"I can't help but think my story lacks something.... Probably a good author."
Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing. I tend to laugh at things that normal people wouldn't laugh at. But I found that VERY funny!
But seriously--you are a good author. Don't doubt yourself. I like the story, it has a very good plot. You describe the emotions very well. Just one thing I'd watch out on is capitalization; some words are capitalized when they shouldn't be. But that's just a small technical thing, so keep writing!
Author's response
Thanks! I'm Glad I made you laugh!
And after reading your comment and reading through my story I realised I realy do tend to capitalize things taht don't need it. Thanks for pointing it out.