Okay, so I must admit that the beginning explaining everything kinda bored me, but I dod agree that it's important to get facts like this down. But after that, it actually got started, even though you used "They all" too much in my opinion. But that's the trouble with using a whole bunch of characters, and I'm extremely guilty of it, myself.
Overall, I enjoyed it, and I know that I might sound nitpicky, but I really did enjoy it, and can't wait to see more of it, especially Jamie!
Author's response
thanks!
it takes me about a chapter or two get into the groove of writing. I promise the later chapters wil be better!
and there will be more.