No offence or anything, but at first I didn't really understand it. Then, after reading it a few more times, and understanding it a bit better, I thought it was great! But I think that next time you should re-read, edit, and revize. Most people don't take the time to read the same story over again, they just rate it as bad. If they can get a clear understanding of what's going on, then they will be more inclined to rate it better. You have a real good story here, but it needs to make sense. Sorry if I sounded a little harsh. ~Alexias