Hm. Would it do any good if I mentioned that it's not nice to make fun of people on Welfare? A large part of me hopes not.
It's "grabbed hold of" or "got a hold of."
"Several hours, and isle cleanups later"
You don't need this comma.
"Through some small miracle, and thanks to two years "
Not this one either.
You want to make Derek do something unpleasant? Spilled frozen fish guts.
"Overpowering" is one word. And women are not less hygienic than men!
"Darrel was a tall, skinny, balled seventy year old man"
Um... Do you mean that he was bald? 'Cause the other spelling means something else.
"accidents".
The period goes inside the quote marks.
Not as funny as the previous chapter, but still a darn fun read.
Author's response
With you around I’ll never need an editor. As for the woman hygiene Derek said that the bathroom was the one exception and those horror stories from that place all happened to me, and much worse. Glad you liked it and I’ll try to make the next one better