I like this story too! It's very good, but I think some ways that you could improve it is to maybe have a little bit of feeling, like a paragraph where he's not talking he's telling the reader what he feels.
Other than that, it's great!
Author's response
Yes I completely agree with you. I knew something was missing. But wasn't really sure how to go about it. But yeah more of Pete no exactly nataring will come up :)
Thanks for reviewing and telling me how to improve! It means alot :)
Hows the writters block going?