i like the story.
the only thing im not too crazy about is how blunt and short you are with very big things.
like how you said"we did it." and then "we did it again"
juat think. if you just had sex with gerard way, would "we did it" honestly be all you felt like saying?
i mean, i understand how you might feel uncomfortable with actually describing the sex, but instead of " we did it" say something a bit more like "as we were standing in the water, we made love. It was magical and Gerard was always so gentle.." something along those lines ya know? make it more intersesting and descriptive. make the audience really feel likfe it was them.
but i personally like the story. just a little advice =]
-Lindsey Lachrymosa