Please, do not stop writing!
This is pretty much the only MCR story I read. I'm not kidding.
Your writing style is NOT crappy and everything DOES have a point!
As for the whole out-of-character thing, don't worry. They're all acting totally normal. Fanfiction will never be 100% on how they act so don't stress.
Please continue this story! It's way to awesome to get canceled! Please don't stop and please put it in more Ray. Haha, just kidding.
Stay gangsta =] xo