bit."
"Yeah, we heard. Poor guy."
"I know. It killed me to sit there with him."
Pete clapped his hand to his mouth and looked horrified.
"God, I'm sorry." He mumbled.
"It's OK. Simple mistake." Andy said.
"Oh, God." Pete said, letting his hand fall to his side.
"What?"
"Patrick's last words to her..."
"What were they?" Andy asked.
"Drive safe."
Andy looked at the surface of the table. It was all too surreal.
"Bob's going to put an announcement on the website, and MySpace, everything..." Joe said, coming into the room. "He tells us to be there for him and tell Patrick he's thinking of him."
"Thanks, Joe." Pete said, as Joe sat back down.
"No problem."
The three men sat in silence, drinking as the TV programs changed, the hands on the clock ticked around to different hours.
"I'm gonna crash the night." Pete said, breaking the silence after a long time.
"Me too." Joe and Andy said simultaneously.
"Someone will have to call Patrick's mom in the morning."
"I'll do that." Andy said.
"And we'll have to check in with Bob to see if everything's been explained to the kids." Joe said.
"And the three of us will have to look after Danni and Josh." Pete added.
"Sure." Andy said. "Don't forget about Patrick. Somehow I think he won't be fully functioning for a long time."

The next few hours crept into dawn, the light outside the windows inched across the carpet until it awoke Pete in the morning. He was lying flat on the couch, on his stomach, while Andy slept curled up in the armchair and Joe was sprawled out on the other couch. He sat up quickly and walked through the house, in case Patrick was up. He looked in on Danni and Josh, who were still fast asleep, and then he looked into Patrick's room, where his back was facing the door.
"Patrick?" He whispered, entering the room. He walked around to the side of the bed where Patrick was facing, and bent down. He was still asleep. He was hiccuping in his sleep. He'd either woken up a while ago and cried himself back to sleep, or the effects of his break down were still showing.
"God, Patrick. I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve any of this. Not one bit of it."

A few hours later, Pete, Andy and Joe were sitting at the kitchen table again, having another drink to keep them going, when they heard a thump from the hallway. Pete jumped up and ran out of the room to see Patrick standing on the small landing before the last few steps on his stairway. He giggled.
"I jumped 'em." He said, pointing as he jumped the last few. Pete grabbed his arm to steady him in case he fell.
"Whoah, I feel so... weird." Patrick said, as Pete led him through to the kitchen, without saying a word. He looked in the living room.
"Who messed up the couch?! Why are you here, anyways?" He asked, looking around the living room as they walked past. He stopped and stared at the photo on the mantelpiece again.
He looked at Pete, his eyes wide and pleading.
"No." He said, shaking his head. "It wasn't true."
Pete looked at him and held his arm tighter. He simply nodded and Patrick shook his head more wildly.
"No. It can't be true." He said, and the tears came again, causing Pete to take him back to the stairway and sit him down.
"I want another one..." Patrick said between tears. Pete assumed he meant the sedatives he'd given him before, and thinking it was a wise choice, called Joe.
"Joe? Make another of the cup of tea I made last night." He said. Joe nodded and went back into the kitchen as Pete lifted Patrick up again.
"Come on, buddy. Back to bed and you can sleep again until you're all cried out, yeah?"
"I don't want it... she can't... Pete! Make it better!" Patrick said, pushing against him as he supported him up the stairs.
"I can't, Patrick. I really can't."

I wanna have the same last dream again,
The one where I wake up and I'm alive,
Just as the four walls close me within,
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight,

I'm the first to know,
My dearest friends,
Even if your hope has burned with time,
Anything that's dead shall be regrown,
And your viscious pain, your warning sign,
You will be fine.