Your English is getting better. Still having capitalization errors. Words that start sentences should be capitalized. Also, blank lines between paragraphs would help readability.
Still pretty interesting, even if nothing really happened in this chapter.
Author's response
thanks so much for your advices! they are really helpful and i'll keep them in mind. Yeah nothing much happened in this chap, just wanted the readers to get to know the connection between Harry and Lani, besides, I wanted to add more, but it was just to much material and very important and i didnt want to get you guys tired of reading and either cutting in off. So, the other chapter is going to be really interesting! well that's how i felt about it.
keep the reviews! and thanks again for helping me and reading my story!!
alos!!