It might be something you're just writing for fun, but I have to say it seems to be a pretty good start. I'll comment further on the plot once there's more than the intro, but it looks pretty good so far - nothing unreadable for grammar/spelling; only a few small mistakes that I can remember sticking out.
I look forward to reading more of this (No, not just for the smut... really! ^_^). Seriously, though, I agree with slasheh. It ain't perfect, but it definately is at the very least a decent start.